2004-01-01 23:32:58 ET

My friend somehow obtained a bootleg of the latest lord of the rings. It left a lot to be desired. Granted, bootlegs are often poor quality, as this one was in comparison to the quality you would see at the theater or from a factory made DVD, so i will still go see it in the theater. It seemed sloppily thrown together like they were tired of doing it, threw up their hands and said "Lets get this shit over with."

It has been so long since I'd hung out with this person exclusively that I'd forgotten about some of his quirks...The main one being that he can be dreadfully moody, and, although, I used to assume that I'd done something wrong, or that he was angry, I now find it manipulative. Everyone he knows worships the ground he walks on...to them he is a god. But he's just him. He isn't royalty, he doesn't have super human powers, and least of all he's not the god everyone thinks he is. He likes to make you feel like you're elite because you know him and because you have the privelege of hanging out with him, when really he's just like everyone else. I suppose I can't blame him, however, I mean...who doesn't want to feel like a king? Although I'm not entirely sure he knows he's doing it, and at the same time, I think he's too smart *not* to know.

Don't get me wrong. I love this boy like the dear friend he is. He's an expert on religion, has fascinating theories on life and spirituality, and he's highly intelligent to boot. But, I don't worship him anymore. Now that I see him for what he really is it makes me sad for him. He's lost in a world of working retail, role playing, and being worshipped for it. He's not working towards anything that will really make much of a difference in his life, and since 30 is creeping up on him faster than he'd like, it scares the hell out of him. I was too young emotionally and physically to see all this before, and now that I do I can't help but wonder why nobody else sees it. Maybe it's because everyone he chooses to hang out with are even more lost than he is. I don't know. It's his life and he can do what he likes with it. I just hope that he doesn't throw away all the potential he has to be something great just because he's scared.


2004-01-01 23:45:57 ET

This guy your describing, he sounds all too familiar. I think he is one and the same with my friend. We'll call him Jim. I think im falling in love with Jim.
Its all very tiresome and frustrating when someone like that is put on a pedestal by those around them.

2004-01-02 07:10:15 ET

One of my biggest motivators to get serious about college was the many older friends of mine like said person. Seeing people I originally saw as role models heading towards a wasted life was a real wake up call

2004-01-02 07:19:53 ET

Yeah, derelict, I think everyone has at least one person like this in their life...I'm not in love with mine, though.

Too bad he doesn't really have anyone he looks up to, dylan, so that either way they're headed he may see where they're going and somehow be motivated by it. I sometimes hope that because I'm 4 years his junior and starting my career that that will motivate him in somehow...as I seem to be one of his only friends that's going anywhere at the moment...but he doesn't look up to me...well...not in a metaphorical way, anyhow :P

  Return to Jynx's page