2002-08-10 19:39:06 ET

As I said in the previous journal entry, that day was different to the others, in which I had to bare to be going out to those places that I didnít feel comfortable. So, that day I finally started to paint, which got me to be alone of them, I finally had some peace for myself, maybe the bad thing was that in the building where I was painting still were some workers there doing stuff and they had they radio on, listening to a bunch of Mexican ďcumbiaĒ songs... it was so irritating hearing those, but oh well...at least as was alone then, and when I had my Ďbreakí the person who wanted me for the painting give me some bucks and I went to a Wendyís restaurant, I had a simple hamburger, and ate alone. Then I came back to paint more and returned back to the familyís home I was staying. There was again one little girl that I liked her face and I tried to draw her.

Ok, before any thought occurs here, let me explain, that little girl was something similar to a cousin to the guys I was staying with, you see, they had Mexican parents and so they had a few friends also Mexican and with children that were born in Dallas, so this little girl was daughter of a couple, friends of the person that hired me for the painting (Paco), and she and Pacoís sons use to hang out some times for whatever they come up with, understood?
Well then, she had three other sisters, two bigger and one smaller than her; the eldest one I didnít know her age, the second one was said to have 15 or 16 years old and her name was Carmen (yes, like the famous opera), and the youngest one was like 6 years old. Carmen was very pretty in deed too, but I didnít get to know her that much as I enjoyed some time with the one Iím talking of here, the 10 year-old girl, her name: Cynthia, means ďfrom the moonĒ; I donít know why, but I felt that she was somehow different to her sisters, I think Iíd say that she was more sociable with people, I mean if the other sister, Carmen, was close to the age of the guys I was staying with (13, 16 and 17 years old) that would make more sense if was she whom was hanging out with us, but no, apparently she had some issues, and Cynthia was almost always with us. This is why I started to put attention to her. You see, I, as always, stared ate her physical beauty found in her small face. It really astonished me her smile, because Iíve seen many other smiles in people her age and they look to me... just kids, but she was... cute in deed, a very kind smile, her cheeks were so adorable, her eyes were gentle and her short hair looked on her so pretty, oh my... I just canít deny something nice when I see it... so one time (of many) that she was staying the night with us, the 3 boys, me and Cynthia, she was playing chess with one of the guys and I, of course, staring at her, until I decided that I must had to print that face in paper... I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper near, and starting drawing. When they finished playing, the poor kid lost the game (of course it was like her second game in her life or so) I showed the picture to her and she smile, laugh and said ďoh, cool! Very nice! Can I keep it?Ē, and of course I let her.

Days where passing by again; I kept painting some more, and keep going to restaurants and places with these people, and this petite was some times coming with us again. She was so joyful, really a happy girl I think, Iím not sure that she was the very-extrinsic naughty childish girl as many others, I could tell by her smile, that wasnít so big and lightning as others, though hers was pleasant and laughed a lot (as many kids) I found her kind many times. Then Pacoís family decided to go to San Antonio with other two families and Cynthia wanted to come... and so it was. One of the other families was a Mexican one relatives of them, and the other one was American, also relatives, this one had also three daughters only, 6, 12, and 13 years old; the older one said to be a cheerleader... (donít blame me for any thought that may invite of) her name: Becky, holly shit, she just wanted to talk and talk and talk, about anything; the 12 year-old, April, wasnít that much cheerful though not so quit too, and the little one, Jessica... as any other kid, nothing unusual. So, we went to San Antonio, now that Cynthia had more girls to be with she even talked more and was hanging around in everywhere we were, I always tried to be close to her or the other girls because sometimes (many Iíd say) the dudes were saying too much bullshit... always looking for comedy in the TV and mtvís ĎReal worldí shit... blah, so it was kind of nice being with them, though they kept on telling me ďyouíre weirdĒ... all of them, all, even the little one told me that, even one day, April asked to me why was I so quiet and specially why was I wearing always black clothes, I just replied her saying that it was my favorite color, then she said ďmmh, youíre going to be a gothicĒ, I smiled and said ďwhat do you think I am?Ē and she said back ďoh really? Itís just that in my school goths dress themselves quite freakier than youĒ and I replied ďuhm yeh, whatever, Iīm not like thoseĒ.

Well days kept passing and I had the urge of finishing my painting so I could come back and continue my violin lessons and my own drawings. And as much as I had to tolerate the activities they were doing, as Kat told me, I made an effort of having some fun or at least a pleasant moment, and I think I had while being sometimes with those girls and specially with Cynthia. We went to the Alamo, there in San Antonio, and the she kept on telling my that I should buy a souvenir from there, but I always told that I didnít want to, didnít even like to, so she said that at least I should buy a book of the history of the Alamo, and I told her that I donít like history, and she asked me what kind of stuff did I read, and I told her that something that had a plot, something of drama, I mentioned i. e. Edgar Allan Poe, but she didnít know who was he, April did and said to me that he was boring ...whatever... I didnít buy anything and they kept calling me boring and weird person, so it was that once we went to a Red Lobster restaurant and Becky, was so restless that started to come up with a song in which included me in the lyrics, I still remember it: ď...you are so quiet you almost donít talk, your mind goes like a clock tic-toc tic-toc.Ē I asked why about the tic-toc thing and she said that it was because sometimes Iím quiet tic and sometimes I talk toc. As singular it seems, it got my attention to that, it was truth in deed... similar maybe to an ideology I keep for thinking-talking... mmh... anyway, it didnít bother me, she said it was like a parody of one song of Merry Poppings... donít ask.

And days passed by, finally we got back to Dallas to finish my painting, my pathetic and horrible work. I finished. Cynthia got back to her home and said bye. I, like I said finished my work, and it is such a lame! Fuck, it is! Itís not too big. I forgot to look at the address but if anyone live in Dallas, TX, or goes there just passing by, you may see my ugly painting at a place that is going to be called Sol Plaza, I think that the building will be done in some weeks. Oh, so after that I decided to leave Dallas and come back; when Paco asked me how much should he pay me for it I really didnít know what to say, believe me, I suck at handling money and I didnít know if my thing worth too much or not, so I told him that $70 would be ok (hoping it wasnít too much) then he decided too give $200, wow, that was a surprise, I thanked him very much of course, bought a bus ticket and came back, and now I am in home. Fortunately I came the day in which the symphonic orchestra (I was constantly going) opened itís second season and I went to it, ...it was nice. Today I came back to my violin lessons too, yep, I think I missed my teacher heh he; at evening with the money I gained I decided to buy a baby, yes people, I finally have my own violin!

Well, I think thatís all I had to say.

2002-08-10 21:15:27 ET

Welcome back. Your travels and travails have made for an interesting read. Tic tock.

2002-08-10 21:34:55 ET

wow... so maybe it wasnt as bad as it seemed? im happy you had some fun... im going to dallas next year maybe i can check out the painting :)

2002-08-10 21:49:01 ET

Tic-toc here.
I'll try to get the exact address.

2002-08-10 21:54:26 ET

woohoo! thanks =)

2002-08-11 15:55:21 ET

Iíd like to add to this that the way I was looking to that charming little girl was in way of appreciation the simple beauty of the tenderness of a child, and also for pure aesthetic facts in her cute face. Just telling this so no one may misunderstand me by thinking that Iím some sort of minor-aged perverted or like the such. It just that I do like girls to admire this way, because then they might become obnoxious preps if arenít well guided. So I could tell more and more thoughts of this pretty girl who even was kind to me. It seems funny to me how her family (and the otherís too) were always talking in what we call ďSpanglishĒ, yep, using Spanish and English phrases mixed together while talking, you see, many times she talked to me in English but then her mother (apparently Mexican) talked to her in Spanish but Cynthia replied her in English and sometimes using one or two words in Spanish, and to my opinion she talked Spanish very well, I think better than the other 16 and 13 years old boys; her pronunciation was very accurate. It was even funny how she told me that my English had a bit of "England accent" (she said), I don't know, I don't think I have it, maybe I just pronounce a bit harder the bass sounds, whatever. So, I hope I have made clear this.

While listening ďTreasureĒ of Cocteau Twins was why I started to think in many thing and one was this. Some other thoughts I had, i. e. the way I got exited by reading something of a book I was taking borrowed there was the explanation of this ďSuperstringsĒ theory, a post-Einsteinís relativity theory, which that sort of thing amuses me so much, I could read it all, I barely read the intro, but of what I read and mixing it with other thought of my own, Iíll have something to write on later.

2002-08-12 19:52:08 ET

Oh, I got now the address of the place, in case anyone goes to visit Dallas. The place will be called Sol Plaza, and it's on a corner of:

3100 W. Northwest Highway
Dallas, Texas 75220

2909 Bachman Drive
Dallas, Texas 75220

2002-08-12 22:04:00 ET

cool ill take a look next year.

  Return to Malkavian's page