2011-10-06 20:33:14 ET

The scariest thing about a new (possible) relationship is that I'll have to open up to someone...risk myself.

How do I overcome this? This man is great...so how do I get over what every other shitty guy has done to me?

I'm at a loss...

2011-10-06 20:36:37 ET

Systematic desensitization

2011-10-06 20:36:53 ET


2011-10-06 20:38:13 ET

i'm tired..so what would normally be easy for me to decipher is difficult at the moment..

2011-10-06 20:42:09 ET

You just gotta do it. There really isn't an easy way.

If I may...make sure you go through a sufficient trial period before you go all getting mega attached. Learn about him, his goals, his lifestyle, how he handles stress, how he handles emergencies.

2011-10-06 20:43:53 ET

If you've been bit (and especially repetitiously) it's only natural to be fearful about opening up again. There's no magic bullet kind of fix for it, but what works is to expose yourself to it a little over time. As in, open up some (maybe start with letting him know you've had some relationship flops and you'll be slow to open up?) and then when you're comfortable with that level, open up a little more. Then rinse and repeat.

2011-10-06 20:46:08 ET

yes yes..of course...no trust me..we've talked about it and we're both in NO rush to the alter...

and i'm very much enjoying learning all those things about him :)

we talked for 3.5 hours tonight on the phone (as he's across the country at the moment)

2011-10-06 20:48:15 ET

Then you're already on the path to getting over the past dudes....just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll be fine.

2011-10-07 02:27:00 ET

Buy him a kitten.

2011-10-07 05:40:46 ET

I like Drake's suggestion.

Try to remember that the new guy is not the old guys.

2011-10-07 06:15:31 ET

You're never going to get ANYWHERE in your relationship unless you're vulnerable. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

2011-10-07 08:07:38 ET

Furthermore, stop putting him on some pedestal. He might be a great person but in the end, he's just a guy and you're just a gal, I'm sure he's vuberable as anyone else.

2011-10-07 12:25:02 ET

@drake: omg...lol

@epsilon: i'm not saying he's perfect and never makes a mistake never ever. i'm aware he's human and just as capable of hurting me as anyone else. but so far...he hasn't...so that's what i'm focusing on.

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