2003-08-11 11:26:57 ET

So unfortunate how I have the tendency to get lazy when I get involved in an intimate relationship. I'm trying to fight that laziness. I'm not smoking cigerettes and I'm saving for a bike. And I'm trying everyday to focus and evaluate a path for myself, in terms of a 'career' or educational plan or whatever.

I think I want to take somesort of career development course. I need evaluation. I need help understanding what would be the best path for me. I'm getting tired of floating, of wasting my time and my energy, know what I mean? It's so foreign to me to think like an adult, but I must train myself to see things differently, and not just through the eyes of a child. I need to see thing simultaneaously, as that of a child and that of an adult. I cannot foresake one for the other.

But yeah, if this relationship is to survive any length of time, I must discipline myself with continual procreation and physical activity, for any stagnation will result in a swift death. In a relationship, the stakes are higher. Mistakes can be fatal. There is a danger element that accomodates intimacy, and that element must be dealt with carefully.

What I need to do is stop drinking. It's funny how intuitive temptation is. You always find it where you most expect. Temptation always makes it's presence obviously known and available, especially when you try to avoid it. Take my affliction with alcohol for instance. I tell myself that I'm not going to buy any alcohol and WALLA! Tons of friends with tons of free liquor! Same thing with cigerettes...try to quit and WALLA! All the free cigerettes you want, raining down from the sky! I think it's interesting the magnetism of temptation, a force that makes you realize just how powerful your psychic waves really are, how influential they can be.

My friends are in my town to see Bjork tonight at the Hollywood Bowl. I'm not going...and that's okay. I've seen Bjork a couple times. She's dope as fuck. Yeah yeah.

God, everything is loud today. I want quiet. No peace until death.

All y'all have a good day.

Here's some Japanese art that I'm into right now...

This is Vivienne Sato. Her shit is so clean. Her style reminds me of Beardsley

Here's a Beardsley pic, for comparison:

...and here's another neat graphic, Katmekat:

2003-08-11 12:44:15 ET

wow. that's amazing. all of them

2003-08-12 23:01:52 ET

I became lazy after I settled in to my relationship....then I became FAT, hahaha.
But I understand what you are saying, and you are right: relationships not only take disipline of the mind, but disipline of the body. Someone else truely cares about you deeply now and RELIES on your health and well-being. The best thing to do is activities together, because I swear there is always a surprise about the pther person even if you've known them for years. Also, TRAVEL is paramount. That's my super highlighted opinion. I'm glad things are working out so well for you and your girlfriend. When is there going to be a picture of her up in this piece?
Oh, and I totally dig what you are saying about trying to quit something and then suddently the Snake in the Garden of Eden throws all kinds of free shit at you. Bastards! :)

2003-08-13 08:50:13 ET

Speaking of Eden...me and my friend just got done discussing the way in which 'woman' are totally frauded and blamed and resented within all of the bible. It's terrible how male-oriented this whole Western thought system is. Modern-day conservative fucks like to compare Islam to Christianity with its 'inhumane' treatment of women. I mean, fuck, those Islamic peeps got their women covered from head to toe...shit, fuck that. We Christians like to keep those tits within full-visability, as well as dat azz!

I hate the idea of woman being the center of all evil. I hate the idea of 'woman' being the center of all deviant temptation. It's as though this lusting for this 'woman' figure/icon/diety(?) are the root of all of our misgivings, our misfortunes, our downfall. And by 'our,' I mean to include every single individual on the planet Earth.

Danny, right now I'm delerious off of zero-sleep, so I'm just going to refer to you as 'baby.' Baby, there's a long wayz to go. There's a lot of heads that need to be corrected. There's a lot of men out there that need to re-evaluate their entire sexual perspective, their so-called 'sexual-identity.'

People always try to play what I say as some type of self-help digression that leads to more confusion. I'm here trying to tell my boys - MY BOYS!!! - you know baby...like, my main men. I'm trying to get them to analyze the way in which they perceive women. I'm trying to get them to come to terms with the FACT that 99.999% of the men of the world think with A RAPIST MIND.

No, I'm not talking shit. The way in which men see women is nothing short of rapist instinct and desire. EVERY WOMAN THAT A MAN SEES IS GAME in his mind. All the way from drop-dead georgous to 'she'll do the trick,' men are always seeing women as FUCK-OBJECTS. This is not a lie AND THIS IS FAR FROM AN EXAGERATION.

I'm scared baby. I'm very scared. The world is violent. Life is brutal carnality. The greatest assault is against women. And in their eyes, the greatest assaultant is FEMININE NATURE.

If I had the capability, I'd tear their (mens) fucking eyes out. I'd blind all of man-kind. Keep the balls and dick, sure...but gouge the eyes.

Oh how misled everything is Baby.
Oh how confusing things may appear.
Oh how confusing things really are.

Oh how so much pain controls so many peoples' lives.

So what should I do Baby...okay, sorry....what should I do Danny? You know how I feel. What do you think I should do? 'Cause I can't stop. This shit needs to be exposed for what it is, intelligently, logically, meaningfully, know what I'm sayin? I know you do Baby...I know you do.

Okay, so, like, that's the last time I refer to Dan Pratt as 'Baby.' I just need to add here that, yo, DAN...YOU ARE THE PRIMARY REASON I STAY ON THIS SITE. (I'm not trying to proclaim some internet-marriage proposal shit...you know this)

No, for real, I know that I just totally ranted here, and I know that you get what I'm saying...and I whole-heartedly appreciate that. I really dig you. We connect, and I appreciate.

So yeah, sorry to get kinda mushy, but yo, I really enjoy you.

Okay...so yeah....xanax is kicking in. Peace Baby.

(oh yeah...never been a big Radiohead fan, but this new album is fucking hittin' it!)

2003-08-13 11:03:35 ET

I think my Melt-o-meter just burst that muthafuckin mercury through the rizzoof! I've been reduced to a puddle!
Man o man; how can I respond to that? Much like peeing in your pants, YOU ARE THE COOLEST! But seriously...I am extremely flattered/honored/touched and though I have always thought it to be nerdy to form relationships via a synthetic interface such as a computer...well shit, call me a nerd because I consider you MY FRIEND! Mushy is awesome, sweet talk is awesome, it's all awesome. You are a huge reason I use sk.net :D
Why can't their be hugs up in this bizznatch?!? They've got to invent synthetic hugs. Actually, they probabley have, haven't they? Along with synthetic blow jobs. Hahahaa; sickos.

We need to talk is the bottom line here, Senor Shizznizzle. You'e brought up MAD topic. I suppose I could go on here on your page and engraciate everyone with my wise opinions, ha ha.
I 100% agree with your assesment of men. I think that I have probably told you that like every single time you have brought it up. The fact that YOU as a man can and do address this not only confirms the deductions I have made on my own, but causes even MORE distress to this knowledge because it's probabley TRUER THAN I KNOW!
Or I should say 'more true" since 'truer' isn't really a word...but then again, can I spell? Do I use correct grammer? Can it be proven that English is in fact my first language by reading the crap I write? SO fuck it, man! TRUER!

So then, the question you have posed to myself is: how can change be brought about?
I think the way American society has addressed the issue of women in the modern world has caused a few varying outcomes:
1. minimal progress in a positive direction
2. made feminism a joke/farce not to be taken seriously
3. equated women's issues with militant, anti-male sentiment
4. has enabled certain groups in power to use inconsequential and ineffectual minor consessions that they have given to women as a group as 'evidence' of their support of equality between the sexes
5. has caused the media, which is owned by all these male dominated corperations wanting to keep their power balance the way it damn well is, to manipulate information to continuously keep the issue ridiculous enough to stay at bay

I think it is negligent for anyone and everyone to think, or worse, believe, that the feminist movment started back in the 1920's with women's sufferage has progressed much beyond basic consessions of letting us vote, own property, and get divorces.
(I know women have more rights that that, so anyone who wants to get uppity about it can back da fuck up!)

ALL that being said, it would seem to me that, thusly, the change needs to come from the outside in. Heterosexual men need to want to change because they feel the change around them. It's a rarety that people change deeply rooted socialized behaviors because they 'realize how wrong those behaviors are' on their own. It's also not going to do any good to hear it coming from a woman, when it comes down to it. A dude knows that a woman has interests invested. What hetero guys don't realize is....


If men cut that 'rapist mentality' shit out, MAN, can you imagine the change that would occur? World wide change!

But for real, the change would have to come from the outside in. Dudes are going to have to educate other dudes. Somehow, Senor Daniel, you were bestowed with the precious gift of the mind that you have. I think, no wait, I KNOW you are the second hetero man I ever ever known to feel and realize the things you do about the relationship between men and women.
But this is the way the evoluditory process works! Evolution happens in pockets, in small cells, and these cells grow with the right procreation and guidence.
So the bottom line is man, besides teaching your bro's a thing or two....you've gots to be havin' some male chiluns.
But seriously. Even thinking about it, writing about it, talking about it...shows that things are going in the right direction. If you can get even one of your dudes to really get what you are saying and feel it too, than you have done splendedly. There is only so much you can do to change a social norm that crosses almost every single intercontinental boundry, every religon, every social construction. That fact that you are doing anything is peaches.

Oh, and PS: Can you and your chica come move out to NYC, because for real, I wish we could chill in real life. Fuckin' geography; it keeps me down just like the MAN. I think geography and the man are in cahoots.

Calling me baby is all good as long as I can call you Daddy-o.

You know what? I just watched Rebel Without a Cause. Every dude should be like James Dean in that movie. In fact, every dude should be James Dean.

Sweet dreams, Mr. Daniel DeFunkt. Sweet dreams everybody. Sweeeeeeet Dreeeeeams, Babe-ah! (Roy Orbison was NOT attractive, but his voice sure as the dickens was).

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