2007-01-23 12:46:44 ET

So I'll look to here for advise in this matter.

A female friend of mine is getting married to a one time male friend of mine. We all used to be close and do stuff together and whatnot. Then at some point the guy completely blew me off. To the point where the only words I've spoken to him in...7 years has been "hey." I believe his feelings toward me are from his one time perception that I was trying to steal his girlfriend (soon to be wife).

Back then -- this was not the case, because I wasn't trying to take her. I still don't fully understand why he came to dislike me. But -- regardless - - he doesn't. Though, during all this, the girl and I remained friends. Nothing was exchanged between us until last Christmas -- of which, I hadn't seen her in...4 years. So, it was mainly to see an old friend...though via high % of alcohol and many shots it turned into kissing and whatnot. No sex and the like -- I wouldn't allow it.

Well -- now that they're getting married in October she wants me to attend the wedding. I wouldn't mind going for her, but I don't want to show up to their special day and ruin it for the guy because I'm there. Possibly bringing back all the anger and whatnot he held for me in the past.

So -- this is what I told her, the only way I'd attend is if he invited me himself. I need him to make that mental decision of saying it, and to not be surprised by my presence there. Telling her that was greeted by quite a bit of silence -- mainly because, I don't think he'll actually invite me -- and she knows it too. But, as much as I'd like to go for her sake, I can't just show up to the wedding of someone who hates me, and someone who likes me. Meh.

So, should I go or no? Opinions?

2007-01-23 12:55:27 ET

it really depends on a lot.
especially more recent christmas thing, she was with this guy then or what?

2007-01-23 13:21:57 ET

She's been with the guy since...she was 15 or 16. She's 22 now. Its been her only boyfriend. So you know -- during that time period she was within the "I wonder what I'm missing." She had made out with a few other guys at the bars in phoenix.

At that time -- I didn't think that they should get married...but I guess things have changed, or rather -- she's done wondering, and is staying with him. Though, once she is married -- our communication is just about over. I refuse to do anything with married women. When they are merely dating -- that's a bit different.

2007-01-24 10:50:38 ET

romans have taken the savanna?

2007-01-24 13:47:33 ET

but not the tundra.

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