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2004-11-10 18:43:42 ET Damn, I’m still without resting enough, I don’t know why, I try to go to bed and sleep well but the next morning, when I’m a classes I’m dying of sleep, I feel like just throwing myself to the floor and rest there. Fuck, I daydream more than I live in real life. Part of my depressions are probably due the fact that I feel so defeated trying to have a social life that for long time I’ve invented a lot of fictional characters and imaginary friends. Shit, I don’t know even why I’m mentioning this, I sound so pathetic, but oh well, here’s like another of my double life. I’ve written here in subkultures.net things that I’d never share to people I know I real life, so maybe the few people that have once read me know some more personal stuff that I’d talk with anyone I know in real life. Maybe I’m divagating, what I was about to say is that I feel bad that I really can’t seem to fit in group of people, really, I always find myself so different from them, or at least the people I’ve met, for example from the people at the orchestra I never seem to agree at most of the stuff they say, if they all find funny something I find it stupid, if I find something interesting they find it boring or bad.; from the guys at school, sometimes when talking they all seem to be really social persons going to clubs and having lots of couples and such, and that sort of intimidates me cuz I never know what to say about. Holly shit, really, I have more of another fictional second life in my head like I said, with invented characters in situations... I could almost write story... mmh, maybe a graphic novel, ...crap, I’m starting to sound pathetic again, I better go to bed now. |
