2008-12-07 20:46:17 ET

Let's face it. New York City is totally artificial. Take Central Park, for example. Trees and dirt wheeled in at the cost of millions of dollars just to make some random piece of urban property look like some Appalachian moonshine mascot's backyard. Except, of course, we don't get the wildlife. I mean, yeah, we've got our own bear problem... if by bear problem you mean burly gay men preying on unsuspecting joggers. And, hell, the only peacock plumage you see around these parts is when some pimp tries to flag you down in Penn Station. So there we are. New York City's faker than a pair of tits on the chest of some whore-painted boygirl working a Bangkok backalley.

2008-12-08 05:46:00 ET

yes it is.

i'm hating it today.

but usually, it's got that gaudy, faux-classy appeal to me and i like it.

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