Weighed and Measured
2010-12-06 04:50:10 ET

So matt and i had a 3 hour convo last night about alot of things. Us fighting lately, Me being in and out of Tristan's life, and the fact that I want kids and he's not sure if he wants more...

He admitted it's his fault that we've been fighting because he has a hard time telling me what's up in his head and what's wrong right away. He's afraid that me being in and out of Tristan's life will mess with Tristan's head. We discussed kids a long time ago and kind of decided that it's stupid to fight over something that may or may not happen, so we'd just take it day by day. Apparently that whole thing has been weighing on him cause he doesn't want me to move my life up there and him disappoint me by saying he still doesn't want kids.

He said that breaking up with me is by no means the easy route cause he'd lose a great girlfriend and a friend. He said he has alot of thinking to do.

I'm supposed to go up there in 20 days...I'm so scared...I just wanna spend some time with him. I really think it would help. I just hope he doesn't freak out and break up with me before I have a chance to get through this with him...

I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm not sure how...I feel like this is hopeless...

2010-12-06 04:59:08 ET

<3 that's rough.

2010-12-06 05:08:42 ET

he's been perfect so far and never really douched out on me..so i'm trying to believe he's really thinking about this and not just making a snap choice, but of course i'm afraid that's what happening...

2010-12-06 09:18:48 ET

getting better?

2010-12-06 13:49:50 ET

Not really...just scared

2010-12-06 16:59:56 ET

...I hope you two can make things work...and once you're together, it will be easier.

2010-12-06 18:21:54 ET

i don't wanna put any negative out there, but i hope that's still part of the plan. i hope he doesn't call me tomorrow and break it off before having a chance to be together again.

2010-12-07 05:32:23 ET

I hope so too <3

2010-12-07 06:38:40 ET

i feel like it's silly to have this convo via SK lol...do you have BBM or txting?

2010-12-07 09:32:56 ET

My bb just died. But I have aim

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