2003-03-24 15:54:50 ET|
I found a note I made to myself a while back and it said "learn to enjoy the delerium of sobriety." I need to heed this advice I made to myself.
Got nice and drunk last night with Erika and Josh and this kid Albert down in Venice beach. We drank a lot of Bacardi, then moved on to the Southern Comfort. I hardely remember anything, except that Erika slept with me and that was very nice. 'Slept' meaning sleep. Actually, 'slept' meaning comatose near-death. I love to hold a human when I dream, especially humans that I love. I think that's amongst the best things in life.
I'm trying to commit to dealing with humans as humans and not as objects. Gender is one thing, but treating someone differently because they happen to be female and beautiful is crap because you don't even know who the fuck they are. Getting these ideas and feelings of lust and what-not is pointless imagining. It's a waste of brain power. People get so excited off of appearance. Others depend upon appearance. That's as far as it goes. Nothing really happens. No real communication. I want connection to you, and if I can't connect, then that's okay. Know what I'm sayin?
Peace. I love you.