This is something I've written a few years back...
2003-10-24 21:55:35 ET

Love Needs No Limbs

Linda Limbs had no limbs. Confined to her hospital bed at the local hospital, her only companions were a morphine bag, and Skag - the clumsy janitor. However, this sad day, Linda's morphine bag was as empty as overused diarrhea prone bowels and Skag was nowhere in sight. The reason
for his absence, Linda reasoned, was probably that accident he had with that old metal, razor sharp rake. The one that took off his legs. He probably was recovering in one of the many rooms of the hospital. Two stumps for legs and no way to get to Linda. She started to cry. Oh how miserable her life was! And no morphine to dull the pain of living!

She lay there on her back, sobbing. Her full, perfect quadruple-amputee breasts heaved back and forth with each breath. And then suddenly she lay still. Her grief interrupted by a loud metallic bang emanating from somewhere down the hall.

What could that be? thought Linda. And then, seemingly in reply to her mental inquiry, in rode a wheelchair. Dragging poor legless Skag behind it. His shirt sleeve was caught by one of the wheels.

"Skag!" Linda cried "Skag what are you doing here?"

"I just came over to see you. I bribed the nurse and she snuck in this wheelchair. However I crashed into a pole on my way here and I fell off."

"Oh Skag, what would I ever do if it wasn't for you?"

Skag didn't reply. He was too busy freeing his sleeve from the wheelchair wheel's grip of death. Finally, using his powerful arms, he "leaped" into the seat and rolled himself over to Linda.

"Linda... there is something... something I'd like to say to you if you don't mind..."

"What is it Skag? What is it? Don't you know you can tell me anything?"

"Well Linda, you see... I love you. I've been in love with you ever since we've met. I don't care if you have no limbs. Hell look at me! I don't have any legs! I love you Linda! Tell me you love me too!"

"Yes! Yes Skag I do! I've loved you since the first time I've laid eyes on you! And it doesn't matter if you don't have any legs! It doesn't matter! You don't need legs to love! You don't need legs! You only need one thing! Your James Bond, Skag! I want your James Bond in me! I want to ride on your James Bond like there's no tomorrow!"

"Oh Linda! I never knew you felt that way!"

"Don't speak Skag! Just come over here and do me! Do me like a moose does a stray cow!"

"Yes Linda! Yes!" cried Skag and began moving the wheelchair ever closer to her bed until finally it reached the edge. Once more Skag used his powerful arms to "leap" from the wheelchair onto Linda's hospital bed. Quickly, he
began undressing her. Button by button. Knot by knot. Leather strap by leather strap.

And Linda Limbs lay there in heat. Absolutely nude. Her gorgeous torso and breasts completely exposed to Skag. "Take me!" she cried "Take me like candy from a baby!"

Skag unzipped his fake pants and let out his mighty James Bond. It was big and wide. But not too big like a John Wayne or a Kelsey Grammer. No, it was a James Bond. And it was just right for Linda, just like the Little Bear's porridge was just right for Goldilocks.

He entered her bear trap and Linda moaned with pleasure. She was hornier than Santa's reindeer. Skag started pumping his secret agent in and out. In and out. Linda just kept on moaning, and twisting around as best as she could on her hospital bed.

Skag sped up their sensuous rhythm. Slowly manuevering his James Bond in and out of Linda's bear trap caressing her clitoris with it's secret agent head. Then suddenly he withdrew.

"What is it?" asked Linda.

"I want you to suck my secret agent" said Skag.

Linda didnt reply. Instead she just opened her mouth wide in expectation of double-oh-seven. Skag used is arms to "arm-walk" over to her head and as he lowered himself he stuck his James Bond into her vocal orifice and began pumping in and out, in and out, in a wild frenzy.

Linda moaned, her pleasure sounds muffled by Skag's secret agent.


"Oh Linda!" yelled Skag as he pushed double-oh-seven in and out of her mouth. He put his arms behind him, laying them on her breasts. His fingers tweaked her nipples like a ham radio operator on crack. "Oh Linda, I think I'm going to come!"

Quickly he withdrew his James Bond from her mouth. Loads of semen shot out from the secret agent's one eye, some landing on Linda's hair, her face, her neck, and one in her left nostril.

"Oh Skag" Linda said lusciously "that was the best time I ever had. Promise me we'll do this everyday!"

"I promise Linda, I promise!" said Skag lovingly as he dressed Linda, wiping his Elmer's Glue off her head.

Suddenly they heard a nurse approaching.

"Oh Skag! Here comes the nurse! You better go!" cried Linda.

Skag zipped up his fake pants, kissed Linda on the mouth, "arm-leaped" into his wheelchair, and stormed out of the room faster than Dale Earndheart. But not before saying "I love you!"


2003-10-25 07:54:16 ET

poor skag

2003-10-25 10:27:00 ET

I see you post this on all your weblogs. Great stuff!

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