I'm alone and lost.
2002-06-06 06:27:51 ET

I am so fucked up. Iím so worthless. My life is pathetic. Iím stupid. Why is it that I can think of subjects in a way that maybe only philosophers would entertain, but normal people would reject? Why is it that I think of the mind as an entity aware of it by itself and awareness itself?

Iím always wandering of the psychic processes of the mind that make people think like they think. Always wandering of the conscience that human beings have as their natural element of existence. Always concluding that mechanical movement of planets rotation worth the same shit than the pope. That nothing is really especial as we wanted it to be in a general social law. That only subjectivity is what paradoxicaly have made human conscience, for its own importance, its own awareness.

All of that thought just to again watch decaying my pathetic life into loneness... no empathy to shelter me, no warm arms to hold me like I wish, no muse to dedicate poems, no reason to be proud of. Just the simple idea... or the ancient philosophy... that everything is as fucked up as it always has been.

2002-06-06 07:32:40 ET

Everything will get better in the end. If it's not better it's not the end. Lonelyness is part of life that's why you get a life-size teddy bear! :oP

2002-06-06 09:50:01 ET

Boethius was foolish to think of the term, "Consolation of Philosophy" however your life will indeed get better soon. All you need to do is find a way to get a little momentum and then set off on a course.

2002-06-06 19:04:54 ET

Well I can't really say anything to chance anything because HEY I'm lonely too. Atleast know you're not the only one out there feeling the way you do.

2002-06-06 19:32:34 ET

Well, thanks people, I really needed to hear (or read in here) something like this, anything, whatever, even sometimes it feels nice when someone tells me "fuck you" or so, cuz at least it is directed to me...
...anyway, I just simple wonder if this "it'll pass, you'll get well" thing comes true, cuz like the 70% of all day I'm feeling dirty crap, well at least tomorrow I'm going to an Opera, and hearing classical music live do gets me in a better mood... we'll se what will happen.

2002-06-06 19:35:49 ET

Atleast you have plans.. unlike some... including me.

2002-06-06 19:39:30 ET

Well... recently because of trying to get involved into art stuff... but before... I could spend several hours doing absolutely nothing... oh well I'm tired and still feeling fucked up.

2002-06-06 19:40:23 ET

I'm sorry. I wish the best for you though.

2002-06-07 20:19:48 ET

whenever I feel lonely...I always escape into some drawing or poetry...or even painting to make me feel better...I have found that music displays my mood...so just mellow out and get the music going

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