|Early morning thoughts||2011-08-26 00:26:23 ET|
When i sit here alone at work 5 in the morning, there's a lot of thoughts running through my mind. The first would be on him... is he asleep? does he dream about me? does he even think about us in the future? does he hope we stay close forever?.... then would be my job. What if business gets so slow that I don't make anything? :/ That would be dreadful because then I wouldn't save a whole lot and I need to especially if I want to move by next year. The thing is in a way I'm wanting to put moving on a hold for him, but only if he's worth it. To me he is... but does he care as much as I do or am I just a "friend". I can't say that I don't miss the intimacy we shared. Ever since we got into an argument the other day he made it clear we should stop doing that. That's really hard on me because I love him deeply, and that type of relationship still made me feel like I had him. Now, I feel like no one else can compare. There are other guys wanting to be with me, but none are like him at all. It's been 1 month and 12 days since we broke up and I still can't seem to move on. I know that even a year from now I'll probably be living life meaning focusing on school and just hanging out with friends and stuff but I'll still have those deep feelings for him deep inside my heart. I'm willing to wait for him just scared that if I wait forever and I don't get what I want I may be emotionally scarred forever.... and these are the things I think about alone at 5:00 in the morning.