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2003-01-10 19:24:58 ET But first I need a cigarette... So my grampa, it seems, is not as bad off as we were lead to believe. The cheif problem with communication with him is the severe amount of hearing his lost. As it turns out, he's not really that confused at all. Sure, he does get confused, but that's not because his gears aren't running anymore, it's cuz he misinterprets what people say to him. He's also going through some sort of grief process...he told my mom yesturday, "Can you believe we used to climb mountains and go backpacking? Now, I can barely make it across the parking lot." I can't begin to understand what it would be like to lose my body, you know? Your body starts going so you can't get around anymore, then you're hearing and your vision. You're trapped inside your own body, which is disintegrating around you. Can you imagine how that must feel? I can't, although, I'm sure sometime I will. Anyhow...We leave tomorrow morning. I miss my grampa already. I remember when these trips were fun. There used to be more to do before my grand-aunt passed away the year before last, too. We'd have two people to visit. When I was a kid, I would go swimming in her apartment complex's pool, and play with my grandpa's dog. The dog has long since passed, and my days of hair dye have turned me away from swimming...but as an adult, I could sit with Anne (That was my grand-aunt's name, Anne) and smoke, and visit. She was a hipster in her prime. Going to cocktail parties with her husband, drinking, smoking cigarettes, gambling, and having a good time. This was before the war, i think. Oh, and how she loved her husband, Ducky, and my grandmother, who she lovingly called "Toods". She used to talk about how she and her sisters would go get their hair done, have lunch, and window shop. Then, they'd go home and make dinner for the men and my mom, when my mom was a kid. Well, I better get ready for bed...leaving the puter on in case loki comes online, though :P God, I miss him and Stinker... |
