2011-06-14 18:44:52 ET

so i have this friend who is incredibly emotional.

she's been through a lot of rough things lately and basically everywhere she turns, she can't catch a break.

everyone's talking shit and she says she's just sick of everyone talking and not knowing what they're talking about.

I told her to ignore it. It's a much bigger deal than "he said she said". it's family stuff. so it's her own family talking shit.

I still feel like her assuming they're all out to get her and checking fb to see if they're saying stuff is her buying into it.

It IS a big deal. not saying it's not. but i just feel like if she would just ignore them and let them talk their shit and go about their terrible lives, her life would be 100% easier.


2011-06-14 19:26:49 ET

My thoughts are: Sometimes it's people you care so much enough about that; how they feel (in your own eyes) is how you feel.

Let her know she is a worthwhile being to YOU is about all you can do in that situation.

2011-06-15 05:20:49 ET

When it's your family, you CANT ignore it.

2011-06-15 12:01:54 ET

Well it her family that's always been estranged and assholes and they've recently popped up again so my question to her was "if it hasn't mattered what they said for 10 years why does it matter now?"

they're just not nice people and they have 0 nice things to say about anyone who doesn't live exactly as they do.

2011-06-15 12:27:57 ET

Because she always wanted it to matter. Because it's her family. It's dumb, but unavoidable.

Try not to judge and just BE THERE. Best advice I have.

2011-06-15 18:54:30 ET

i'm not judging her...i just hate seeing her tear herself apart over things that these awful people are saying instead of focusing on important things coming up in her own life.

i know she'd be super pissed if she messed up these things due to her asshole family. so idk what to do or say to keep her on track.

2011-06-15 19:28:58 ET

Same as I said before. Just be there. Sometimes someone needs encouragement over the right thing. Because it's what their heart is telling them to do regardless of logic.

Look, I sound all hokey. But I mean that.

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