Where's my pillow?
2002-06-11 17:46:43 ET

Why is it that when feel so likely to write so much is when I'm not in the right place to write it down here. I only remember that I had a dream this morning in which I killed a person... wow. I don't really know what to say about it. Let's see.

The dream I can't remember what it was about. I only remember that I was with someone next to me (not sure) and that the guy I killed was pssing me off too much. And in the dream as well as in real life I had him too much patience. When someone pisses me off I'm often apathic about it. I think of them as kids and maybe tell the "huh, yeah well, fuck you asshole" and I leave them. And I have to make clear a diference of being pissed off or a bit angry and being mad, because when I do get mad I do can be destructive or insane, but don't worry (if anyone had the remote idea to read this) and don't get mad that easyly, so that's why in my dream I got this wrath into him and hit him with this really huge hammer. I broke all his skull and he was bleeding all over while I was looking at him laughing and smiling so beautifuly insane until I decided it was to lame and leaved him. Within the dream and when I woke up I never felt guilty at all. Now that I remember a bit more... I think that in the dream I was walking at night pissed off of my life and such when suddenly this guy tried to assault me, I guess that irritaed me so.

I have to say that the strange of all this is that I didn't feel panic at all while dreaming so it wasn't a nightmare. When I woke up I didn't feel something strange either. Everything was calmed, but it does put me think in how is that killing a human being in a dream felt so natural in my behavior, but in real life I'm sure it won't be the same.

2002-06-12 05:05:33 ET

i've killed lots of people in my dreams but i never feel guilty but i only dream about that when i have a really bad day. i understand what your saying and i'm glad you don't get mad easily lol :)

2002-06-12 08:05:30 ET

Thank you! :)

2002-06-12 14:46:37 ET

I often have dreams and they make me feel weird or I panic. None are "scary" though:-/. Sometimes I'll have dreams when I feel like I'm awake but I'm just laying there and I can't open my eyes or get up like I'm too weak to do it. Then I realize I'm still sleeping and wake-up like what the fuck.

2002-06-12 14:49:44 ET

Heh, that's strange, but interesting.

2002-06-12 17:30:53 ET

Yeah. I think it freaks me out at times. I only start dreaming that when I haven't had enough sleep and i'm not in a deep sleep.

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