Not like a virgin
2003-02-28 19:45:58 ET

I started questioning how 'valuable' such a thing as virginity 'really' is. I'm really undecided. I 'was' decided in my personal destruction of virginity. I wanted to obliterate virginity completely. However, I like the idea of being the type of person who would cherish virginity. To be able to cross-over in thought like that.

There's a song that has a fucking dumb-ass truth about it. The song I speak of is that Information Society song that goes, like, "I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN'T HIDE! I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FEELING! TELL ME WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND!"

I'm totally not down with that shit, but I'm kinda down with the deeper concept within. (I want to insert a little echo-delay-effect right here) WHOA DUDE...

2003-02-28 19:59:36 ET

the whole thing about virginity is not that its something you have. its more like the ability to give yourself completely to one person.

2003-02-28 20:13:44 ET

I personally think the whole concept of one's virginity is slightly an archaic ‘Western’ belief. But not in the sense of waiting for the ‘one’ person to share your life with for eternity. More as in a romantic sense, of innocence. Society seems to pride one’s virginity as right of passage. In a sense loosing some of those childhood thoughts to become one with an ‘adult society’. And rightfully I’ve seen that take place among many friends over the years. Wouldn’t really categorize it has becoming more corrupt. Think I’d take it to the level of finding more about yourself, finding things about your body and mind that can only take place from another persons interactions. Quite possibly a gigantic change in one’s prospective into what ‘reality’ is. And whether good or bad, has a huge precedence to how change will be based from then on out. It is something to hold out, to make sure your ready to take on these changes and it really sickens me at times, hearing how much younger people are having sex. Not for the hedonistic qualities, think everyone should bathe in them at least once in they’re life, but from the challenge they start facing at a younger age and the responsibilities they take into themselves.

2003-02-28 20:58:04 ET

virginity is one of those things that you don't truly cherish until it is gone. I remember meeting guys my freshmen year of college and they would be in awe by the fact that i was still a virgin at the ripe old age of 18. for the life of me i couldn't figure out why until i was no longer a virgin.

2003-03-03 04:42:47 ET

I agree with Sytheticdream; I believe the socialized norm concept of "virginity" to be an archaic one. As far as it goes for the individula with regard to feelings about onesself, I think being a virgin just keeps you away from certain realities of life that are easier to ignore....I honestly feel this way. Almost all the sex I've ever had has been because of love....99.9% of it. I still feel, however, that after one has sex, it's as if a dorment part of ones brain becomes opened. I sort of think as sex as poison in a weird way. It changes perspective a great deal, at least it did for me....and like I said, 99.9% from love, including the first time.

2003-03-03 10:52:47 ET

Thanks for the awesome entries. It's interesting to hear these perspectives, especially the general idea of virginity being this archaic rite of passage.

Seems as though 'rites of passages' are evaporating as culture in America continues to assimilate into one heap of shit. That's a HUGE over-generalization coming from an individual who has never personally experienced a cultural 'rite of passage.' Still, with the American death of religion, I don't know how this wouldn't be the case.

It's as though you're a child and you have to first find a way to purchase the crayons before you start to color your world. This process of searching dictates your direction in life. If you succeed in buying crayons, the next and ultimate challenge is to color your world how you see fit.

Is this a totally dumb analogy? Probably. Teehee...oh well. Peace to all of you.

2003-03-03 11:06:29 ET

No; I liked that analogy very much :-D
So, I don't mean to sound thick headed, because I wasn't sure if this was just a wandering thought turned into question by yourself or you are discussing issues within yourself...are you a virgin?

2003-03-03 11:32:38 ET

I'm not a virgin. I haven't been for several years. The details to all that are interesting, but probably not appropriate for...wait, what am I talking about "appropriate?" Funk dat. first kinky experiences were with boys, which is something totally not-uncommon, though you'd be hard pressed to get it out of most guys. Then the big whatever happened when I was 14 years old (with a very beautiful girl).

I guess my issues are still this whole 'rite of passage' idea, or cultural traditions, or standards or whatever. I've never gotten along with these things, not because I'm opposed to them, but because they've never been formally introduced or encouraged in my life. Nevertheless, I think cultural perspectives are very interesting as well as enlightening.

2003-03-03 11:42:12 ET

Ahhhh, I understand now....oh, and totaly off-topic, I was in a comic book store yesterday and I saw the drunk duck toy you have as your icon and I thought of you! :-D

2003-03-03 21:12:07 ET

Awww...that's really sweet. I fucking love MAAKIES!

Okay, I need to do some math homework, but before I drink a beer.

2003-03-04 12:12:44 ET

To add on to this concept:
The whole virginity thing is overrated by this culture.
Now that I've lost it, I realized I went through so much that was so unecessary.

2003-03-04 14:32:30 ET

What it is i think is that you were supposed to save your virginity for your spouse just because it was the most presious gift you could give them but in our society we kinda lost the focus on the marriage thing and kept the virginity thing out of tradition.
I was one of those people that was saving myself for my spouse not because of other peoples influence on me but just because i wanted my husband to know he was the only person that experienced sex with me, well when i was 18 i got raped and i didnt have the choice of who i lost my virginity to. and at that point i think i valued my virginity the most i have ever valued anything.

2003-03-05 12:09:01 ET

It would scare me to be with a virgin. I don't want to be 'the one.' I also don't think it's healthy to be so closed in like that. Devoted and dedicated in this sense almost seems synonomous with being obsessed. I need independence, both in myself and whoever I may be with. I need to experience more than one person for perspective.

I can't stand one or two sided views. I need something more like a prism. This is not to say that I'm a total slut all the time, or that I couldn't conceive being monogomous with someone...nothing like that. Just that if I hadn't gone through what I have, my scope would be considerably narrow.

Still, one thing that conflicts with what I'm saying is my apprehension of 'falling' in love. It's not really a frontal-lobe idea that I put in effect, but more a subtle emotional wave that pervades much of how I view things. A little while ago I was filming life in video and now it's 8mm or something like that...less definition but richer color. Perhaps that makes sense....I can't tell.

2003-03-05 15:37:15 ET

just because a girl is a virgin doesnt mean shes automatically gonna worship you cause she lost it to you it just means she saw something in you that she felt she could trust you.

2003-03-05 17:49:14 ET

I know...and that's scary! A HAR HAR HAR! A (fuckin') HAR HAR HAR! (once again, that was a pirate laugh)

2003-03-05 19:25:19 ET

lol..funny that was the same reason a friend gave me when i wanted to sleep with this one guy who was a virgin. although his reasoning was more like you'll fuck with his head and mess him up for life.

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