I amost died! Oh, and Ministry!
2004-07-21 23:30:09 ET

Heh, perhaps that is a slight hyperbole, but I could not help myself, each of my posts should have some Simpsons reference. This incident in question happened at work today. A father and his young daughter requested that I get for them one of the many ugly shoes that we have, in a size 9, since we do not carry half sizes, for whatever reason, I have never asked, and do not really care anyways. I went back there and lo and behold, the shoes in question were behind three ladders, a small ladder, a medium sized ladder, and the ginormous ladder of total devastation! Ha, no, this is not a weird retaleing of the beloved fairy tale, could you imagine that, "Goldilocks and the three...ladders?" Moving on, I went to retrieve the size nine and I suppose I must have nudged monster ladder because it crashed down faster than Hot Topic did after it warned about quarterly earnings. Yes, ouch for the H-Tizzle. This, of course, started a chain reaction, knocking the other two ladders down, plus some boxes, and some things sitting on a folding cart. I, however, was spared from harm because of my cat like reflexes, and only managed to be knocked over on top of the fallen ladders, suffering not even a bruise. Needless to say, I was bloody frightened though, monster ladder must weigh nearly 100lbs! Imagine that plus two other relatively heavy ladders falling on me! Yes, a loud clatter followed by a disgusting crunching noise, unpleasant business, that. I secured the shoes and presented them to the man and his daughter, than proceeded to clean up the chaos, which took nearly 20 minutes! Lifting monster ladder proved to be incredibly difficult, I had to use leverage in order to even budge it a few inches. Finally, I finished, and went back out onto the selling floor, only to have the man return the shoes to me, saying they did not fit. I tried my best to grin, I am sure it looked more like a grimace, and put the shoes back. I almost died getting those damn shoes and they don't even buy them, bastards, mother fucking bastards!!! ::Enraged Divine Decay::
Alright, must compose myself, breathe. Ah, better now, I laugh when I read this now but than I was seriously pissed, heh, which says something since the manager working with me at the time did not even notice anything was wrong since I tend to have the same look of indifference no matter what I do. Anyways, on a much, much brighter note, I got an email from TicketMaster tonight, and Ministry is going to be playing at the HOB in Anaheim! Yes! In case you do not know, Divine Decay's favorite band is Ministry, to see them live, well, I could die happy. When I see them, I will have seen the Holy Trinity of Divine Decay's favorite bands, Ministry, KMFDM, and Skinny Puppy. Ah, life is good sometimes. We had better still be living here by than, I do not care if we have to live in the car, I am going to see Ministry, do not keep me from it, my wrath will be great and terrible!! Well, I shall leave it at this lighter note for tonight, err, today...whatever, it is either really late, or really early, depending on how you look at it...argh, I am not going to get into this right now!!::Storms off::

2004-07-22 14:50:05 ET

You could have said to them when you brought them the shoes, "Oh My God! I very nearly died. This huge ladder and two others nearly fell on me. But never fear for I have secured you the shoes that you asked for!" Maybe then they would have been guilted in to buying them.

2004-07-23 17:10:38 ET

Heh, drat, I should have done that, blast! I would have mussed myself up further, made myself look more pitiful, that would have done it. Actually, my best friend Luci's way of cheering me up was to say that they probably got into a horrible car crash on the way home and were killed...hey, if you never see them again, you don't know it didn't happen! ~_^

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