CARE TO WATCH SOME PAINT DRY? (if yes, read ahead!)
2004-01-30 12:52:38 ET

My life is nice right now. I can't complain 'bout shit, which makes for a TERRIBLY BORING entry. It'd be a better idea to go and douse a sock with rubbing alcohol, then put it in a bag and huff that shit.

Has anyone here ever huffed chemicals? I certainly have. Jeez-Louise, have I ever! Actually, if there's one activity that I've partaken in that I wish I could un-partake in, it would be that of huffing spray paint. I used to do that shit a lot when I was younger. I think half of my brain is gone as a result, not to mention my liver and those pesky little kidneys. Woo-hoo!

I've done too many drugs. I'm gonna die a horrible death. Cool thing is that I'm never gonna fully realize this fact until it hits me. So, you know, it's kinda like credit: I get all this time to do whatever the fuck I want until my life-credit runs up, THEN I HAVE TO PAY A DEAR DEAR PRICE!!! You think I give a shit? For fuck's sake, I'm an AMERICAN, BITCH!


That was actually pulled from a quote I like from Yeats (or is it Keats?) that says something like "Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all ye know and all ye needs to know."

Peace to all of you.

(I'd like to give a big shout out to anyone who decided to read this far. You are the only reason that I'm alive today. Thank you for sustaining my life.)

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-01-30 14:17:12 ET

if you died because of an OD i would cry!

2004-01-31 10:39:07 ET

I'd like to give a big shout out to anyone who decided to read this far. You are the only reason that I'm alive today. Thank you for sustaining my life
Is that like clapping for the life of fallen faeries in Peter Pan?

2004-01-31 12:54:57 ET

well i think yous hould thank me. i read that part silly!

2004-01-31 16:12:01 ET

Jessica, thank you. I appreciate all that you've done for my life. Without your support, I wouldn't be alive today.

And hey, I mean that. I mean that in a broad type of way. We take other people as a type of commodity, especially 'friends.' Friends are there, more so than anything, to verify that you are alive, you are real, and you are worthy of love. But so often do I hear that "my friend fucked me over blah blah blah" or "my friend is such a bitch because blah blah blah." I think we all (me included) have a bad tendency to forget that, in reality, our friends are an intrigal part of our life force. Friends look at your personal perspective of things and dig it, like it, appreciate it, and maybe even believe it (god-forbid). That type of interaction is the source of strength and vitality. That type of interaction is the source of love.

Okay, this is getting a bit cheesy, but nevertheless, I rever this type of talk as being 'true.' I'm always on the assault of "I DON'T NEED NOBODY TO TELL ME SHIT, OR TO HOLD MY HAND! I'M 100% SELF-SUFFICIENT!!!" But that's not true, and everyone knows it. Therefore, I think it's safe to say that your friends control, at large, part of your life-force. Yo, you CAN survive alone. You CAN live your entire life as a self-hating reject of everything, but what-the-fuck? I don't consider that state of existence a state of being 'alive.'

So this does give meaning to the old cliche "choose your friends wisely" because that's fucking good advice right thurr.

I get hella-attitude. My attitude gets really fucking stuck-up at times. But nevertheless, I'm not about to say that I can live without my friends.

Let the faries play!

2004-02-01 15:45:35 ET

well, you did need the drugs and you did live the drugs. So it dosen't matter now, it brought you a lot of groupies to hang out with today...with its effect as affective as holding a beer and dancing in clubs to start talkign to random strangers.

2004-02-01 16:00:21 ET

each friend brings something. even if it is small. and you have helped me out in the past and oepned my eyes. so i thank you for that.

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