Blah.    2005-03-22 19:15:58 ET
i hate this feeling.

i wish someone would fix the "imbalance" in my brain, or do something to make the mood swings stop. Yesterday was the best day in the world. Today has been nothing but shit. HOW can i feel so good, then suddenly, so bad? Why cant i just be normal? i cant stress how much i hate feeling this down. i dont know what to do to make it go away. i dont know what to do to keep myself on a level field anymore. The only thing that i know is that every day will be an adventure. i wake up wondering, will i feel great and fun and happy today, or will i feel like shit.

Pills dont work, maybe it's been to long. i hate that i have my life has come down to whether or not the perscription will keep working, or if it'll wear off and i'll go into this slump again.

Maybe it's time for something different. Who knows.


     2005-03-21 15:36:53 ET
Butterflies are amazing.

Tho, i'm glad the "initial shock" is over.

What a wonderful, wonderful day.


i'm a happy girl. Someone's happy girl.
1 comment

     2005-03-20 15:25:43 ET
i rode on the motorcycle today.

i have to admit, it was pretty kool.

Dont tell anyone i said that.



i am very excited about tomorrow.

Just thinking about it... i have more butterflies.

More to come.

     2005-03-15 09:50:58 ET
i got my first paycheck today!!! Yayyyy!!!

$221! i know, REALLY, it's not that much. BUT, it was the first check (since i've been married) that i WORKED for and had only MY name on. It's ALL mine. It was pretty cool. i did some minor shopping. Nothing major. Got the kids The Incredibles on dvd and found a shirt at Hot Topic that has the manager guy from Office Space on it and it says: "Ummm, yeah, i'm gonna need ya to go ahead and come in on Saturday." lol... i thought it was great, and on clearance for $9.00. Bought the kids a couple shirts at Gap on clearance, and that was about it. So... that was my day. i'm home now and i think i'm going to watch a movie and crash on the couch, since the kids are enthralled with The Incredibles. Thank you, new movie Tuesday on Spring break. ha.

     2005-03-14 08:14:07 ET
Anyone wanna keep me company with random net chat?

i dont think i could be more bored.

Here ya go, ask me a question... ANYTHING and i'll answer honestly.

Please help me so that my brain dosent explode from quiet.


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