|
2002-09-19 18:42:34 ET I’ve finally finished my painting, I can’t stop it right now, I still need to get it dried, so hopefully I might put it in my gallery here for Saturday even though I’m not so sure how am I going to do it, the scanner is smaller than the painting, or should I say the painting is bigger than the scanner and I don’t have camera, anyway the painting isn’t really to big like to call it a grand work, to say truth it isn’t very detailed as I wished and as ALWAYS I’m definitely not satisfied with the result, in part because I haven’t managed too much with colors, this will be the second time, so it doesn’t look too realistic as I wish it were, and I had to use light colors for the purpose I had in mind, another thing I’m not very familiar with, light colors. Whatever, I’m also working on another draw, this time my regular style of drawing at pen and at black and white. It’s about two hands playing the violin which I’ll use for the cover of my method book of it. I can say I how now done about a 60% of it, so I’ll get it finished in about a week... or even if I do an effort I might get it done this weekend with the painting together... I’m not sure, I’m too lazy. We’ll see. Ok, I’ve noted that I’ve only been talking about my drawings/paintings and the violin thing, and it’s starting to get bored, I’m just pathetic... it’s just not the guy likely to be posting about 3 journal entries a day only saying that my life sucks and that I’m extremely bored and such, to say truth I never imagined myself writing about personal thoughts and ideas in something like this, I must say that before this I was getting even more insane about feeling alone and not knowing where to place something I had in mind, or maybe not just where to but if I should; I remember I once did started something in which I wrote stuff I had in mind in a .doc file, I was planning something like writing hell a bunch of things and at the end having something larger than a bible, but I only got 2 pages with font “Agency FB” size 6 and I kind of started to feel stupid, I was wondering “who’s going to read it? Who’s going to care? Who’s going to even understand it? What benefit would come with it? My ‘moral’ written may even scare people, so, why should I keep on it?”, and so I decided to left it and deleted it. I was writing some really crazy stuff there, but then some months later I got to this site and said “oh, what the fuck? It’s not going to be like personas sissy diary shit... let’s just write carp about myself, with written ideas people have the decision of either reading it or not, not like when talking, people may not listen but the have to at least hear it (and don’t give me the childish excuse of blocking your ears), so with written crap about whatever people choose if reading or not, liking it or not is not my problem, I’m not begging to be heard... I know now that that hasn’t helped me out before. But to say truth since writing here it in some way has been some sort of ... uhm... let’s call it therapy? Nah... it just seems that I have frees many emotions I haven’t showed to anyone, which is some new crazy stuff I was thinking, it’s like having two personalities... but that’s something I should explain more detailed in another occasion... for now I can say that it’s been something new to explain. |
