Slap In the Fucking Face
2002-09-26 11:35:04 ET

How's this for a slap in the face? Lawrence, who has been showing intrest in me, declared to me that he was a virgin. I thought that was cute. Well, he retardedly left his wallet in my car. He had three condoms in there, and one empty condom wrapper. So much for that.


In happier news, my nose is SO HAPPY. It is no longer stiff around my nose ring, and it doesn't ache anymore. Yay for Dial soap.

2002-09-26 11:36:11 ET

In other news, lawrence is a lying assbag

2002-09-26 11:37:48 ET

I told you that only assholes like me.

2002-09-26 11:38:50 ET

::shakes head::....kill him....

2002-09-26 11:39:58 ET

I'd love to. Really I would.

2002-09-26 11:40:52 ET

OR, if he has credit cards, post the #s on the internet..

2002-09-26 11:41:57 ET

No, he's too poor. I have his best friends learner's permit. :)

2002-09-26 11:42:57 ET

hahahah nice

2002-09-26 11:43:23 ET

is his friend roughly 5'6, brown hair and eyes, 125 pounds, and live in NJ? if so, mail it to me

2002-09-26 11:44:51 ET

No, he's 6'0, red hair and 120 pounds. And he lives in New Mexico. I'm sorry. But I can mail you the condoms!

2002-09-26 11:45:52 ET

LOL not getting any sex,so i really have no use for em...6 foot nothing ant 120 pounds is skinny as FUCK

2002-09-26 11:47:01 ET

Yeah. We call him "Noodles". But I'm not talking to them anymore.


2002-09-26 11:48:33 ET

oh right right...congrats on the nose!

2002-09-26 11:50:36 ET

Thank you, thank you.

His wallet also has a lot of girl numbers. I think I want to call them.

2002-09-26 11:52:13 ET

sounds like a plan!

2002-09-26 11:53:54 ET

I just called "Ashley". She wasn't nice.

2002-09-26 11:54:16 ET

hahahahahahhahahahhaha thats hilarious

2002-09-26 11:57:04 ET

I'm scared to call anymore of them. :(

2002-09-26 11:57:54 ET


2002-09-26 11:59:12 ET

I'm hungry. What should I eat?

2002-09-26 11:59:26 ET


2002-09-26 11:59:52 ET

The real question is: What made you peruse the wallet???

Shame shame!

2002-09-26 12:01:07 ET

Oooh, bandiera caught me. Well, it was in my car. I needed to figure out who it belonged to. ;)

2002-09-26 12:02:01 ET

Perhaps you can declare that if the wallet IS in the car that belongs to you then technically the wallet belongs to you too--as long as it is in your car...

2002-09-26 12:04:22 ET

You are smart. Smarter than me. You should be a lawyer. YES, the wallet in MY car becomes MY wallet until I relinquish the sexy wallet back into his possession. ;)

2002-09-26 12:06:54 ET

ahahahaha! What a fucking liar. And a retarded one at that. Who would lie about their virginity? That's stupid... or maybe it's just me I don't know.

2002-09-26 12:15:56 ET

He wanted to get into my pants. That's how he probably justifies it himself.

2002-09-26 13:36:18 ET

You can probably extend car ownership from the car door to the sidewalk of your home all the way to the house door. You could even try to claim that when your car is in the driveway, it is a part of your home thus making your car and home ONE and, in turn, making the home part of the car ownership and you could have looked through the wallet inside of your house in all fairness.

Whoa......what a sentence.

2002-09-26 14:15:21 ET

O_O... wow. Quite a good brain working for you up there

2002-09-26 14:16:31 ET

bandiera: turn off the computer. step away. Go outside and find something to do :P its sad when I am saying that lol

2002-09-26 17:19:21 ET

No, she needs to go take the BAR exam and become a lawyer. So she can save my ass every time I getinto stupid trouble.

2002-09-26 19:35:29 ET

What? What?

One cannot do much when they are chained in a dungeon with their only companions being a skeleton named Jack and a scrappy PC with a 56k modem.

2002-09-27 04:00:42 ET

But dungeons are so NEAT. I wish I had one.

2002-09-27 23:20:16 ET

You should have Jack pitch in for a Cable connection, b.n. It's oh so sweet.

I'm happy about your nose, Joce.

2002-09-28 04:40:07 ET

All Jack does is complain about how tight the chains are. I happen to enjoy it in a sick sort of way.

I am always tempting the guard so perhaps I can make him soft.

And you do NOT want a dungeon. I mean, I do not operate one myself, but after hearing all of the complaints down here it is just too much trouble.

2002-09-28 14:04:35 ET

I'll just beat them if they complain. It will solve everything.

2002-09-28 15:41:21 ET

There shall be an uprising! One day! You will see!

2002-09-28 16:33:17 ET

Can I live in your dungeon, Joce?

2002-09-28 16:58:03 ET

I'll just keep friends in the dungeon then. Like Sheen.

2002-09-28 17:35:08 ET

If Rude Boy is living there then I definitely have to live there as well!

2002-09-28 17:44:36 ET

Yes, b.n! Keep me company!

2002-09-28 22:02:51 ET

All three of us can have our own cells. And our own sets of luxurious fuzzy handcuffs.

2002-09-28 22:05:21 ET

We could play cribbage and take up knitting! What fun!

2002-09-28 22:12:38 ET

Can we have a movie night?

2002-09-28 22:19:38 ET


2002-09-28 22:22:01 ET

Yes! Let's get chinese food and watch Dead Alive!

2002-09-28 22:25:42 ET

Oh no! Dead Alive is more of an Italian food with eXXXtra tomato sauce and melted mozzarella cheese kind of film...

2002-09-28 22:27:44 ET


Last time I watched it, I had nachos and vodka (not a good combination)!

2002-09-28 22:30:35 ET

Were they 7-11 nachos? Those certainly make the world go 'round. As for vodka, I have laid off the stuff ever since I was accused of murder in the third degree whilst under the influence of alcohol.

We can have Chinese food during ZOMBIE though!

2002-09-28 22:36:31 ET

Nope, they were store-bought. I think..Tostidos and some damn jar of cheese sauce.

I certainly hope the murder charge came out okay! Just between you and me.. did you do it?

Zombie it is then.

2002-09-28 22:54:46 ET

I can settle for Salsa Con Queso anytime. Ole!

The murder charge ended up in my favor, but I still am forced to spend time down in this dungeon.

I don't rat on no one.

ZOMBIE forever, dear sir!

2002-09-28 23:21:08 ET

forced? It's not all that bad, though, right?

2002-09-28 23:23:01 ET

No, it is rather sexy.

2002-09-28 23:29:06 ET

Yes, I think so too.

2002-09-29 15:35:41 ET


2002-09-29 16:42:16 ET


2002-09-29 16:45:06 ET


2002-09-29 16:50:39 ET


2002-09-29 16:55:18 ET

Oh you like it.



2002-09-29 16:56:56 ET

*runs away screaming*

2002-09-29 16:58:43 ET

Don't run away!

I brought snacks!

2002-09-29 17:23:44 ET

Zombie snacks?

Freeze-dried brains?

2002-09-29 17:29:03 ET is human brain pate [[insert accent]] on wheat thins. I am on a diet.

2002-09-29 17:31:20 ET

Jeez, can I just have some wheat thins?

2002-09-29 17:47:57 ET

Do not resort to knocking without trying.

2002-09-29 18:17:14 ET

Okay, I suppose I'll try it.

2002-09-29 18:27:05 ET

Yes, yes....TRY IT! A LOT of it! Would you like MORE?

2002-09-29 18:28:57 ET

Nah, I'm not that hungry. You eat up, though... whatever keeps you away from my brain.

2002-09-30 04:18:37 ET

YAY FOR BRAINS. This reminds me of a cute little cartoon...

2002-09-30 04:24:27 ET


That was great!

2002-09-30 04:25:12 ET

I wasn't trying to smell your spicy brains.

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