2004-12-12 13:48:58 ET

This past month has been an eye-opener both of the the spirit and persona...
I need to focus and concentrate more on important things and talk less of the secondary and more of the first-hand. Experiences, feelings, and outlooks...

More serious entries and more dedication all around. An early New Year and cleansing of sorts all for the better.

The past 24hrs has been 110% Ashton time! We have had sooo much fun with birthday ongoings and bonding with TONS of playtime(*thought i was dedicated before? -LOL.)
I have been down the past 24 hrs. on the note of my ex-g/f not even attempting to wish him Happy Birthday. They WERE totally close and she was like a 2nd mom to him. Well, she called yesterday about some stuff she misplaced but NOT to wish him "Happy B-day." Today she called me back again, after prodding her and straight-out asking her: "Do you wanna wish Ashton Happy B-day?" did she attempt to. ?!?!?!

I mean, a big part of us splitting up was the fact she is the type of person that needs conveinence. I REALY understand that now especially looking back on how many times we had ever gone out to eat(for example) -i had never been out to eat that much EVER!
I chalk up her lack of enthusiasm towards wishing my son "Happy B-day" as "NOT CONVEINENT" for 1 reason or another....

I mean, i'm a single Dad who has split custody...not exactally the easiest of lifestyles for a scenester(of sorts) to dedicate themselves to...

I still love her as a friend and as a wonderful inspiring person. But I now know, what we had was for the "THEN"/"NOW" because it was conveinent and *MAYBE* she needed a break of sorts from her busy friend-driven lifestyle.
I dunno...
Still trying to figure my friend(/ex) out.
Maybe it's best to just let it be...but there's definately something to learn from this(? a couple friends of mine just chalk it up to her being an : "ARIES Girl"!??! -LOL)

I have completely moved on from the aspect from us EVER getting back together.

Besides...i'm enjoying the single life waaaay to much....sooo much variety.

Either way...i'd still never miss her bday and WILL always be there for her when she needs me.
That's the type of friend i am....

...Off now to watch TMNT.
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