Once again it is here
2002-10-01 19:20:36 ET

The feeling is back again, and as always it seems never fading. The nothing growing larger by the moment. Every moment seems to be less meaningful than the last. It seems so hard to even find meaning inside me.
I wonder sometimes if it will last forever. Although I feel this way, it will eventually fade, but to return much worse than it was before. I wonder why? Why is a question many ask, but few find the answers. I dont understand life, but at the same time I know what life is.
I know that life is trivial and it will always be like that, but I want something to fulfill me. Something to plug up the emptiness the nothing forever. So far in life this has not seem to come for me, just temporary fixes, the nothing out lasts the something. And yet it seems it will always be that way, but I know it will fade, return, fade, and so on. So I am being mildly redundant as I am quite a bit. I will go on and so will the abyss of my nothing/emptiness, and maybe someday, the someone or something will fill the chasm forever.

2002-10-01 19:30:25 ET

i feel ya on that one.

2002-10-01 19:30:37 ET

thank you..

2002-10-01 19:57:44 ET

God fills up quite a bit of that hole for me, but there seems to be a bit more to the hole. somethin is missing.

2002-10-02 06:15:19 ET

yeah.. thats how i feel.. alot.. something is missing..

2002-10-02 12:34:45 ET

I think of it this way...there wouldn't be a hole there if God didn't intend on filling it. I just know that in time you will find peace.

2002-10-02 12:44:57 ET

thank you so much.. really thank you.. it makes mehappy that you care..
and i know God will someday allow me to fill the hole..

2002-10-02 12:48:37 ET

If I can make you happy, than I am glad :)

2002-10-02 12:49:24 ET


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