It just wont work out now
2004-02-26 10:14:44 ET

Twas another morning this morning. You know one of those mornings you wake up and hope it was just a dream. Well this has been happening for the past week and a half. I wake up and I pray and hope that it was just a dream. I want to wake up from a coma and find my life has just been a bad dream. Yet to my prevail no matter how deep I cut no matter how much I deny everything it is no dream and I am brought back to this pointless hell you call conciousness. This morning when I woke up I realized something. I've distanced myself from so many people nobody, well almsot nobody now knows who I am. And the only two people who really knows what happens in my life don't even live in the same state as me. So it's time again to grit my teeth smile and trudge on through the endless waves of everything I despise.

I need to get outta my house now. I don't care what happens I just need to leave. Gettin high will momentarily take it away. Death is too easy and I don't want to give up yet, I'm not a fucking quitter. But there has to be a point where I either give up or everything gets better.

2004-03-03 06:00:19 ET


seriously... thats not a good place to be in... when no one know's you... you feel like the world is somehow against you....

you have friends just no one that truely know's you... right?

i was so right there, and believe me you dont want to stay in that spot.
it's a bad freakin spot to be in.

2004-03-03 14:56:22 ET

It is a horrible spot and its eating away at me...

i even flipped shit hardcore on a customer today. i need a vacation...

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