2011-01-01 07:19:52 ET|
I hate it when things are going perfectly fine in a relationship then when something slightly out of the ordinary happens it makes it seem like all that good never even happened.
I recognize the fact that i get upset about things that don't matter really quickly and unfortunately since I haven't had a reliable female sounding board readily available to me here, it usually gets bigger in my head than it really is.
Last night matt was joking with an old guy friend about how they're going to have a threesome with me and stuff. honestly it was hilarious cause i know this guy friend and i know there's no weird threesome threat to my relationship.
Coupled with the fact that matt hadn't seen some of the people at our party last night in a very long time he was off with them on the balcony smoking or whatever at lots of random times.
My lovely girl brain, and the vodka i was drinking, decided that this meant he didn't give a shit if i was at this party or not if he was just going to go off with his friends and ignore me. *sigh*
So realizing i was making a mountain out of a grain of sand, i went out on the balcony to get some air and chill. Matt, being the caring guy he is, comes out to check on me.
I told him i didn't wanna bring it up cause it was stupid and i just needed a minute to realize how stupid it was. he kept pushing so i told him.
he looked at me and said "so...you're afraid...you're going to lose me...to a guy?"
i started tearing up cause he was getting it so wrong and it didn't even matter in the first place. so i told him to forget it and rejoined him inside where i explained my need to have a few minutes alone sometimes to sort out my brain and tell myself "srsly? THIS is what you're upset about? You're dumb..."
I hate it when shit like that happens. Cause once you say it out loud to someone you sound like a total jackass for being upset about it in the first place, but by then that person already thinking you're a drama queen so really no one wins.
Ugh. Sometimes being a girl fucking blows.
thx for reading if you did..haha