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2003-06-12 19:22:06 ET today i had to deal with the health department and the DMV....i had to get a copy of my birth certificate and renew my drivers license, pretty mundane activity right... but not me, no i had to find a way of making it absurd, i stayed up all night drinking green tea and smoking frop, till at 9 in the morning my dad picked me up and ran me to the health department...no big thing except my dad was half awake and cutting off traffic left and right, and laughing in his sort of insane loopy way (ever since he had his near anuerysm he has never been the same)...when we get there every one just stared at me alot...which was either because of how i was dressed or because i was stoned out of my mind...anyways the paper work gets processed yadda yadda yadda i get it pay and off to the DMV... On the way to the DMV on 54 and keystone (south of the bohemian area called broadripple north of the ghetto in the deneutralized zone) a stick of beef jerky oops i mean a very tanned lady in her 30's knocked on our window obiviously in distress because A. she was having horrible car problems and really needed help ...of.. B. was having horrible crack problems and desparately need some more crack.... a soon as she knocked on the window i screamed really loud as if she had seriously scared me, she sort of motioned me to roll down the window so i knew the con was on...i decided the most civil way of dealing with her need was to keep screaming high pitched like a little girl and yell through the window to "get away from the car, get A-WAY from the car"...she sort of got very shook up by that...and then rolled her eyes at me and sort of half made the motion to roll down the whole window...but i was on to her...i knew the best way to win was to keep screeching like an 8 year old and telling her to get away from the vehicle...she ran quickly after a few seconds of the mantra.... the DMV was just boring, a vaccummed, zip locked, shipped, and delievered version of my generations ADD hell....everyone stared at me there too...but thats okay i made the desk ladies laugh...so i felt i was winner in the end...even though they fleeced me for 19 bucks just to renew my license... |
