Ever danced with the devil by the pale moolight?
2005-05-01 19:36:34 ET

I hadnít posted here since too long, I guess because of the same shit, Iím either tired, I donít know what to write about, Iím even pathetic writing my stuff, etc. Whatever, Iím not very sure how Iím doing at school. In some subjects Iím doing horribly bad, in others just not so much.
Finally I started drawing again. Last week I started emailing a girl who also plays violin and used to be in the same amateur orchestra thing Iím in until she realized how horribly fucked up things are here, about two years ago. I stared contacting her for asking other options to study violin in other places too, since sheís now with a pro in particular classes. I donít have enough money to have particular classes because for much I like to play Iíd be reduce to consider it just a hobby, fuck. I do wish I could some day play professionally in one orchestra. So, as I was saying, this girl seems to have some interest in gothic stuff too, so I asked her a photo to draw her and she agreed, thus I made a drawing of her. I didnít end up really like I expected but she said it was nice. [studies, her, her hand]

Yesterday, some guys from the young orchestra invited me to go play soccer with them. The Result: Worst Idea EVER! I had like 5 or 6 years without doing anything of sport or physical activities, I didnít lest but 10 minutes and I was almost dead, I had huge troubles breathing. Iím such a sag of shit, Iím totally incapacitated for sports activities. That was just plain stupid. Me and my retarded idea of trying to be nice and socialize with these kids, fuck, was that really stupid, I fucking hate myself.

Well, maybe next weekend I get to Ďsocializeí but now with guys from school who at least are my age, and by socialize I only mean to hear some noisy music and get drunk. Oh Ave Satani.


2005-05-01 20:14:25 ET

just wanted to say awesome artwork ;)

2005-05-01 22:51:13 ET

that sounds like me when i walk up stairs.

2005-05-05 19:44:36 ET

vampqueen: oh, thanks!
phaery: heh, I'm totally ruined for sports.

2005-05-05 21:27:32 ET

welcome! :D

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