2005-05-03 14:07:18 ET|
I almost got in a fight this last saturday. The kid was lucky that I walked away and didn't punch his midget-ass in the face.
Basically, I happened to say something that he found offensive. I apologized excessively, repeatedly telling him that I didn't mean to offend him and that I'm an asshole for doing so, but he wouldn't drop it. I mean, there I was, talking to 3 fine-ass girls, making them laugh and having a good time. He comes and sits on the same couch as these 3 girls. The kid's name is GERM and he makes art that I kinda respect (stencil art is something that I have a very hard time accepting, though his style has some innovative techniques), so I didn't mind at all his sitting down to join in the conversation. Then, in my discourse, I happened to say something blatantly offensive about jewish people. I intended the statement to be so outrages that it couldn't possibly be my honest opinion. He didn't catch that, and told me that I needed to leave his area. He didn't live there, and I was there first. But I didn't want to offend him, and I haven't a drop of anti-semitism in me, so I tried my best to take-back what I said and apologize. But he wouldn't drop it. I mean, to the point where it got rediculous on his end. I realized that he was actually trying to humiliate me in front of these attractive females (who I was doing very well with) and in the process cock-block as it were. So I was like "what? You wanna fucking do something?" And he was still maintaining his holier-than-thou stance. By this point, I was raising my voice and calling too much attention to myself. So, instead of making the scene worse, I bid my ado and paid compliments to the party organizers, who very-much urged me to stay, and walked home, alone.
I was on the path to making many new friends, but instead left of behalf of some cock-blocking motherfucker who couldn't let something insignificant go due to his Napolean-complex and his sensitive yet over-sized ego. Oh well. There will be more parties. And I don't need to fight. Fighting is stupid, especially when I'm fully confident and ready to beat the shit out of you.
I'm going through a hard time right now in my life. That is all. Sometimes the waves beat the shore hard and erratic. You just gotta stay tough and swim harder. I just feel like the old man and the sea, without a compass and without an orr.
I want to hold someone while going to bed tonight. I feel very lonely, though I've made more friends this last month than I have in years. Oh well.