2004-02-04 15:43:09 ET

Okay, this will be the last substance-related post for a while, I promise! I can't help it though...I think this shit is funny-as-hell!

"I once e-mailed Philadelphia’s world-famous Franklin Institute offering my enlarged liver as a companion exhibit to their walk-through heart. I’ve prayed for snow to contain alcohol. Once during a fight, I yelled, “Not the liver!” Sometimes I get drunk and vote Republican."

'You know you're a drunkard when...'

-You don’t like to think of it as blacking out. You prefer to think of it as exercising the lizard brain.

-You don’t mind when your wife finds you stinking drunk in a bar, because then you can hit her up for a free drink.

-You hold a bottle of hair spray and say, "Man, if you were ice cold."

-You wonder why people need friends when you can just sit in a room and drink all day.

-You once got so drunk you dreamed you got fired and broke up with your girlfriend — and it all came true!

-The only drinking problem you have is the two-hands/one-mouth thing.

2004-02-05 06:19:45 ET

You once got so drunk you dreamed you got fired and broke up with your girlfriend — and it all came true!
Hahahaha; that one is my favorite. It reminds me, in fact, of last night: I just started at a new school, so I'm makin' new friends (keepin the old...one is silver and the uhthah GOLD) and this girl named Mindy and I went to this book promo gala thing at this swank hotel in the lower east side. Needless to say, we took full advantage of the free beverages and treats. As we were walking down the street to go home later on in the night, I vaugley remember saying, "Doesn't this version of today feel like a completely different today than the one earlier?"
Not worthy of being published in a scholarly journal, but none the less, more musings on the dream-like state of drunkeness.

PS The picture of that guy with GRave's Disease eyes is really scarey.
PPS I find the use of stuffed/blow up animals as a common thread in your photo gallery to represent your emotional states to be sublimely poetic ;) heheheheh

  Return to De Funkt's page