You are a Deconstructionist Weirdo. Although ostensibly originating with Derrida, the theories of your particular school have long since passed beyond intellegibillity; half the time you don't even understand what you're saying anymore. That's okay, though. You're a lot more fun to party with than a bunch of stodgy new historicists.
You are a Theory Slut. The true elite of the postmodernists, you collect avant-garde Indonesian hiphop compilations and eat journal articles for breakfast. You positively live for theory. It really doesn't matter what kind, as long as the words are big and the paragraph breaks few and far between.