In middle of nowhere,,,,
2004-01-12 22:41:34 ET

Oh, fuck, I donít know if Iím becoming more antisocial or whatÖ why I do need to go out more often, or ...uh, try to go out with schoolmates when they invite me... whatever... then only place I go our is to the music school, I spend time there from 4 pm to 9 pm (4 to 7, either giving violin lessons or studying violin method by myself; and from 7 to 9 rehearsal with the orchestra), then just go home, then sometimes use to computer or watch tv, wake up really late, again use the computer or watch tv then eat, then again go to the music school... and thatís what Iíve been doing lately... thus, one word: pathetic! Well do I even really deserve to ďhang outĒ with people? I always get bored, I feel like I was not my age, many of what they do Iím always like ďoh, how childish... blehĒ, and sometimes enjoying more what older people, do like laughing more at some old manís jokes... huh... yeah, right, like if I were really a mature person..., no one has told that Iím a responsible mature person or something, so sometimes I feel like Iím 70 years old, sometimes like a berserker beast full of wrath... hence I canít have an appropriate conduct of any kind of society, either youngsters or old people.

Well, about the violin Iíve been practicing to play some hard pieces called Danzůn No. 2 and Huapango, because weíre going to play on a very big event thing on February like the last year. Oh and I forgot about the drawing, Iíve been tired lately and not feeling like sitting to draw something. Fuck, I need another life.

2004-01-13 18:23:41 ET

yeha i have a hard time getting to hang out with people too. but don't worry like to much about it. or you'll be like me and go nuts and just find out some bad stuff about yourself. so just yeah chill. sorry if the advice was a bit shallow but its just what i thought right away.

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