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Devotchka6o1 |
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My name is Jaquelynn Ray i'm a 24 year old gemini. I live in Desert Hot Springs, CA near Palm Springs. I play the guitar... I Love Drawing blood and giving shots.
Code 13, DS 13, Void, The Scam, The Faith, The Growlers, Black Lips, Circulatory System, Beach House, Christian Death, Joy Division, Lords of the New Church, The Animals, Interpol, The Arcade Fire, The Pixies, Behind Enemy Lines, Naked Aggression, Meet the Virus, Anti Schism, Anti Product, Bread and Water, Thulsa Doom... Bright eyes, The Faint, Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Smiths...
Mark Ryden
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| Yeah! 2011-06-15 16:37:56 ET |
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I'm going to Gnarmageddon this weekend at the Glass House in pomona, JFA! Agent Orange, Ill Repute... I'm so excited... My boyfriend played with Agent Orange last weekend and they said we could go backstage... doubt it though. Anyway... it'll be fun.
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| A Free Show 2010-07-28 22:03:46 ET |
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| 2010-04-02 15:52:20 ET |
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a revolting nauseating feeling came to me when i thought of what you did. the one thing that could hurt me the most and you want to pretend you care about me, saying you felt the same way for me as i did for you. Liar is all i see beaming brightly from your forehead. You did make me see you in this light, on a pedestal like you stood for something. What a hypocrite you've become all of a sudden. You're such a prude or that's just what you want people to believe. you know your garbage, you just want to make people see your worthy of anything. I know for a fact you don't know who you are, what you want or what you stand for. you are the epitome of what a yuppy is.
Oh, but you are only human. Right?
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| you'll be fine 2010-02-19 04:54:04 ET |
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i was intoxicated and saw a girl storm off upset... so i say "stop acting like a bitch" or "don't be such a bitch" (ok, i was drunk) uh... i was joking and for some reason i thought it would lighten up the mood... she gave me a really hurt face and i then realized i shouldn't try to make a joke with someone i don't really know that well... i thought we had reached that point though... i didn't mean to make her feel bad... well, what can you do?
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| Why make the same Mistakes 2010-01-26 18:25:32 ET |
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I don't know why i try to get involved with men. I had forgotten how caring for someone really hurts, its a very heavy chest pain that i don't miss at all. I feel kind of stupid for even setting myself up for this... really they are all basically a set up... i can fall back on lust when i have learned to wait for love. I haven't learned to wait yet... i need a slap on the wrist.
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| i am back 2010-01-25 00:04:02 ET |
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Sitting here watching Superbad on t.v.
I have been trying to clean up the mess that was created over the last 3 years... it's taking a while but i'm finally getting somewhere. I have a nice vehicle(Volkswagen Jetta)I have a nice paying job(Planned Parenthood). I am living with my family which makes life 100% easier and am paying bills off... I have been seeing a very wonderful man that i like very much... I'm going to visit my father in Indiana, I'm going to fly for first time which i must say is terrifying.
Life is looking up.
New Years
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| a new discovery 2008-05-11 21:12:41 ET |
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i am almost 22 years of age and i am learning the hardest things in life at the moment. my realtionship of over a year with a 30 year old man has been hanging on by a string for a while and ruined because of a substance abuse problem. co-dependecy has now become a reality and love is the most hurtful kind of a feeling both physically and mentally. coming upon this site and realizeing it contains years of my life is so strange. i want to be free again.
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| My life flashed before my eyes 2006-03-02 00:08:12 ET |
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a lot of memories are documented on this page. this whole page covers years of lame and exciting experiences... thats pretty crazy. I'm almost 20 years old. i'm going to graduate in april and will be a Massage Therapist, school went by fast, one more week of classes and then i have to finish up my clinical hours.
i went to tiajuana last weekend and i was caught with 7.6 grams(it was way less than that) of mary jane... which it wasn't even mine it was my brothers... i have to pay the government $500... but before all that shit happened i was drunk and having fun... its so crazy out there but i dont know if i'm gonna go back anytime soon, haha.
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| Ford Taurus SHO V8 2005-06-10 02:05:31 ET |
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i ordered the part i need for my car its a cam shaft. it came out to $164 i thought it would be more. so it should get here by tomorow then i'll have my car again!!!!!!!!!!! i had to fucken walk to work from my house today, it sucked. i only worked about 12 hours this week because of the funeral. maybe i can borrow some dinero from my mother to pay the machanic.
oh, my boyfriends brother was shot and killed a week and a half ago he was 28 years old and left behind a wife and four children... but now that the funeral and all that is over with i think michael will be better than he was... i feel so bad for his mother... you can tell by just looking at her face that she was hit so hard by this... i love her... she is such a great women. it was hard going to funeral home with the open casket, his wife was screaming "wake up, moises, i can't do this without you", i couldn't help but cry from that alone.
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| sprinkle 2005-05-24 18:12:36 ET |
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me and michael might go watch star wars again today... when we went to see the premier on wed. i teased out my hair and wore my red lipstick... we both got all dressed up, it was fun. then we will probably go to this chinese buffet in palm springs that we like... but i'm not sure i'm in the mood for that anymore. we'll see. i got the boxes from my work they are in all diffrent colors(nice colors) and there are foot prints on it... i want to do something with it, maybe i'll create something nice, its from this new wine we got in last week called "barefoot" and everyone seems to like it because it was practically sold out yesterday.
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| Michael Durazo 2005-05-10 03:27:31 ET |
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i'm sitting here talking to my boyfreind... if you can call this silence talking, he's watching a special on Michael Jackson and laughing... hes so cute. he wants me to put it on but i don't feel like seeing an ugly face especially if they are gonna zoom in on it. i got off work at ten and i hope i get to go to kerenas today, maybe we can go shopping tomorrow, i have money and i have no wardrobe, she likes to go to thrift stores... yaay.
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| why Hello 2005-05-05 02:11:56 ET |
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i haven't been here in forever. well i've been working at a liquor store for about 8 months meaning getting drunk and fat for free. i finally got my computer fixed and its running pretty fucken smooth. i went to coachella fest both days this past weekend i had a lot of fun, i got in free the first day and me and my boyfriend payed $120 for two tickets the second day. New order did three joy division covers, i got to see the locust for the first time. blah blah blah, how are you?
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| Diffrence in the shades 2004-09-27 12:53:05 ET |
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Holy Cow! no, really... i would hate to come here and my shit be deleted, i've spent literally years on these entries and have yet to save them... i wish i would have written more about the recent Jaque. i miss you SK... i'm back at home... i'm gonna start working at a liquor store on thursday, there aren't any good shows coming up... i'm Gonna see Bright Eyes in Las Vegas, and we are getting a hotel and are gonna get fucked up... i think it will be worth the drive.
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| New Pictures 2004-08-23 04:16:04 ET |
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Ash and me
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| see the curious girl with that look on her face 2004-08-16 02:42:31 ET |
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blah blah this, blah blah that, haven't been here in a while, had sex... gonna have sex again. hopefully. pats band is playing tomorrow, not sure if i'm gonna go. it's in El Centro which is right by mexicalli... went to the beach with my family been smoking... stopped drinking because of a very regretful night, gonna go to the showcase and see toxic with naked aggression! that will be awesome! hopefully gonna see bright eyes too... i want to see interpol and the cure but it's really expensive... blah blah
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| Oh My 2004-08-02 18:50:35 ET |
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it's been too too too fucken long... so much shit has been happening, been partying too much, which is good. i get paid shit at my job, i need money. but i've been having fun... i was really depressed for a while but i'm all better now. i miss you all...
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| welly welly welly well 2004-07-16 03:01:27 ET |
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my mother is moving out tomorrow... thats going to be so strange. she is taking this wonderful piece of machinery with her... damn this is gonna suck. me with no computer? i work tomorrow... i don't think i'm gonna get paid though, probably next week, i don't even know how much they pay. oh-well. i have been high for like the past 3 days straight... thats bad, i have just been feeling really down. i have been eating sooooooo much! maybe we will go to dr. strange this weekend. i don't know if i'm working this weekend, i probably am.
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| 2004-07-14 15:38:42 ET |
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i thought things would start to look up for me, i have a job, my mom is moving out, i thought me and pat were good freinds again, and then shit happense. it's my first day of work, and i want to die. why do people do such stupid things? i should be able to have control over my emotions. i'm just gonna pack it all inside. i'm not going to do anything for a while... i hate this so much.
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| I'm done 2004-07-13 22:34:31 ET |
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i'm done with everything. i am going to work then going home. i don't want to do this anymore. it's definetly my last day on the stupid myspace. stupid stupid girl. subkultures is so much better... fuck myspace. that is all...
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| 2004-07-12 18:45:33 ET |
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let's sail away past the noise of the bay
let's sail away past the birth and death of the day
let's sail away to where the blues and greens swirl into gray
let's sail away
let's sail away past the cradle of these waves
let's sail away past the tide and its slow decay
let's sail away to where the water goes-some endless open space
let's sail away
take only what you need, my love, and leave the rest behind
don't be afraid of where we'll go, my love
i promise you will be fine
now you are the only one thats mine
let's sail away past the reflections of the light
let's sail away floating weightless through the night
let's sail away like a photograph, fading to all white
it's finally all right
forget all the mistakes my love
they won't be made again
leave the photos in the drawer, my love
we no longer need them
we both know where we've been
let's sail away disappearing in a mist
let's sail away with a whisper and a kiss
or vanish from a road somewhere, like tereza and tomas,
suspended in this bliss.
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| "wetbacks house, fuck the webers! yeah you heard me" -Jody 2004-07-11 15:48:04 ET |
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anyways. we went to some plateau the other night there was a keg and somethin' to smoke. pat got really drunk and nothing happened between us... he watched me pee. Emma made him kiss me which then made me think way too hard about the situation and i am now gonna stop persueing him what so ever... even though he calls a lot. i am just going to be alone. i have been having a lot of dreams about him. i hate this.
i lost 15 pounds! ever since i broke up with sheridan... i start work tomorrow at 1pm at TJMAXX. sweet, my first job i'm really excited. money money money!
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| tell me how you go like that 2004-07-09 01:37:12 ET |
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we saw dropdead last night, it was pretty bad ass. we are gonna see them again tomorrow, then we will probably go to dr. strange. i have been at my freind ashley house for a while and got really drunk on the 4th of july, i stayed the night at pats house and was puking... he is over now. blah blah blah.... i still haven't found a job yet. tjmaxx is supposed to hire me, i will call them tomorrow.
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| when the curious girl realizes she's under glass 2004-07-02 03:43:07 ET |
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well don't you all hate myspace? this place used to be all exciting like that once... i don't know what happened, i still love love love sk much betta'. i saw crystal aka rebilina at the toxic show, she gave me and my siter a hug, but we didn't really talk because of the music. i saw levi there, he boosted up my self esteem with a nice slap on the ass and comments about how hot i am... which i never get but it was nice. i am waiting for pat to get his act together so we can be lovers once agian... it seemed like old times when he was here. we slept together and that was nice, just him with his arm over me makes me feel so much, when he is around i feel complete... i'm so emo but i love him... what else is there to it?
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| Seduction 2004-06-29 20:19:27 ET |
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well, i am at home of course. things seem to be going well. i do need a job very soon i think i will become a security person for gated communities, lame i know but it's good pay and very kick back. pat is over... he stayed the night. we are doing well, lets see what the day brings.
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| June on the West Coast 2004-06-25 15:58:07 ET |
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well, Last night Steven, Carlos, and Eli came over... i know that steven likes me and i do have some feelings for him but... he and i know about my situationa and i think it's pathetic because pat came over and stayed the night and i feel that he has no interest in me like i would like him to. so i feel i just wasted something. i feel like i can have a nice relationship with steven but i can't because i am waiting for something that will never happen. steven is supposed to comeover today, he said he would make me a mixed cd. he held my hand several times last night and was telling me about how he felt. he makes me feel really over happily whenever i'm around him. i don't know why, i'm never like that. but when he's here i can't stop smiling. i don't know what that means. he is leaving for a week and then he is gonna leave for college... that means i will not see him for a while. i woke up and felt like listening to bright eyes... and now patrick will probably wake up and talk shit to me about it... he and ricky stayed the night. i have serious doubts about what i was thinking about us... sorry about the long boring entry it's just the things that are on my mind. i want love, and a relationship... but not just with anyone. i don't know what i want anymore. we will see what happens.
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| I wish... 2004-06-21 20:01:42 ET |
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well, my mom was gone all weekend. i have decided not to smoke anymore. because thats what i was doing the whole weekend and i know i am really fucken stupid now. well anyway. yeah i hung out with my friends lindsay and ashley. they are cool. pat is supposed to come over today. i was just watching maurray and man, people are crazy. the headline was "your son got me pregnant" but yeah, babies are beautiful i want one.
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| great feelings of the night 2004-06-11 17:57:08 ET |
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last night i was awaken at 1:30 and it was patrick he said "go outside in 20 minutes" so i did and we hung out i met his friend eric who is a really cool guy. we all talked about various things, it was nice. i wish i could converse with people like that more often. we went to this church and were drinking there, then we came back to my place and were drinking outside by the pool, i had a few shots of tequilla and was doing pretty good, haha. he kissed me twice... then i had to ask for another and requested that it be real(with tongue) and that was nice, we were both drunk but it was still lovely. hopefully before he leaves for two months we will do more than just kiss,i don't want him to leave, but i know he really needs this and for that i am proud of him, i hope the time passes by fast... on satuarady we will hopefully have a party, more tequilla, that seems to be my drink of choice lately.
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| Teeth on the Floor Demo(?) 2004-06-10 23:47:59 ET |
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i don't know how i feel about things... i am happy i have a few great friends and i'de like to think they will always be there for me, and i'de like to think thats all i need but want is a diffrent thing. i know i can be happy with them, i just realized this today, that we are a nice little family and we care a lot about eachother. we will all soon be living together, that means i will be having a lot more fun than i am having now. i'm excited about it, i love my friends.
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| Arienette 2004-06-09 18:41:02 ET |
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last night was pretty cool. i went and filled out a rite aid ap. then i hung out with Patrick, i hadn't seen him in about two months... i hate that he is so lovely. i hate that i care for him and he makes me feel, i hate that he makes me feel so good... and i hate that i was begging him to stay... he said we will hang out again tonight. i had a few shots of tequilla and i just wanted to jump his bones so bad... or atleast to get a kiss from him... just one. but we had some nice hugs... FUCK, i hate being a girl. he just makes me feel calm all over.
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| OOooooh 2004-06-08 01:14:56 ET |
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well, i dyed my hair today, it's supposed to be a red black but now my roots just look brown, so i am just gonna dye it blue black. i've been helping Kerena with her newspaper route which is from 2am to 6am, i love it though. i love it. i applied at walgreens a few days ago, but i think i need to apply at other places cause i NEED a job. my mother has been being very mean and has been acting very childish towards me... it is upsetting so i'm gonna try an do whatever i can to stay out of her way. i'm gonna go get my tattoo touched up, James said he'd touch it up for free, so when i go i am gonna get another one. blah blah, i've missed you guys.
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| blah 2004-06-04 17:39:31 ET |
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I graduated last night. it was pretty strange, lots of pictures were taken... probably gonna celebrate tonight with some friends and drinks. it should be fun.
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| Crazy Bitch 2004-06-02 02:09:50 ET |
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well i got my first tattoo tonight, first we went to a place in cat city, they wanted to charge $120. so we said fuck it. then we went to Peckerwoods next to show girls in cat city, and the guy charged $55, he did a good job. i love it. oh yeah, i got the Minor Threat Black sheep on my right wrist. i will get pics up when i find the digi camera. i have awatned this for so long, it hurt... but not as bad as i thought it would, it wasn't that bad.
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| Officer oficer you've got the wrong man 2004-06-01 19:15:08 ET |
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I'm a student of medicine the son of a banker you don't understand...
today i am 18. i got signed out of school, i now can drive... i passed the written test today, and i am gonna go get a tattoo.
i graduate on thursday.... wow, life is alright right now.
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| Nakedness as Insult 2004-05-30 19:47:18 ET |
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Just awoke from a nap... i've been sleeping a lot lately. i think i'm depressed again... blah blah blah.
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| Teeth on the Floor 2004-05-24 18:00:00 ET |
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My 18th birthday is next week. i know ot celebrate Jody and Kerena are gonna take me to that club Blue Mondays. but i don't know when that will be. what should i do? i wanted to get some tattoo's but i think we are too poor for that right now. the BIG 18... i don't think its that big. and after that i will graduate two days later. life is looking up for me.
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| and pretty girls makes graves... 2004-05-22 19:17:40 ET |
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we are packing all our shit upstairs right now. we are all moveing into a two bedroom apt. in Palm Desert temporarily just till we get all our house shit settled. we are putting most of our stuff in storage. uh... we went there today and we cleaned it up and my mothers friend leahn came to bless the apt. and the water heater started to go crazy and now the restroom is flooded... so i guess they sent a plummer. so we were gonna move in today but i guess not till monday now. we might go down there tonight and drink with our friends. there is a pool there, so it should be cool.
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| nakedness as insult 2004-05-17 18:22:44 ET |
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i've been constantly listening to Bread and Water lately, they are just that fucken good. hung out in carlsbad and oceanside all weekend. i smoked so much. it was fun. we drove to carlsbad and the next day we drove to LA and we got there pretty late and the fucken show was sold out? yeah, sold out. when the fuck does a Clit 45 show sell out? oh yeah, when all the fucken skinheads get together to see angel city outcasts, thanks a lot assholes. i was pretty fucked up at the time so i really wasn't that upset, but then the next day i was so heartbroken. i waited a long time for this show. now i have to wait another month. fuckfaces.anyways. haha. fuck. life is pretty boring. i have been reading this book called "Odyssey of the Soul", and it's about how our thoughts create reality, and it's pretty fucken trippy.
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| I awoke 2004-05-14 18:08:15 ET |
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i awoke this morning feelling pretty good. i guess life is like that... all the energy you put into thinking things and being hurt or angry just tend to drift away.
tonight we might go to carlsbad and hang out with our friend chris, he's having a little get together to celebrate his graduating high school. so i guess if we go tonight we will stay there and i will hopefully get to still see Clit 45 tomorrow... i really need this show. but if we don't go tinight we will go tomorrow. i think if we go tonight we should go to the beach as well. that would be fun.
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| I'm okay.... 2004-05-13 17:51:51 ET |
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i will not cry... i will not cry... i better not cry. the only way out i have right now is through music. i found out something last night that i realy shouldn't of. i feel completely horrible and i want to stop feeling all together. i want it to be back to the way is was before i met patrick. i did not feel then... and i want it to be that way again... i can't believe he's diong this to me. i feel really sick right now... i think i'm gonna puke. how can someone make you feel this way, i thought it was alright then i found out he's trying to hook back up with his ex... i don't want to see him. i want to cry... but i wont let myself. he told me he loved me. he lied to my face. the only way out it music. i wrote this today...
Music saves, it makes the injustice sink and the pain is gone. whatever is felt then is uplifted with passion and life. heartache and betrayal are less thought of when the sounds fill your mind and it overtakes your existence. Love and Beauty remain in these beats and riffs. It takes it all away.
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| Last years YOUTH 2004-05-12 22:50:40 ET |
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i have my music thingy one shuffle and last years youth came on, they are pretty catchy. now it's AntiCimex oooohh i love them, CRIES OF PAIN! well anywayws. i am doing my english final on Body Piercings i have to do a presentation. and for my Economics class i am opening up a record store so i'm getting all the images and wholesale info...
in the summer i want to start up a band, and actually go somwhere with it. anyone in the area interested... i doubt that anyone in the area even reads this... but yes, i play guitar i have been playing for over two years... i think, i am gonna get to it more though cause i haven't really played it in a while... anyway... yup.
we have no cable... which is actually a good thing, so i feel like i have to do something productive with myself.
Anti-Heros are now playing...
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| End of You 2004-05-10 18:53:17 ET |
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When you get bored, this is what ends up happening...
my eyebrows look gross, haha...
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| Padriac, My Prince 2004-05-10 02:06:27 ET |
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I am now a Socialist. i signed up today, and they will be sending me their constitution and other information. i'm quite interested and excited on making at least a small diffrence. i will get involved and want to. i just got off the phone with pat, i love talking to him, he's really interesting, and i love how his mind works. it so happense that my grandfather is a wanted nazi war criminal, patrick asked this girl from germany about him and she said he was a slave trader, and that he is in the history books in germany... i don't know to believe this or not, i will look on my own. all i know is that he went to mexico to escape the war and got my great grandmother pregnant a few times.
fuck... i don't want to think about him constanly anymore, but i can't help it. i hate being a girl, but i do think that it was and is love... but maybe i am blinded by lust.
i have been addicted to this Bright Eyes song "padriac, my prince" it is beautiful, you should check it out.
I had a brother once
He drowned in a bathtub
before he'd ever learned how to talk
And I don’t know what his name was
but my mother does
I heard her say it once
Padraic my prince, I have all but died
From the sheer weight of my shame
You cried but no one came
And the water filled your tiny lungs
Appear, my dear, and cry for me
Six years ago today
That I laid you in your grave
Your sweet young skin was shining then too
So tonight to celebrate i will...
I will poison myself
Another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom
That is spinning
And I close the door
And I rest my head on the tile floor
Sickness and sleep turning me cold
I'm still not sure
Is there some better place I could be heading towards?
Where the selfishly sick and self-absorbed are welcome
I saw the future once
I was drunk in a phone booth
My eyes were wet and red
But I could not tell what was said
And through the screams of the traffic
Voices carried
Saying I'm sorry
On a day so gray it's black inside
Watching churches on TV
In a coma you don’t dream
You just hope that someone sits with you
Babies turn blue when they're ignored
Like the sky on summer days
Before you turn and walk away
It has changed you
So tonight to compensate I will...
I will poison myself
Another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom
That is spinning
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| A Couple of Days 2004-05-06 22:31:56 ET |
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I'm going to see my band, i'm so happy. i need this show. it will be my 9th time i think but i love and will always no matter how many times i've seen them, and i will continue to see them as long as they play in Southern California. they are such arrogant assholes, or atleast put up a nice front for thier fans... i wish they would play end of you. of course i'm talking about clit 45... i think i am so in love with them that i can't tell the diffrence of them sucking or not... sure thier new stuff sounds diffrent then that cd they have, but thier new record actually sounds like them, and i love thier perfomances... i can't believe i just wrote a full enrty about them... i now feel quite lame.
i am reading The Secret Garden, i saw it on the bookshelf and remembered how i loved it when i was younger...
i need to talk to someone i can learn things from... i like people telling me about things... because thats how i learn the best, i liked that i could talk to pat and learn little interesting things...
today was nice, sheridan took me to eat at "our" old restaruant, he has been acting weird like he thinks things will happen agian... he has been treating me better... i am kinda scared though... it's just all too weird. this week went by really fast, like it used to. i like that.
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| I'm a Gemini... 2004-05-06 01:21:40 ET |
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In their better moments they may strive to be honest and straightforward, but self-interest is almost always the victor. If things go against them, they sulk like children. Also like children, they demand attention, admiration, and the spending on them of time, energy and money, throwing tantrums if they don't get what they want. They reflect every change in their surroundings, like chameleons, and can become pessimistic, sullen, peevish and materialistically self-centered if circumstances force them to struggle in any way. If the conditions of life become really adverse, their strength of will may desert them entirely.
I hate that this is so true about me, but i love being a gemini and my other fabulous characteristics...
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| don't know when but the day will come 2004-05-03 18:22:03 ET |
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i saw Holokaust on Sat. night in corona. last night i went to the coachella fest. it was pretty cool, it was extremely hot. i really like Muse and we got to see Bright Eyes which were really good, they didn't play any of the songs i liked though. then The Cure which was great. i saw Emma and ari there, we were talking and she told me Pat told her he broke up with me. apperently he has been in DHS and hasn't called me. i have been dreaming about him, i'm still in love. i can't see myself with anyone else i dont want to be with anyone else. i love him, but what am is supposed to do? i thought i was passed it... then i saw emma and she brought him up and i was gonna start crying. then later that night i saw brendan(amma and brendan are pat's best friends) he told me to call him, he was gonna go to a party... i don't know how it's gonna be to hang out with them, or pat... i want him, i want him back...
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| Cunt 2004-04-30 14:37:35 ET |
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yesterday my day was shitty as it went, my car wont be getting fixed, my mother gave it away... then Patrick calls me up talking about how he's gonna leave may 18 to be a fire fighter and he's gonna wokr for the state and he broke up with me... i just don't understand why we couldn't be together till he left. i was very upset and i was crying a lot. i just really cared for him, I went through a lot emotionally for him. i still really want to be with him. i got really really fucked up yesterday, i drank way too much. i can't remember anything that happened last night.
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| A Perfect Sonnet 2004-04-29 18:07:49 ET |
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well today my mother had my car towed to my school so i could fix it in autobody, well it turns out the car needs 3,000 of work... so then my mother had it towed to this guys shop that she knows, and he said it needs 6,000. my mom is gonna give the car away... i was really looking forward ot fixing it, and then driving it. fuck.
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| not apart of thier machine 2004-04-29 12:05:16 ET |
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we went and looked at the house yesterday, it's alright other than the fact that the carpet is a weird pink and mom wanted it gray and the same thing with the tile. it's nice though, we are actually gonna own a house. my whole life we have moved from apartment to apartment, and now we are gonna own something....
school is alright i have to get myself into gear...
i haven't spoken to patrick yet, he was supposed to call me back the other day but hasn't yet... i'm still waiting for that call. i feel like the relationship has started to disintergrate, i thought we would be together for a long time... i guess all i can do is sit and watch, if i'm not wanted (and thats how it seems) i will just stop persueing him... i just feel foolish because i felt... i was dead inside and he made me feel things i have never felt before... and this is why i was dead to begin with, so i wouldn't get hurt.
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| lement... 2004-04-28 05:56:35 ET |
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i haven't been able to sleep lately. it's 3 am, i have to get up in 3 hours for school... i just lay there thinking... and slightly weeping... i hate life right now even though i should be happy. the house is done, we are gonna move this weekend. i'm gonna see the cure on sunday... my sister got a new car, mine will be fixed soon. i have a plan for what i'm gonna do after high school. i will be getting a job soon, and will be "growing" up... i'm unhappy because you thought you were in love and the person said they thought you were the one and that they loved you... and i have given so much up and have gone through hell for this person, opened up... and... i get left with shit, i just don't understand why...
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| nah ah 2004-04-26 22:18:55 ET |
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I'm back, after four days i'm home. i had a lot of fun with the family. it was quite strange because i don't like to speak spanish. i have always been ashamed of being mexican, well not realy ashamed i just hate mexicans. but then i went there to see my family that i havent seen in 8 years and they are cool as fuck, i love them. the mexicans here were i live are a bunch of cunts. i am proud of being mexican. i'm proud of being relatated to them. last night after a family party we went out with our 50 year old aunts and they got all drunk at this one club and we all were drinking, it was very fun. they told the manager guy that it was my birthday and these guys came out banging on pats and pans and some guy tilted my head back and made me drink a shot of tequilla... it was weird. i am actually looking forward to going again. i thought they would be really snobby about the way i and my sister look but it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, they accept us because they love us.
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| Credit 2004-04-23 08:53:33 ET |
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I'm off to mexico for a few days...
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| Elitist Attitudes 2004-04-21 18:55:40 ET |
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Sweet, on may 15th Clit 45 is gonna play at the allen, i don't really like the punks at the allen and i especially didn't like how thier last show went, but i love them and am gonna be right there, and in the very front singing along to every fucken song, not just one. i might go get a tattoo today...
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| duh dun duh nun nuh 2004-04-19 20:49:30 ET |
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well last night i had fun till i woke up feeling like shit. i went and hung out with some friends in palm springs, drank... pissed a lot and hurt my ass when i fell. i made myself throw up today, you know when your stomach hurts really bad and you know to make it feel better you need to puke whatever is in there... well i felt better for about an hour and i am afraid the sickness has just returned to me...
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| Heart-Break 2004-04-18 00:02:37 ET |
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my sister and i are gonna go eat, and then go see Kill Bill vol. two. my friend carlos drew a picture of me for my sister, she is gonna get me tattood on her.
UPDATED VERSION
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| Brave new world 2004-04-16 16:57:49 ET |
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i watched kill bill on dvd yesterday,and cecil be demented, and the anarchist cookbook(it kinda sucked)... maybe today we will go see vol. 2. tonight pats band is gonna play at the wherehouse in palms prings i haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks. he made himself this 80's cross earing and his hair is all cock rock, butt metal like. i'm gonna see if i can get my spetum straigtened out... it's starting to bother me, also i'm laways paranoid that the jewlery isn't straight... i need to get diffrent jewlery. i'm listening to this punk radio station totalpunkradio.com which is badass cause you can request songs for them to play, and they have quite a selection. but some of the shit people request are.. well... shit. hopefully today will be good, it didn't start out that way, but i hope it turns around. i need to shave... i think i'll wear a skirt today.
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| percipitate 2004-04-13 17:32:14 ET |
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I'm going to the Chiropractor right now, to a new person... it's really hot right now, i'm sweating in my house, i'm gonna trun the AC on. yesterday was pats birthday, i didn't speak with him yesterday he was supposed to call me, even though i did call him several times... i haven't spoken to him yet today either. i get he feeling i'm not gonna see him this week... oh-well as long as i'm busy i wont be that gay.. i hate being a girl, it's not like i can just be cold and not feel, but i wish i could help feeling so much. in my last relationship i gues i was kinda dead inside, so all of these weird feelings are new to me... i WILL have a good spring break, i WILL...
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| PDA 2004-04-12 15:54:43 ET |
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well, don't people get journals so they can write whatever they want in them? then they find out that the people they know read it, or could read it, so they end up sencoring(WTF SP) everything they write cause they don't want someone to find out... well i am stupid and have done that a lot. but i think it's time to get it all in the open more for myself. i met patrick while i was with sheridan, the night i met pat we kissed, i cheated, about 4 days after i met pat i dumped sheridan and the same day i became an item with patrick. that was hell for me... sometimes i think why... but i know why. i have never been so in love with someone, it hurts so much though... with sheridan i felt like after a while with being someone you were supposed to love them... i'm not sure if it was true, but i know it wasn't like this, i have never felt this way before. but i feel like it pains me more than makes me happy... i don't know. the time is going by so slow too, it seems like we have been together for months but it hasn't even been two... i guess i'm just insecure, he says he feels the same way i do, but i'm not sure if he does... i don't know if i've set myself up... i feel like i try hard for him and he doesn't really try for me... i'm just really insecure... i just need to see him...
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| Marriage 2004-04-10 23:56:37 ET |
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i got my septum pierced about an hour ago. it is my easter present from my mother, i thought it would hurt bad from what i read and heard about, but it didn't at all, no pain, no tears. it is awesome, i think it might be a little crooked but we will see when it heals, and i also need to get smaller jewlery because this is a little big for my small nose. i love it though... i will get pics if i find our digital camera or when our pictures are developed.
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| Artist 2004-04-09 20:40:55 ET |
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I'm gona go get my septum pierced today, i hope they wont ask me for an ID... i have 4 piercings in my face, do you think they will still ask? i don't think i look younger than 18... i'm gonna be 18 in less than 2 months... we'll see what happense. my sister is gonna get her first tattoo, and our friend Chris is gonna get one too. last night i had a bunch of fun, i didn't go to school today. i will hopefully see pat in a little while and spend the weekend with him... SPRING BREAAAAAAKah!
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| 3608974 2004-04-07 19:35:40 ET |
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We found our dog. my mom found her at a rescue shelter a town over. they gave her shots and clipped her nails. the people found her at a park down the street from our house.
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| Veruka Salt 2004-04-06 00:51:57 ET |
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My dog is gone.. we think someone took her... my sister was crying... maybe she will come home tomorrow...
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| Another day, Another death 2004-04-05 15:32:17 ET |
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i'm listening to The Mob... i didn't like them because i thought they would be this really fast hardcore crust band... i didn't know they were this slow anarcho band... they are good. I'm listening to this patrick is put in my head, this is his band...
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| Hair is too Long 2004-04-04 21:19:27 ET |
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well, i saw that Jim Carey movie the other night, i loved it. it's soo good. i want to see it agian. i also just got back from seeing that scooby doo movie which sucked big huge balls, i was falling asleep. this weekend was okay. i have been driving my sisters car a lot lately. then on sat. morning i drove to the river in Palm Desert and we picked up Patrick, then my sister was driving back home and she hit this mini van. her car isn't that fucked up but compared to the van i guess it is(there were only a few scratches on thier bumper). so she is gonna get a new car and i am gonna have her 95 Honda, i need to fix it up, get it running right and then fix it in my autobody class. i bleached some of pats hair, it looks pretty cool, but i don't know how it will go when he tries to get a job. then today we went to DHS we dropped Pat off, saw our house which is pretty much done, it just needs carpet, and we visited our aunt. i can't wait to move, i can't wait till i can stop depending on my ex for rides. once i get the honda running okay, i wont need him anymore for anything. i hate saying need. cause i don't need him its just more convienient for me that he well gives me rides.
one more week and spring break.
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| Hatchet Face 2004-03-31 23:48:08 ET |
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Cry baby is on. sometimes i can stand to watch the movie but not right now. i was having an okay day, Sheridan got his Filth tattoo which looks fucken awesome i am so jealous. he also got a car for free from his mom. so that means he has 3 cars. i drove my sisters today i wasn't too shabby. i can't wait till i drive more, and when i get my liscence. i turn 18 in two months... i don't know how it will effect the way i live, i know i will get more body modifications. we went to the swap meet today. i was feling pretty down and still am... sometimes people just get depressed. i've been kinda confused about things lately, with me beeing a girl right now. i just feel like an idiot. a girl needs a confidence boost sometimes... i'm so lame right now... and kinda depressed.
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| You said you wanted NATO now thier bombing you... 2004-03-30 21:09:56 ET |
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what the fuck, i hate being a girl. they are so lame... i hate feeling. why when you don't talk to a person you start feeling... i don't know. i want sex...
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| When will the room for death die? 2004-03-29 19:06:58 ET |
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I am quite bored at the moment. i just pierced my wrist... if i can find my digital camera i will take some pics of it. i just need change, and i love piercings. i can't wait to get my temples done. if i had some clamps i would give myself some piercings, but piercing yourself without them is difficult.
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| Field Trip 2004-03-28 23:53:28 ET |
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well, got home just now. i had lots of fun this weekend. went to that show in DHS which was of course bad ass. hung out, talked to the AboitX guys. met this cool as kid Anthony who is now my son. we took him home and patrick, they both stayed the night last night. i'm so in love it's gross. we went to sam's house and hung out there all day just slackin it. i can't wait till i move. i can't wait till i graduate. i can't wait till i turn 18. i can't wait. i can't wait. i have to do this huge report for my friend, well i don't have to but he is gonna pay me to. i can't wait till... i just can't wait. Love Love Love.
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| Fredric Chopin 2004-03-23 20:00:14 ET |
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well i had lots of fun this weekend, i didn't go to that show in san diego. uh... on friday we went to some parties and picked up Patrick in yucca, Chirs came down. we all got messed up and slept at kerenas house, i got down in the Grass ;o)... then Chris and pat stayed the night at our house, he wants to move back down here, which would be pretty cool. i have seen dawn of the dead twice now. uh... The river(a shopping place where the krikorian theatre is) is a funny funny place to go, we were all hanging out after the movie and the security were being ass holes, and i didn't know that fucken place was private property... uh... of course i can't wait to fucken move! i've been listening to a lot of Fredrick Chopin. and i am very happy. i can't wait till sat. The Disclosed are playing a show with The AbiotX, the Lab Rats, After the Massacre... and other bands, The AbiotX are fucken bad. i get to see my aries...
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| DUDE 2004-03-19 21:14:50 ET |
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i went to that global threat show last night, i hate new venues and people... k lets see. when a global threat were gonna go on there were all these kids blocking the front by two rows so i couldn't get in. then when the band who is my most favorite out of all the other bands in the whole fucken world, i drove 2 hours, paid over $20, have been waiting for two months to see went on they knew none of the words, there were probably only 5 kids there that knew anything. then when they played a song off that punkcore compilation they went crazy. i am and was so pissed. what the fuck? where did all the punks go? it never used to be like this. it sucked, and i got so fucked up struggling to get to the front. i am a dedicated AGT fan who knows all of thier songs, and you see this kid in front of you with an AGT backpatch who knows nothing... sorry i had to get that out. but really, what hapened to them?
tomorrow we are gonna drive 2 1/2 hours to see them again in san diego... i hope it's better, but i know it will be because the san diego kids are fucken awesome. i have always had a good time there.
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| My Temple 2004-03-17 19:00:31 ET |
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i am ready, i know what my next piercing's will be, or atleast i really really want them to be my next ones. i want my temple's done, i know they are surface piercings and that they will probably be rejected but i will do whatever i can to make sure they don't. i think they might be kind of expensive to get since i want them on both sides... we'll see what happense.
These look really nice... i love guys with piercings...
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| Dramatic Details 2004-03-16 18:30:08 ET |
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well, today was HOT i am seriously gonna die because of the heat this summer. i feel like going swimming.
New Hair
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| She's bad 2004-03-15 18:03:50 ET |
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sweet, Thursday i'm gonna see A Global Threat!!! i can finally get my fix. i hope it doesn't suck... it wont.
i dyed my hair last night, it's black and my roots are, red, orange, blue, violet and green.
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| Call It what it is... 2004-03-14 01:27:26 ET |
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last night we all (jody, karena, louie and i) went to Sams house, patrick, ricky and liz came down from yucca to hang out too. do you know how it feels weird when hanging out with new people you don't really know? well, i think thats how it was for ricky and liz. but i had fun and so did the rest of us. we should do it again soon. uh... we picked out what kind of carpet we want for our new house... i can't wait to move, i'm so happy now. i owe my mom 45 bucks because i went over my minutes on my cell phone, i think it was like over by... a shitload. i don't really know how i am gonna pay her back...
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| PDA 2004-03-11 18:31:06 ET |
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well, today was... a kind of typical day. but Pat and ricky are coming over right now and we might go to the movies. it will be fun, mwahahahahahaha. I am in a really good mood and have been all day. i'm listening to Interpol... well i have been non-stop for about a week. i urge you to download PDA, Roland, and obstacle 1 by interpol. Pat is gonna burn me a Bread and water CD i have a 7" and a split of thiers, they are fucken bad.
Today i came home, and my puppy was all running around, and i saw she was pooping and it was a string... it was really gross and i don't think you would like to read that, but it was weird, she must have eaten a yo-yo string or something.. poor little retarded dog, she is still not potty trained and my mother is really pissed of about that, but we love her.
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| Still in love song 2004-03-10 11:33:59 ET |
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well, i've been good i guess. things seem diffrent to me now. i have been in this sappy faze of music, and love is on my mind constantly. i have been listening to Interpol, bright eyes, the stills... i graduate at the end of may, prom is may 8th, i don't know who i'm going with, i supose with my ex since we had things planned out already, atleast thats what my mom told me, i would like to go with him but i don't know if he wants to go with me anymore. i am moving at the end of the month... i still havent been eating properly. uh... i have actually been doing things lately, hangning out, having fun. going all the way to morongo and dhs to hang out... i went to that subhumans show with some great friends after that we went back to our place and had lots of fun... i am going to see AGT next thursday, i can't wait. hopfully this weekend will be fun...
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| I'm just.... Back 2004-03-09 20:55:07 ET |
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yaay... i got my computer back, it's all weird though, i have to fix it, and set everything back up. i am so glad, i was seriously going through withdrawls... fuck, let me fix everything up and really update my journal, i've missed you...
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| dfgsdfg 2004-03-01 14:46:32 ET |
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well, i haven't had a computer in a week, i will have it back, lots of shit to talk about, lots of updates and pictures....
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| My Aries... 2004-02-23 18:54:57 ET |
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well, school wasn't that bad, it was just kinda weird. I can't wait till wed. everything is going to be perfect. i'm going to be with all my friends, we are going to see Naked Aggression and the subhumans.
Isn't astrology weird, the things it says about you and your behavior, or how your day will go. it's right a lot of the time, sometimes it's right on the spot. it tells you who your most compatible with. I love it. I'm going to get my sign tattood on my chest, the numeral two. I'm a Gemini :o)
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| it's twelve something 2004-02-20 15:50:40 ET |
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i broke up with sheridan today... it's sad that i feel so good. i feel so good. we are going to be friends, i hope it doesn't get weird...
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| Grief 2004-02-19 18:15:06 ET |
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don't you just hate emotions all together? i seriously thought i was going to die last night. i haven't really eaten anything in 3 days... i was crying, i felt so fucking horrible. i don't know if it's depression, or... something else. love sucks. and i don't even know what the fuck love is. it's is just horrible. i talked to sheridan about it today, about how i feel about him, it made me feel a lot better, i'm still not hungry. he's upset but he hopes it passes but i highly doubt it. all i did yesterday was pack... i hope i feel better. i hope this goes the way i want it to...
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| anxiety 2004-02-18 13:49:20 ET |
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my mother asked me to stay home today cause my brother has diarrhea.
i have a lot on my mind... i dont really know whats going on... i'm so confused. i know what i want to do, but... errr... goodness gracious... last night we went and hung out with the DHS kids again. we went and saw thier band The Disclosed practice... it would be awesome to have freinds that are into the same shit you are and are just plain cool. i know things aren't clear in this entry, i just have a lot on my mind. i have so much school work that i should be doing. me and my sister have to be out of her studio by sunday, so i should be packing. yesterday we went and saw our house, it's so nice... i don't know how we are gonna live in a brand new house, we are destroyers... i hope i don't get depressed... im so happy and so sad at the same time, i feel horrible.
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| It's 8:18 in the MORNING 2004-02-17 11:22:01 ET |
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i am already on the computer... i have to pick a stock for my economics class... i don't know what to pick...
last night i had lots of fun, we hung out with the DHS kids :o)
i guess i am a excited that we are moving there, it would be better than out here, i was only hesitant because i know the valley so well, but i don't know that place. yeah, well last night was fun. we might go out to thier, the dislosed practice today, that should be fun. well, i have to go to stupid school... i wish it was all over already...
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| Longwave 2004-02-14 02:21:00 ET |
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Valentines day is tomorrow, as all of you know. me and sheridan celebrated it today... i don't know if it was a good or bad idea, it wasn't special... it didn't seem special at all. i mean valentines day even falls on our anniversary, so tomorrow it is 1 year and 4 months. he made me this little teddy bear all by himself by hand, it's weirdly cute, i like it. i gave him an old man pipe(from walgreens, it's nice), to smoke tobacco in, a lolipop and a little card. my mother got a dozen roses and a balloon today, from a man who is a truck driver that i guess she is dating. it just didn't seem like it sholdn've. there is so much heartbreak in the air, even here where there is none...
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| Mankind? 2004-02-07 02:26:09 ET |
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well, i downloaded Kazaa after sticking with imesh for so long cause i didn't want to "give in" and i wanted to stay with my old buddy, but i got tired of it. so kazaa here i am and i'm a big fan. i downloaded so much shit today, so much stuff that was so hard to find, and so much GOOD shit! ahhhh, mwwhahahahaha, i'm even into those games on there, i guess you can see i've been bored. i have also been looking at photos of piercings, i want more! i've been holding back so much because my boyfriend finds piercings repulsive, but i don't think i can take it any longer. if he breaks up with me because of it... i guess he really doesn't care or "love" me. i think guys with piercings are so hot, especially if they have thier lip pierced... errr... gosh... the shiny metal...i will get my septum, and some surface eyebrow piercings, they are just so beautiful...
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| Keep Walking 2004-02-04 12:17:12 ET |
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this whole moving thing is weird, my mom actually wants to buy a house... which is crazy cause we have moved about 50 times renting all over the valley, and she wants to buy a house... my aunt just bought a house in Desert Hot Springs which is like 20 min. away from here on the freeway, and now my mom is thinking about getting a house out there too. i know i don't want to move, but they are kicking us out. i can't see us moving to DHS anyway...
i want money so bad, i want a job so bad... i think tomorrow i will job hunt, for real this time, haha.
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| California 2004-01-31 16:29:06 ET |
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i got my records yeterday from hardcore holocaust, they are so awesome. i got 3 7"s, Aphasia, which is a really good Weird catchy record, i really like it. i got, Still born which is also inccredible, and Endrophobia, which kind of sounds metal sometimes, but it's also good. me, my sister, and mom are going to see the Butterfly effect in a little while.
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| many a times 2004-01-27 23:39:22 ET |
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4 more months and i will be the happiest i have ever been, maybe even a little sad. i will turn 18 and then 2 days later i will graduate, I AM GOING TO GRADUATE IN 4 MONTHS! that wil be 14 years of school. i am so happy,i feel when i am done with school my life will finally begin. maybe i am making a too big of deal of this, but our whole lives are based around school, and that sucks ass. i will be able to do what i want, even though i don't realy know what that is yet.
i can't wait...
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| career choices 2004-01-25 18:09:57 ET |
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i dyed my hair black... i also cut it, so it's just a weird haircut. it's not too shabby. i haven't been to work in two weeks, i don't want to go back, i need a real job that pays real money, no luck yet though. my sister bought me this really cute skirt the other day... i am making her a leopard print skirt, i bought some black lace for the bottom, it will look cute(it was originally for me, but she tried it on and.. i just gave it to her) i want to be more creative with my clothing, i want to start making and personlizing my clothing. especially skirts, i want to dress... cute err, haha. yeah. i just want to feel kinda sexy, and i don't feel i am like that at all, haha, me sexy?
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| The Allen Theatre 2004-01-18 21:01:51 ET |
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The show last night... well Clit 45 is my most favorite band in the world. i love them so much, they were incredible last night. i have now seen them 8 times and last nights show was the worst, it's not clit's fault it was the crowds. out of all the kids there(which seemed like a lot) there were about 4 kids who actually new thier songs, me and my sister included. all of these stupid kids would not budge from the front, they just stood there watching, while i was stuck in the corner singing along, i tried but couldn't get to the front. the only song they all new was "just exist" err... stupid punkcore compilation. Dave put the mic to me several times, which made me so happy. then after the show i heard this kid say, "$10 for this?" haha, anyways i was really pissed off last night, as you can tell. it just pissed me off that those assholes wouldn't let the real fans in.
i saw Crystal aka rebilina there, she's so cute, she was asking if i was okay after the collision, i showed her some of my bruises.
Subhumans, Caustic Christ, and Naked Aggression are all playing together at the Showcase, we are gonna need to buy those tickets fast.
I'm Gonna quit my job and see if i can get one at Target or Wal-mart, $40 a week is shit. i will "conform" for a job, which just means dying my hair black, haha and taking my piercings out for a few hours a day. we really need the money right now. we were told out of nowhere that we have to move out of our house. and we are really poor right now, it will be hard to find one on such short notice because my moms credit is really bad...
Jesus, i wrote a lot today.
i haven't written like this in a really long time...
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| eeee, yaaaahhh, Clit 45 Tomorrow after 6 MONThs!!! 2004-01-16 22:26:59 ET |
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we got a puppy the other day her name is varuka salt, she is the cutest little thing. tonight i'm gonna see reqium for a dream at midnight at the independent theatre. it's gonna be fucken sick. i can't wait till tomorrow, i have seen Clit 45 7 times, and the last time i saw them i didn't know it was gonna be the last time for 6 months! i'm finally gonna get my hit, haha. it's gonna be so awesome!
Sheridan and Varuka
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| what? er, no 2004-01-14 16:39:39 ET |
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Has anyone seen the Unseen Video on FUSE? i am honestly really confused, i don't understand, i feel like they are trying to exploit our beautiful scene... i don't know, then they are gonna go on tour with the virus. if the PunkCore show was sold out, who knows what shows are going to be sold out these days, AGT is touring with the Casualties, i'm gonna need to buy those tickets from ticket master and get ripped off... i don't know wahts up with this thing.
This morining i woke up and was gonna go to school for the first time this week, and i looked like a fat asian chick(no offense to them, but i don't look like that at all), my fucken eye's were swollen and are now more swollen, i look like a fucken dog. my mom took me to the doctors, and bought me some sun glasses and those things you put in the freezer and on your eyes. i guess from my head being swollen from the crash it is flowing down my face, yesterday my forehead was swollen, i don't know whats gonna happen next.
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| NYC 2004-01-12 18:22:06 ET |
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I was in a crazy car accident last night. we were headed to a crust show in LA, and fuck, it was nuts. right after when i got out of the car, i couldn't remember how we got there, or what we were doing. it was really crazy. i am really soar, my scalp was bleeding, and somehow during the three hits on the freeway my bullet belt came off, so i guess you can tell it was really fucked up. i ddidn't go to school today, i don't know what i am doing the rest of the day.
UPDATE:
Chris was in the passenger's seat
Chris's mom's fucked up car.
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| Doggy dog 2004-01-09 22:07:39 ET |
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i hung out witht the DHS punks last night in palm springs, i had so much fun. drank a few cans out in the desert, i also pissed out there(which was the best piss i've ever had in my life). i haven't had that much fun in a long time. i think i'm going to that lafyette show in LA on sunday, that should be fun. i'm supposed to do something again tonight with those kids, but they haven't called yet...
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| Shia 2004-01-07 00:16:16 ET |
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Well, someone is going to buy my Dirt 7" off of DIY-Auction, sheridan is also selling all of his patches and a civil disobedience 7" too, he's selling clothes and other goods... anyone interested? well look up Gutta_Punk in username at Diy-Auction
anyways... i've been thinking about prom, and i want a renaisance dress, and i want it tight, and by saying that it means my boobies will hang out, haha. it will be my first and last dance. i can't believe i'm gonna graduate... this will be so weird, i'm so happy. i need to get my Yearbook, and my cap and gown. my mother is trying to talk me into getting a class ring... but i'm not sure about that. everythign so unpredictable, and i have no plans, i just don't know what will come after the big Walk...
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| go with it a 110% 2004-01-06 01:48:37 ET |
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well, this weekend i went to a show in DHS, it was pretty cool, i was also kind of weird, but i had fun. The bands that are from here are pretty good.they are pretty much the first punks i've met from around here. i would love to hang out with those people again. i would also like to start up a band of my own, I'm not horrible at guitar i'm actually pretty decent. uh... i am really very tired i had to go to school today and got about 3 hours of sleep. i can't wait till i graduate!!! My boss wants to hypnotise me and do a past life regression, i brought it up to him cause i'm interested in those type of things, i hope it works. my record player's needle is missing! i'm so pissed, i don't know where i can find another one. i have a BSR record player and that all i know, haha. fuck, i love you.
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| Fist 2003-12-31 19:57:28 ET |
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well, i fixed my fucken computer. x-mas was okay, my mommy and sister got me some new docs, 14 hole oxblood which are very sexy. i got a .fuckingcom 7" and an excradores 7". i also bought myself a Bread and water 7", a mankind? 7" and a dirt one.. dirt sucks major ass, i thought they would be good but the chicks vocals are... i hate them, haha. last week my sister lost all of her cd's... which is prettyt much all of mine, so we have no cd's... thats why we went to dr. strange. did you know they stopped making "tales from the Clit" cd's? how could clit 45 do that? Fuck YES! guess who is going to play at the fucken allen on the 17th? CLIT 45 i'm so fucking excited... i couldn't be more happy to see a band... well maybe i could. but yes Clit 45 i will get my Fix! uh.. i had a lot to say an i can't remember. well HAPPY NEW YEARS! i don't know what i'm doing tonight but i hope it's something good.
i also got a behimnd enemy lines cd, they do souind like aus rotten because of who the members are, they are awesome, they have really great lyrics....
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| fghjfhj 2003-12-28 22:28:23 ET |
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i'm here at my friends house again... my computer will be fixed soon, i hope. yesterday i went to dr. strange* and got some cool 7" es... i tried to go to two shows yesterday but that didn't happen... more to come soon
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| dfgserg 2003-12-27 15:55:42 ET |
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my computer is really messed up... so i will tell you ALL that has happened when it's fixed... lots to tell...
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| yeah yeah yeah... 2003-12-18 00:01:53 ET |
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there is a local show at a park on friday... well i guess it's not local for me. i think it's in Desert Hot Springs.i want to go. The Disclosed and another band... then on sat. naked aggression, then on sun. the phobia show, with resist and exist, raw tofu, THE LAST PRIORITY, and others...which means this weekend is gonna be fucken awesome! and no waking up the next day for school either. we are gonna get a motel... or hotel(i still don't know the diffrence) so we wont have to drive out and back to the showcase. i want RECORDS! i need money for records i want to buy
.fucking com - ep
Bread and Water - ep
Abuso Sonoro - LP
Aphasia - EP and so much more...
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| yeah 2003-12-13 01:35:53 ET |
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the week went smoothly, sheridan went to las vegas at 4. we went to a shitload of thrift stores today after school. he bought me a record player(half off of $25), it's so awesome. i was so sick of not being able to listen to records cause of the k-mart piece o shit. i might go and see transpotting tonight at the independent theater @ 12am. i hope i get to go. i'm going to a x-mas party tomorrow for my sister's work, my mother and aunt work there too(a rehab center for crazies) so the whole fucken family will be there. i need to shower... i just saw some pictures of this guy i met a while back(levi) on a girls web site... i hear he is a man whore(i can see why) i have gotten e-mails about him, saying how he's supposed to come down from LA, i didn't see him though...
naked aggression show coming up, and that crust show. the crust show is gonna be awesome. a whole weekend of fun.
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| okay 2003-12-09 00:22:00 ET |
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well, on sat. we were supposed to go to a party, but our friend chris and his girlfriend christina came down from san diego, so we went to Mad Hatter and Chris and sheridan got Tattoos. look at the pictures i am now posting. it was really awesome, i can't wait to get some. Sheridan is getting his screen printing thing done, he will now start printing patches. i cut my hair tonight, dyed one side black and am dying the other side the same color (virgin rose) again. i will take pictures. well, it's only monday...
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| Time Flys 2003-12-05 23:39:04 ET |
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WE HAVE DSL!!!!!!!! i am so happy. i need to get an aol instant messanger thingy now, i hate aol. i like internet explorer though.
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| Donations 2003-12-02 23:43:28 ET |
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I'm really tired of... me. haha, i'm thinking of selling my vest... and i'm going to get rid of the tri... again. i can't do it... i'm not conforming, haha no fucking way will i ever do that. it's all these... well i guess it's just the way i have changed and think diffrently about things then i did. i guess i'm protesting against the mohawk making you punk. it's absolutly everywhere, and it's on the people that have no appreciation of the lifestyle, or music. i want to get into something active. i don't wokr again till the 17th beacsue my boss is going to China. 6 months till i turn 18... i want a tattoo...
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| Brian 2003-11-30 20:06:29 ET |
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There was a death in the family today. Brian my pet guinea pig died. i think it was because he always ate his food really fast, and would have to caugh to clear his throat... but i wasn't there when it happened so i don't know. we buried him... my baby is gone... i feel like shit because if i were there sleeping in that room i might have been able to prevent it... but he is gone and there is nothing i can do about it. my little brother wants me to get another guinea and name it brian, but thats not gonna happen anytime soon... i will be fine, i just put so much love into making him well, putting some weight on him, taking him to the vet... and i get a sudden death he was a baby, it wasn't his time...
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| To hurt me 2003-11-30 01:49:19 ET |
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tonight!!!!! well Thanksgiving was cool, i had two of them one on Thursday and Friday. good stuffing... i want more stuffing and crannberry sauce. tonight we went to a flea market, Sheridan bought me some glove thing's the cut off ones. we are here, i was just talking to a girl from palm springs, i guess people read this from around here, i didn't know people read this thing, let alone people from around here. tomorrow we were supposed to see the unseen and hatebreed but thats not gonna happen. i don't know what we will do. any suggestions. anyone want to hang out?
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| Social Neglect 2003-11-24 22:09:31 ET |
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well the last entry is weird, i was having one of those nights, and am glad that people replyed to it, the comments were all true and very conforting :o) thanks. Today i worked and i wont work for the rest of the week. Wed. is Sheridans Birthday, he is turning 18. i don't know what to get him, i got him a black zip up sweater at wal-mart, but i want to put some inside the sweater... i don't know what yet. i went to that cheap sex show on sat. it was weird, all the kids there were all drunk... i liked All Out Attack, they are a very good band i've seen them a few times now, but never have money to buy thier cd. i don't want to go to anymore shows where i don't like the bands... it's just weird standing there and not singing along, you jsut don't have as much fun... Thanksgiving is almost here :oD yummy!
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| Don't you think you guys... 2003-11-22 01:38:17 ET |
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Tonight i went out and hung out with "punks" from around here.......... er.... i don't even know what to say about it. they go to a park... they get stoned and drunk, they.... i don't know. i only conversed with this kid from indio for 2 seconds.... then these two little girls... i was hanging out with my new friend nathan who is hilarious... the first thing i told my friend frank was not to leave me and thats the second thing he did... i just don't fit in with those kids, i don't think they like me, so this will never happen again. i'm kinda depressed... i have no friends... i don't know why. i'm not a bad person. i have Jody, Sheridan, and Miguel... frank is my new friend, and i don't even know if you can count him or nathan. i feel like shit. the valley sucks, no one will talk to me. all i fucken have is the internet people... and i don't even have that. maybe because aunt flow is coming but after tonight i finally realize i have no social life, i go to shows... thats it.
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| no... i'm an idiot 2003-11-17 22:49:48 ET |
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i'm fucken retarded, no defiance is in Dec. so the allen it is. lol, i'm such an idiot.
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| True 2003-11-17 19:08:18 ET |
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Last night i went tand saw uk subs at the allen. it was fun, me my sister and this guy we met there went to the car during uk subs and met "puff the magic dragon", it was really fun. all out attack is a really good band. next week there are two shows on the same day.i don't know which one i want to go to. i really wanmt to see defiance so maybe thats it, even though i really hate the glasshouse.
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| Decide whether 2003-11-13 01:25:38 ET |
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The unseen has a video?!?! thats so weird. i can't believe them. today it rained a lot. tomorrow school, then the vet, maybe just hang out with my sister. i'm off till Monday. we might go to Dr. Strange on Sunday. i really want to. i'm fucken bored, i'm gonna go to bed in a little while.
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| Not fine 2003-11-12 00:59:56 ET |
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this weekemd was not what i wanted it to be. the show we went to wasn't even there, so we hung out on hollywood blvd. the whole night(me, jody, frank) errr... my new baby brian had mites, poor baby. i'm gonna take him to the vet on thursday, i wish it could be sooner. i'm mesing with pictures right now, i'm gonna put some of brian and me up.... work is good... here is a web page to me work, and the liinks on there somewhere is the other stuff we sell.
www.magicsho.com
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| apo poly logies 2003-11-08 16:43:13 ET |
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last night at midnight they showed a clocklwork orange in this new independent film theater, it was so awesome! i have never seen alex's balls so big, haha. they are also gonna show scarface and the wall, and clerks, transpotting, reqeuim for a dream at midnight these next weekends. we also saw the matrix last night. the ending was... well i didn't like it. today we are going to a show in LA somewhere. crystal aka rebelina called us last night. i hope she comes... well... i think thats it.
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| nothing but the facts 2003-11-06 01:33:49 ET |
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i got another guinea pig... his name is Bryan. he is very cute and little, my other piggy is weird compared to this one. i don't think i have given her the love she needed while growing and learning. i need to start spening time with them...
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| Tika tika 2003-11-03 22:29:15 ET |
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this weekend was awesome! two shows in LA. talked to a lot of people. met this guy named Levi who used to live in palm springs, he is really cool except for the fact that he forgot to give me his number. he was in this local band The Disclosed, he said he started the band. my sister was makikng out with that guy who was filming the shows, lol. it was so weird. we are supposed to go to some house show... anyways. we had lots of fun. saw these cool band, thretning verse barely got to play, the cops shut it down. saw Crystal and her friend who got hit in the lip really bad. we were supposed to go to a party, but that didn't work out. talked to levi. he told us to go to that show on sun. and we did, so i could get his info. that didn't happen, he took his g/f to the show on sunday. saw The Last Priority, i suggest everyone go check them out. we bought thier 7" haven't gotten to hear it yet though(stupid record player)...
uhhh saw ill repute on sunday, had to wait alone while me sister made out with sid. before that show, the guitarist from the last Priority tried to get us in for free... that didn't happen. err.... thats all i can remember... Sid invited us to some more shows... he is supposed to e-mail us... haha, he said he was on my sister like white on rice, lol.
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| Ckyle 2003-10-30 23:55:04 ET |
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tomorrow is halloween. i think i'm gonna go to a party.... i don't know if i'll dress up... i put more pictures of my hair up... there is a show on sat. i've posted about that before. my tummy hurts. i love my job. i love....
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| la Guitara 2003-10-27 21:50:44 ET |
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I HAVE A JOB! i'm so happy. on friday we ( sheridan , sky and me) went to this magic shop in Indio, we were hanging out looking at stuff, the owner was telling us these cool stories about his life, then he ask me how old i am and if i could work there a couple days a week. it was so awesome cause there i am with my tri and piercings and this cool old guy(long hair, tattoo's, smoking a non-filtered cig) ask me to work at this cool ass store. well i am working under the table to save him and me a lot of money. on one side of the store it's all magic trick stuff, and on the other side it's all wiccan stuff and candles it's awesome. i start on wed. after school... i have a lot to learn though.
on sat. we are going to that west coast show, where they are filming. woohoo Thretning Verse! the claivoyants are gonna be there too... mmnnn the hot bassist. well i hope you enjoyed my ramblings....
oh yeah, tomorrow is our senior panoramic picture, we all got a free RED(ugly, bright) shirt that says seniors, i'm gonna make it look pretty tonight, it's a medium and for some reason is HUGE, so i'm gonna sew it up and cut it.
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| Very Violent 2003-10-23 18:49:38 ET |
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well, they are up. the pictures of my hawk. i could have made it better, it's just that i haven't done that in a long time, so i'm a little rusty.
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| 2003-10-22 22:29:49 ET |
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so, today was lame, i had a test in Gov't i think i did well. On friday we are gonna go to Ralphs and pick up some tickets for six flags. i don't know what's gonna happen or what those protesters are gonna yell at us... haha, i hear they are crazy. but yeah, i'm gonna go to six flags on Saturday. i hope i have fun. oooh, i hope there are lots of haunted houses... what else... there is gonna be a filming of west coast bands and we are gonna go to the show, it's november 1st, or 2nd. Thretning Verse will be there, also Cheap Sex, the Havoc and some other bands. it's gonna be awesome.
later
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| Both Human 2003-10-19 18:40:44 ET |
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last nigth my sister gave me a tri! yaay, i have my hair back, i'll take pictures when i put it up. my sister ordered Punk Lives vol. 1 we got it a few days ago, it's pretty crappy, well i guess for the bands that we wanted to see, but it's also pretty cool. Thulsa Doom is on it and it's pretty good footage, the AGT footage isn't that good, and the Clit isn't even them playing... i don't think, i can't tell what song it is, i don't recognize any of those people.. except for this white guy whose always with them... well i'll update more soon, love ya.
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| Send some files 2003-10-09 21:22:46 ET |
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last night we went to that off the wall vans thing cause the unseen was playing. all the other bands sucked total ass!!! totally emo, pop punk shit. i heard that paul left the band a while ago but chose not to believe it... and then last night i was made to face reality, PAUL IS GONE! he was the one i loved in the band, i loved him, his voice, his energy... boo-hoo he's gone. they were pretty good with out him though, i got lots of pictures. the "pit" there was so fucked up. i had never seen anything like it. it's like that shit in metal videos and that new afi one. all these people just swinging and kicking in one spot, it was stupid. well anyways the show was just really weird, so many people that i felt didn't know what it was about... haha, that sounds stupid but they were all about fucking people up and not trying to have fun...
i'm gonna see Naked Aggression on Sunday. I miss Clit 45 so much... i haven't seen them in months...
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| Sirens 2003-10-06 20:52:54 ET |
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well on Friday i went and saw Meet the Virus at the glass house, the Clairvoyants also played they were pretty good, the bass player was very good lookin'. the havoc played too, the whole atmosphere was very... weird and not like other shows, it sucked. i'm going to the glass house on Wed. for the unseen, it's gonna be so incredible... i hope. i want to get better at guitar, i have been playing for almost 2 years and i... suck. i can play the music i listen to except i'm not very good at solos, so my friend joe is gonna teach me some stuff. i love Punk.
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| Leap of Faith 2003-10-01 00:33:00 ET |
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I just finished talking to my friend Mike on the computer mic by myself and him typing, it was weird at first then i got used to it. he's a really cool guy...he told me about a band Monster X, so i downloaded one of their somgs "Leap of Faith" and i usually don't like vocalists like that, but i am completely in love with this song... it's awesome. tomorrow we are going to talk more, hopefully he will get his mic hooked up... i have english homework but it's not due till monday... i think. i get to sleep in tomorrow since it's block day and i have no 1st period... i find myslef getting more and more into a corner on Subkultures...
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| what then? 2003-09-29 19:46:39 ET |
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well, i was making my little brother mac n cheese and i was using those stupid things to boil the noodles the ones where the top has holes and you just poor the water out... well the stupid bitch top decided it didn't want to stay on, so it fell off there goes the needles and hot water in to the sink and all over my fucking hand! it hurts like a bitch, hot water... boo hoo...
well i'm doing a darby crash assitate in photo, and i printed it out today... and it looks like shit! i need more dots. so i'm gonna fix it up and print it again.
i've been getting into Thulsa Doom, i really want one of their records...
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| bare nes ses i ties 2003-09-21 16:39:12 ET |
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i went to that exploited/adicts show. i had a very fun time actually a lot of fun. me and my sister went and we saw our friends Robert and Heather that live where we do with some kids that go to my school. i Danced in the "pit" when NY rel-x where on and when discharge went on, discharge was great, i want one of their records, i was gonna buy one there but they weren't selling any. i saw this little kid there that me and my sis would see at club Xanth, and we would always see at other shows, and he's all grown up and has a girl friend, he's not so little anymore, he said he reads this thing... i didn't think anyone reads this other than the people on here, but i am now noticing that a few people do. i
saw Crystal AKA rebelina, we talked for a while, she's so cool and pretty. her freind liz seemed pretty cool too. my back was hurting a lot last night... it's better now though. there was so many people there. i hope my pictures come out okay, i wasn't in the front like i usually am, so there might be a bunch of pictures of fingers.
gotta go to school tomorrow... this week will be a blur... i hate school... talk to ya soon... or not.
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| A gothic Romance 2003-09-16 22:18:44 ET |
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fuck, i haven't written in a long time... well i've been busy going to school and working in my Auto collision class, it's pretty fun. there is this kid Eddy in that class he is also in my government class he's always listening to metal (the metal bands that i like) so now thats what i always feel like listening to... weird. Slayer is on tour with HATEBREED and Arch enemy so i want to go to that... yup lots of shows coming up as usual...
i aplied for a job... and i didn't get it, but it was my first and now i know how to fill out an application... yup.
Meet the Virus @ glass house
Naked Aggression @ .. somewhere i've never been
The Unseen @ the glass house w/ sick of it all... i never got into that band but they seem pretty big... i hope it's not sold out cause they just came out with a new cd.
The Exploited & Adicts @ orange pavillion
The Exploited & CLIT 45 @ Wabash Hall ex Club Xanth...
Slayer @ somewhere
there are probably more but... you know
i still love you, and i'm sorry i havent been on or written :oD
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| Mohican Tunes Ahiahiyaaay 2003-09-08 00:26:09 ET |
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