actually, if he was smart enough to construct a one-way cam for each wrist he probably COULD have crucified himself. But it sounds like he didn't realize that it all depends on the proper suspension of one's rib cage.
I once saw a kid throwing a tantrum in a grocery store because she wanted some kind of sugary cereal.. the mom just sort of leaned over the cart, waiting while the kid shreiked and kicked on the floor, and finally hosed the kid down with some water from the evian bottle she had in the cart. The kid sputtered and got all shocked, but she stopped crying. The mom asked if she was finished, the kid nodded, and they continued shopping.