2003-10-08 15:16:47 ET

Nice day.

I've been doin' my thang, traveling the streets of the LBC, checkin' shit out. I got to the top of this one hotel and digested some high-elevation for a bit. I found a tiny record store with gobs and blobs of records (I bought a used Joy Division CD). I also found the coolest art supply store I've ever seen. They have 3H pencils...I love 3H pencils.

Long Beach is so nice. I bought a Neitchze book called "Antichrist," as well as a copy of "the Communist Manifesto." "Antichrist" is really intense. It's a straight assault on Christianity, and on philosphy as a whole. It's such an unrelenting book. There's lines that I love, such as:

"What is there that destroys a man more speedily than to work, think, feel, as an automaton of 'duty,' without internal promptings, without a profound personal predilection, without joy? This is the recipe par excelence of decadence and even idiocy"

Pretty neat there FRED!

I worked at a food bank yesterday. I've discovered that I want to pursue getting a degree in social work. It makes perfect sense to me. I've been in quite a debacle over what I want to pursue in education, but working at the food bank cleared that up. So I feel really positive about that aspect of my life. I'm happy because this is something that I can start on immediately, by means of charity work. I can gain experience while I help others. Beautiful.

As for the household...it's getting better, in really fucked up kinda ways. It's cool 'cause I get to sleep in Alison's room all alone and comfortable. While she's away taking slumber in places that I totally don't wanna know about, I'm all cozy, dreaming of beautiful things. Sure, it's a bit depressing at times to be kickin' it alone in your ex-girlfriends' bed while she's out all night doing her thang, but let's be objective here: Her bed's comfy, and I don't have to sleep on the floor.

That's really how I'm trying to look at everything that's going on right now, and it's really benefitting me. It's hard as fuck, but I'm determined to not let this thing hurt me, but help me.

Alison seems to respond to me with utter annoyance or apathy and it really makes me upset. And I think I'm the only person that she treats this way. Like, 'what the fuck? Why me? What the fuck did I do to you that's so bad that you talk to me like I'm a pestering child?'

I don't understand and I wish we could talk about it, but that seems impossible.

Whatever. I'm trying to get out a lot. Let my eyes feast and my mind relax, ya know? Trying to maintain positivity. I'm gonna get through this shit just fine.

The end.

COMING NEXT POST! Just when Daniel least expected, he finds true love...Coffee and cigerettes! ALSO, don't miss when Daniel goes out on Saturday and gets a little too tipsy at a show/bar/club. Will he score the digits? Or will he be carted off to a nice night in jail? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

2003-10-08 15:36:41 ET

New/ old pictures are just too cute.

2003-10-09 08:56:49 ET

That quote is ill; I love when philosophers just tell people in so many words to go fuck they all selves, hahaha.
That's really awesome that you have foudn something you enjoy doing. I also think that the world of social work is in desperate need of intellegent, creative minds, so you would be an asset to the practicwe if that's what you choose to pursue.
I can't believe that you are takign the situation with living with your ex-girlfriend so well. If I was in the position you were in, all things considered, I would be an emotional basketcase. I am not strong enough emotionally for situations like that. I think that is very admirable, your optimism.

2003-10-09 18:22:08 ET

I AM an emotional basket-case. The solution is, of course, to make your 'emotional basket-case' lifestyle a covert operation. I'm confettiti mixed with salsa right now. Or, the metaphor my friend is fond of (and invented), "like a slice of onion in an easter-egg basket."

(I just wanna scream this statement!): "Arrr...confer what you will from me maniacal, "basket-case" lifestyle! Ay Am Wut I Am!"

I'm taking it as patiently as I can possibly handle. It's like a tunnel, when you reach the very middle and it's dark as fuck and you can only see two things: the beginning and the end. I'm getting the fuck out and I'm not turning around to do so, know what I mean?

Whatever. Blah. Pant. *cough*. Shyte.

2003-10-10 00:29:20 ET

Holy criminy. I love Neitchze. I think everyone should read at least a small amount of what he wrote. Even if one completely disagrees with him, I think there's alot to be learned from how he organizes rational points without compromising literary value.

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