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2005-08-20 11:23:31 ET ..to be happy. I was happy. And it went away. I use to be happy. I'm sure you all remember when I was happy. Why does he get to be happy?! We both went through the same thing! He gets to be madly deeply inlove happy and I get to be back where I was 4 years ago before I met him! Its not fair, I know...lifes not fair, but shit. This is fucking ridiculious! Now his new girlfriend has an account on here, it makes me sad. I mean its nice that he's happy, but when am I going to get mine. I did have it, when I was dating the other one, Thomas and I are still friends, but I still want to be more than friends. I really fell for him. I thought after AJ I would never feel for someone like that again, and then I start hanging out with Thomas, and boy did those feelings explode. I never thought I'd be the one to slip like that. I thought I'd become the heart breaker, but nope, I'm always the one that is the heart breakee. It sucks. I would like to date again. I really would, but it makes it hard when you have feelings for someone else. I'm sure thomas and I looked like complete opposites, he being the afro headed, hippie, communist and me being the rebellious, dyed-haired, tattooed, and peirced punk rocker. But we really werent all that different.I hate feeling like this. I hate having time to think about this shit. I need to something to take my mind off of all this......I need something........I want to be loved. |
