dolorosa
2005-02-03 19:52:58 ET

I doesnít matter what kind of mood I might be right now; I could be really sad or amusingly content, but everyday... ehrr, everynight, when the lights go off and I have my head on the pillow I keep having the same thoughts. Sometimes a tear begs to come out. Sometimes I think I have Anthropophobia (fear to society) mixed with Agoraphobia (fear of crowded places). I canít help it. I just happen to be very quiet, very shy, so timid, so scared of saying or doing something. I donít know how would it be if... I ..., I donít know.


2005-02-03 20:00:55 ET

I have it too!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-02-04 08:12:46 ET

Im sorry, this seems to be very personal for you but I thougth maybe I could offer some words that may or may not help(I hope not the latter). I have found myself feeling much the same for the past while, shy out of place and just all round not the same as everyone else. The fact is though that I know so many people like this and many of them take comfort in the fact that they are not alone ,a nd also that each and everyone of them has this very special talent, for you it seems to be your art, and from what i can take of you from this online community you seem to be a nice and well intentioned individual. These are things to be happy about to celebrate even, I know everyone sees so much pain and it is hard to focus on the good but while those of us you outwardly feel socially awkward we must keep in mind that those who seem to have no problems with communicating with people more likely then not have many of our same fears........

I don't know if I hit the problem or even got close , I hope that I could offer some words of help if not then i am deeply sorry

2005-02-04 20:43:04 ET

I do appreciate your words.
I do try to be a well-intentioned individual, but sometimes what one of my biggest fears: I don't know how people will find my 'intentions'.... uhm, yes, this IS one of my problems in deed, I am often thinking if what I'm doing is well recieved for others, such that then I'm afraid to act or say anything. I can't help it, with some stuff I'm not afraid to ad a comment, but for others subjects I'm just mute.

2005-02-07 05:14:13 ET

I hope that the part of your shyness that bothers you passes and that , whateve aditional troubles you may be having go along with that, Its is a great step to be able to write down your problems as you have already done :) or at least it seems to be a great step .

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