2008-12-17 21:31:57 ET|
Where to start... where to start..
The night before I went into labor (Wensday December 10th); my mother, matt, and I went out to dinner at a sushi place. There, we got the phone call from my midwife about her "back out" of the home birth. Matt and I were pretty upset and stayed up looking for advice from live journal on what we could do. I was scheduled to be induce Friday the 12th. I think we ended up having sex and just falling asleep in each others arms.. hoping we could figure something out.
Thursday morning, at 5am, I woke up with horrible cramping and the urge to poop. I got up, used the bathroom, and came back to bed. I got up another 3 times before 6am with the same urges... and the cramping was just horribly uncomfortable. By 6:15am, I couldn't lay in bed anymore and was rocking from side to side, leaning on the dresser next to my bed. It kinda hit me at that point that I was in labor. I remember what told me in a post awhile back about her cramping making her want to cry... I felt the same way. I woke Matt up and told him I was in pain and not sure what was going on. Then I told him I needed to be on the toilet and sat there for a long time. I noticed the pains were getting a pattern and told Matt to get my laptop so we could time them. He was in the bathroom with me the whole time.
I decided to jump in the bath and relax a bit. Once I got in the bath, they continued and the pains got stronger. I told Matt to call the midwife because I didn't know what we were suppose to do. Matt called Debbie, and got no answer so he left a message. He got ahold of Sara and Kyle and told them it seems like we got labor going on! He then called our Doula and she headed right over. She timed the contractions and called the midwife to let her know that they were lasting a minute and about 1 to 2 minutes apart. The midwife told her to get Matt to pack some bags and get ready to drive to the hospital. While Matt was packing, my cell phone rang and it was the OB I met with the day before. I couldn't answer the phone, nor did I want to talk to anyone on the phone. Matt talked to her, and I could tell he was tense at first about going to the hospital... but calmed down after talking to the OB and packed up the bags. Then we were off!
Laboring in the front seat of a car is not as fun as I thought it'd be. The contractions stayed strong and continued to have multiple peaks during them. We got to the hospital around 9am, and we pulled up to the valet parking in the front. The valet guy had to wait for a contraction to finish before I could get out of the car. I walked 10 steps into the lobby with my Doula (Matt went to get a wheel chair) and had to stop because another contraction was coming. Wheel chair comes, I get in it and we start rolling to the elevator. Again, we stop halfway down the hall because I had another contraction. Every time we stopped, I would get counter pressure on my back and hips from either Matt or my Doula. Finally, we got up to Labor & Delivery, and were put in a room right away. Again, I jumped on the toilet. They had me change into my gown and put on a belly band (for the monitors) and the nurses got to work on putting information in the computer for me. I kept having horrible contractions and back labor.. and could not sit or lay down. I had to stand, each and every time. The nurse put an IV in my hand, and monitors on my belly. She also checked me and I was 4cm dilated, 100% effaced. The breathing techniques I was being told by the Doula was helping me out a lot. My OB came in and was explaining that the nurses are going to be very hands off... and that if I need/want anything, I will have to ask them for it. She told me anything is available for me, and they will find a way to work with me.
Around 10:30-11am.. the contractions just got unbearable. I didn't cave for the epidural, but I wanted something to take the edge off. The nurse gave me Stadol and it helped. I was able to relax after each contraction. I had Matt pushing on my back, the Doula in my face, and my mother and midwife (she arrived later at the hospital) watching and cheering me on. I am glad they sound proofed the hospital walls because I was being very vocal during contractions and my language was foul. The OB checked me again and told me that if I were to relax more, the baby may be able to turn from OP to the right position. She then left. At 12:15am, the back labor was just too much. I was swaying, getting counter pressure, doing anything I could with my birth team to get relief and it wasn't helping. So, I caved. I asked for the epidural because of the pain I was in... I felt like I couldn't breathe during contractions and I thought everyone was getting frusterated with me. I cried through each contraction and kept apologizing until I got it. They gave me a low dosage epidural... I was able to feel some pain but not the back labor. I was also able to move around in bed and change positions.. but they still put in a catheter. As soon as I got it and relaxed, the OB checked me and I was 8cm dilated, 100% effaced. I was in transition. My water still hadn't broke.
Sara finally arrived and everyone calmed down a bit. Matt was by my side the whole time. We all talked and hung out. The tense atmosphere became very mellow.
At 1:15pm, I was checked again. I only had a little rim left (almost 10cm, 100% effaced). I got offered the chance to break my water and "get things moving" and I declined. I told the OB that I would rather them break on their own. I thought Chloe would start the descent down my birth canal and my water would break on its own. We waited about 4 hours and it seemed nothing was going on. I just relaxed and rested. The epidural started to wear off and I could feel pressure on my tailbone and in my butt. I knew it was time to get things going. So, I asked the OB to break my water so we could start pushing. I was asked if I wanted another dose from the epidural and I declined. My water was broken for me, and I started to push when I would get the urge to bare down.
I started on my back pushing and that moved Chloe down a little bit. A bed rail was set up for me and I pushed in a position where it seemed like I was doing a crunch, my arms grabbing the rail in front of me, and my legs spread. It allowed me to be open wide, but it didn't seem to help with bringing Chloe down. She was sitting at 1 station. I was told by my midwife to lay on my side and try pushing that way. I pushed so hard and so much that I pooped. I knew it would happen. The pressure on my tailbone was getting painful, and I felt I was having the urge to bare down way to much. The nurse told me to stop pushing for a little while because Chloe's heart rate was getting high. Can I tell you, it is IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP PUSHING when your body is wanting too. Pushing felt AMAZING! At this moment, my epidural is gone. My legs are kinda numb, but not horribly. I couldn't stand, and being on all fours made me uncomfortable and I couldn't stand being like that... so i went back to my side.
We got near the 2 hour pushing mark, and every time I pushed.. mom would see Chloe's dark hair.. but she was still at 1 station. The OB was trying to stretch me each time I pushed, but I was getting tired. At the 2 and a half hour mark, the OB told me that she didn't think the baby was going to come out vaginally. She told me I could push for 3 more hours and get no progress... so she called for an emergency c-section. She kept talking about this 8 and a half pound baby not coming out. When she left the room, Matt and I just started to cry. Everything we wanted and planned for, didn't happen and the worst possible outcome was happening. My mother was upset. They started to prep me for the c-section (I'm still wanting to push and getting the urges/pressure).. and Matt was given scrubs to put on.
Matt, my mother, and Debbie walked with me to the operating room. Matt wasn't allowed in yet. They prepped me by cutting off the belly band, and cleaning my stomach/shaving some of my pubic hair. I got a very high dose of epidural, which caused my heart to hurt and gas pains to come from my shoulder. The guy in charge of my pain management gave me three other shots and it numbed me completely and took away all pain. I just kept crying though.
They put up the sheet and called Matt in. The doctor doing the surgery told me my tattoo wasn't going to make it. I told him to please cut through my ex-husband's name if possible. Matt sat right next to me the whole time, while i cried and shivered from the epidural. I was given a play by play of what was going on... I couldn't feel pain but I felt pressure and tugging. Soon enough, Matt and I heard her little cry. And my tears from the saddness of being sliced open turned into tears of happiness because she was born.
She stopped crying when she saw Matt. She never took her eyes off of him and he stayed as close as he could to her. They took her to the nursery and Matt went with her. I fell asleep while they stitched me up and stapled me. I was then wheeled into recovery for about 3 hours. I kept falling asleep, then waking up to the nurse getting a phone call. I guess Matt was being very proactive about getting the baby to me so I could breastfeed... and he was asking about my rhogam shot and other medical things that most fathers don't even know about.. and the nurses were very surprised. While I slept/rested, my placenta was sent to the lab because it seems my fever during labor was caused by an infection that came from it. For the life of me, I cannot remember the name of the infection (corio amneosis (SP?)), but I had to start antibiotics. While all of this is going on, Chloe is getting checked out in the nursery. They put an IV in her little hand because of the infection, and she had to do antibiotics for 3 days. Her score was 9/9 and she had no jaundice.
I am finally brought to my hospital room, where my mother and matt are waiting for me. I am put into my bed, and Matt tells me he is going to let my mother stay the night with me and he'll go home with Sara and Kyle. Chloe was brought to me and I was in awe. I was to out of it to breastfeed. My mother had the nurses take Chloe back to the nursery since I was out of it/tired. I fell asleep, but was anxious. I kept having "twilight sleep".
I had visitors the whole time I was in the hospital.
I tried to breastfeed:
and Matt has been helping me out so much.
And we have connected more and more.
It's so wonderful.
We were discharged Sunday night. Chloe weighed 7lbs, 8oz (only lost 2oz) and passed her hearing test and the blood screen they did. The doctor forgot to write my script for pain medication so the midwife gave me a alternative and told me to get ahold of the office in the morning if it doesn't help. All of sunday night and monday (until I got the script), I was in pain. But I have a beautiful, healthy baby. Matt and I are in awe at her, and love her to death. I don't feel like I gave birth though. It feels like I went through labor... and just... had her appear out of no where.. and that saddens me. My c-section makes me a tiny bit bitter, but I will learn to cope with it.
Life goes on, and I think this long ass story is finally completed!