A brief history of time (in Daniel's inkblot existence)

De Funkt 2003-12-09 19:46:44 ET I signed up for college classes today here in Long Beach and the total price was FUCKING OUTRAGOUS: 15 BUCKS! Oh wait, you thought I meant 'fucking outragous' in an angry kind of way, right? You're way too presumptious. You need to work on that. So I don't know who the fuck is payin' for these classes but here they are: Cultural Anthropology, Philosophy, and Intrapersonal speech. I'm taking the speech class so I can work on my smooth talk with the ladies. I'm on the list for a Psychology class. If that don't work, I got some other alternatives. I'M TOTALLY BLOATED WITH EXCITMENT! Thanksgiving was bomb-as-fuck. I went to my hometown. However, I didn't see my parents. I couldn't. I had to stay with my friends. We was just too damn close to seperate. We had this huge party at Josh's house the night before Thanksgiving and it went off like blahhhh! And it just didn't stop. IT COULDN'T STOP! It had to last as long as as possible, 'cause that's how fucking fresh that shit was. I didn't realize how much I miss all these kids. I actually felt sad to leave. I miss my friends so much. I want them to live with me, ALL OF THEM! I was totally rejuvinated after that visit. Like, it washed all this bullshit that I had in my mental-intestines away like a love-laxative, know what I'm sayin? So yeah, good shit's been happening. I went to work the other day on 45 MINUTES OF SLEEP. Can you believe that shit? And it was a fucking wonderful day! I sold, like, over $1100 worth of framing. It was like one of those days where you're so fucking delirious that you just say 'fuck it' and be the nicest, brightest, smiley person to everyone. Ever had one of those occasions? Two Rockstar drinks, a couple Cliff bars, a pack of cigerettes, and yet another energy drink later in the day is all you need kids!!! TRY IT TODAY...or TOMMOROW! TRUST ME, IT BEATS METH ANYDAY!!! Now all I need is a purty little lady-friend. Actually, this one girl I've known for a long time admitted to me that she has had feelings for me for a long time. I was like "What? Hang on and let me flush out my wax-infested ears with some Clorox." No, it was just like not expected at all. And she just moved to Long Beach. I really don't understand. I mean, it's flattering, but more suprising and unsuspecting than anything else. So, I don't know. She kissed my eyelids and that was nice. I can always use a little kiss to the eyelids. WHATEVER DUDE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DANCE! Oh, and P.S. -I'm not drunk right now! Oh wait no, and P.S. -I got a fucking beard right now! Yay!

MarikoDeVille 2003-12-11 09:57:22 ET boo! my classes were $18/unit. Total for my full time spring schedule: $249... I died. I'm jealous.

pseudo kiss 2003-12-11 19:27:33 ET i can imagine you saying these things to me on the phone. and i miss you. and all that stuff. so i shall call. SOON.

DanPratt 2003-12-12 03:52:09 ET Wooooooooow...your classes are OFFENSIVLEY cheap....I am at the height of jealousy. Those will be fun classes too, and IN FACTO, if you ever need help in anthropology, you can ask ME (I minored in anthropology). I'm glad the Giving of Thanks was so illin'; were your parents pissed you didn't come home? Like, it washed all this bullshit that I had in my mental-intestines away like a love-laxative, know what I'm sayin? Hahahaha, dude---you're so poetic Things sound good all around! I think having winters that are still primarily warm and sunny will do that to a person. I mangaed to shirk off that opporitunity like a dumbass. I'm actually going to NYC to night for the weekend to find a place to live and it is COLD there, grrrrr. hey, do you have an Abe Lincoln beard? Now that would be awesome.

De Funkt 2003-12-12 19:54:36 ET Okay, so to further offend all y'allz with my unexpected good fortune, check this out: I went to the college the next day after writing this post to see who's paying for my tuition, and it turns out that by applying and qualifying for financial aid, I automatically got a Board of Govorners fee waiver. Whatever. But then the guy went on to tell me that I can be expecting a check for $595 by January 5, and two more checks for about $250 for the next two months after that. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? That's rent. That's food. Okay, so, like, I've run into many financial blessings in the past and I've fucked every oppourtunity up by partying with all my money. Namely the time when I received $11,000 from a really bad car accident I was in where I should've died (side impacted on route 66 - I was coming down off of drugs at the time - long story). What did a 18-year-old Daniel do with all those thousands of dollars? Squandered it all! I went to raves every single weekend and did a lot of exstacy. I can't say I fully regret doing that, 'cause I had some of the best times a kid could have, but seriously, like, burning up $11,000 in a time period of half a year is not a very bright thing to do. Damn good year though. 1998 was bomb-as-fuck. Anyways. So yeah, me and money got a really horny thang goin on with each other, but it's just sex, no love, and at the end of the day, I feel famished and empty. Anyways, getting back to the beard...STRAIGHT-UP LINCOLN STEEZE!!! I'm gonna get a pic as soon as I have a moment alone (I'm always embarrased to take pictures of myself). Life with a beard is so fucking dope! Jessica, when the hell are you gonna come down to Southern California? When you come down, you wanna go on a date??? =D You guys are great.

antony green 2003-12-12 22:46:18 ET I always love your drawings. I always love your posts. Your neverending happy stories...ah. I wish I can have some grant and waive all the tuitions away and meet people and do crazy shit or do crazy nothing or anything but this routine. But I don't want to drink and I don't want to do drugs, so party scenes only make me sick. When people talk about stupid things they do when they're drunk they feel belonging. But when I talk to people about stupid things I do when I'm NOT drunk people think I am a freak. So what should I do now. I ramble. And I envy upon your large life.

pseudo kiss 2003-12-13 09:30:32 ET DANIEEEEEL. im going to L to the iz A on the 22-23ish. it depends when my mom gets off from work and we're driving down to spend time with my family.

SlowMotionRiot85 2003-12-13 20:25:11 ET i need to learn the loopholes of loans and scholarships so i dont get assraped by my college fees, fucking new pres of FAU raising tuition now w/out telling the students...why the fuck do we need some new asshole prez anyways? all we really need are some good teachers and a better cafeteria that actually cooks the meat products

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