2004-10-15 00:28:08 ET

I have been really "off" lately...

I am at a point in my life where i need advice from someone i look up to.
Problem being, I have really never looked up to anyone really. I have always set the pace, Made the waves,& Been there for ppl. Now that i need advice, the only person that comes to mind i would even dreaming of going to for such needed council is hard to reach. That, and i haven't seen nor talked them in nearly 2yrs.(*because we have lost track of each other....)

Needless to say, when/if i reach this person they won't have any clue to what i need advice on nor the elements. I have never been "BIG" on being close to ppl as far as having "best friends" and "ppl i can tell EVERYTHING too" so easing myself to the point where i even feel i could use advice is a big step for me. I think i get this from my parents. They have never had close friends that i can remember. Even my Dad's 'NAM pal Tom would come around like? once every 2 weeks or so...? This was someone my Dad rode with(hogs) and went to school with...
I'm to the point i wannna know why i put up this wall.

People who know me know i'm NOT anti-social....weird... but not anti-social...
I dunno.

It's 2:30am.
I am gonna try to put my problems outta my head for the sake of sleep.


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