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2004-04-29 10:45:21 ET "Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun." I'm afraid lately of so many things and I know that it's manifesting itself in my relationship. My poor boyfriend; He's so good to me and I just keep flaking out... We've pretty much always been straight with one another. Things are just all piling up lately, with school being almost over for the year and Jen leaving for Germany today...The future seems so damn far away and I'm busting my ass to get there and I can't help but wonder why. Why am I working this all alone? My school loan is so close to paid off, My car is getting there. What the hell is it that I'm running so fast toward anyway? It's not like anyone is going to be there waiting when I get there. And I'm thinking three years is a damn long time and waiting around for other people to catch up to my frantic running-toward-my-destiny pace is going to be even longer. And even then, are we going to make it? Make the cut? Can we? This show business has me pissed off too. The man wants to go see the Bouncing Souls next Friday. I want him to be able to go, but he doesn't want to spend the money because he's trying to save to go to May's (I think they are in May) HepCat shows. I wish that he had the money to go to both. But then, I wish a lot of things... Under A Telephone Pole - Carl Sandburg "I am a copper wire slung in the air, Slim against the sun I make not even a clear line of shadow. Night and day I keep singing--humming and thrumming: It is love and war and money; it is the fighting and the tears, the work and want, Death and laughter of men and women passing through me, carrier of your speech, In the rain and the wet dripping, in the dawn and the shine drying, A copper wire." |
