Hard to read well.
2002-10-09 11:10:08 ET

Well, yesterday was raining at night, it felt nice, there were a few thunderbolts and many lightings, the water was slowly running through the glass of the window, it feels nice having this kind of weather since it doesnít happen very often. I also got thinking in some very weird, crazy ideas about death, but I donít feel likely to talk about that in this moment. Instead a was thinking of how is it that I have a really bad concentration when reading, bloody damn me, I canít seem to focus on lectures when reading like everyone else. I start reading something, then ironically if I found something interesting in the lines that I just read I then start thinking about it while still reading the next lines, until then I realize that what Iím reading isnít making any sense due to I wasnít putting attention to itÖ I was reading it and yet thinking in something else; so I come back to where I remember I started loosing it to read it again now putting attention, but still, if may happen this to me again about 5 or 6 times in one single paragraphÖ when Iím feeling mind-loose.
And I donít know why but even with the lectures I like and enjoy this problem happens. So reading again some few lines of any text becomes annoying sometimesÖ I mean sometimes, because there are other few times when I can read carefully to something. So yes, concentrating in reading has always been a problem, I guess thatís why I liked first math and drawingÖ in math it doesnít matter how you read it, its universal meanings are constants, and drawing because I do nothing but crazy stripes and figures on a paper. But this doesnít mean I despise reading, I like it, though miserably I donít have much easiness.

2002-10-19 21:31:03 ET

I do that sometimes, except that I'll keep reading and just loose track, stop paying attention. It's just some texts, don't hold enough.. I don't know.. the writer just doesn't grab me enough.

  Return to Malkavian's page