2005-05-10 19:35:35 ET

Iím recovered from the sickness I had and that I talked about in the last entry. So I donít suffer from physical complaints anymore, just the usual mental problems of daily apathy and depressions. Itís just so annoying when someone you dislike invades places you like (about music stuff).

Iíve been having Ėagain, for the 100th time- weird thoughts, yet focused on my reality. What if I start cutting myself, but harder this time, I wonít deny my occasionally intents of masochism, may haps as a chance to distract the mental pain and cloak it with something physical, heh, no wonder I like watching at knifes or blades.

The same rant, I guess all of my entries are about the same shit, whatever, I canít help it, I wish I could say Iím so blissfully happy with my social life like most members of this site. Iím not blaming anyone or saying itís wrong to be like that, itís just that... well, many members I started to get a long well in here have either gone away or quit posting anything. What happened to Moonglow? She seemed to be the very only one who really understood me in here and she left, as well as other ex-members that I read their journals have gone. Maybe I should go too, I donít know, I definitely donít fit anywhere.

2005-05-10 20:19:09 ET

No, don't go.

2005-05-11 07:27:44 ET

Don't go, we like you here.
And, something mike is going to start doing with me, is go for walks in the morning/late afternoon, when the sun is still up but pleasant. The exercise and UV can help you feel better, body and mind. Plus, it's a nice time to think. You could even take your violin or art pad, and stop somewhere along the way and play/draw. hehe... If i could play violin (I'd adore to) I'd play out on the street for money, just to see how many people would stop and listen. heh <333

2005-05-28 19:14:36 ET

I might go for some walkings when vacations come, though I'm sort of shy to be playing the violin just like that in the streets.

2005-05-29 08:47:31 ET

Just ignore the people then.

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