The new endangered species
2004-02-16 08:06:18 ET

I was asked today how it is that I'm still so chivalrous in this day and age. She was surprised to hear how attentive I am to myGirl and wonders why there aren't more guys like me in the world.
I told her "We're out there, you just have to sort through the shit for a long time before you find us".

But here's a warning to all those typical guys out there. We are disposable.

We're no longer needed. Women are just as capable in arts, science and politics, among all the other facets of society. But the few things that once marked our necessity have been replaced by:

1) Sperm Banks. Women can keep the human race going with just a few men donating sperm every few years (lotsa sperm from just one guy, and if they were all used could populate a city)

2) The Vicegrip. You know the ones. As seen on tv. The rubber thingy that'll fit around any jar lid and gives you leverage to open the l'il fucker.

3) Stepladders. Men are generally (not in my case) taller than women and usually choose a partner who is significantly smaller then he is. But with a stepladder, women can reach those things they once relied on men to reach.

4) Sextoys. I don't even have to explain this one.

So all you guys out there (SK members or otherwise), really look at your relationship with your girlfriend and ask yourself "How much does she really need me". Cause chances are, she doesn't.

She's just putting up with you.

2004-02-16 08:08:47 ET

*dies laughing*
awww.. well, there are many things about men that make them important enough to not be dispensable.

2004-02-16 08:10:17 ET

K. Name some.
And more than one. Cause one isn't enough.
If you can come up with 10, I'll post them in a follow up for more discussion.

2004-02-16 08:14:59 ET

1- sex toys are all fine and good, but they just don't compare to sex with a man.
2- warm snuggliness at night; most guys are natural furnaces and are good to curl up with in bed.
3- spider killing: rather self explanatory.
4- back massages: men are generally stronger than women, and can massage for longer without whining that their hands are starting to hurt

I'll get back to you on the rest..

2004-02-16 08:28:54 ET

This has got to be one of the cutest posts I have read in awhile.

2004-02-16 11:05:38 ET

Syb, you're going to have to come up with 3 more:

1- That's the one good point. Sex with a man is good. So I've been told *shifty eyes*.
2- They make body pillows you can heat up and wrap your legs around. They're all soft and come in an array of patterns and colours.
3- AB&B Termite and Pest Control is female owned. So there has to be others willing to open up similar businesses.
4- Here are just 9 devices that can give you a great massage for as long as you want.

2004-02-16 11:55:56 ET

We never needed each other. Some of us just enjoy being together without counting up our qualifications and faults.

3) Stepladders: No one would need these if they engaged in some kind of plymetric activity everyday.

2004-02-16 18:16:13 ET

....I don't know why, but this post makes me like you SO MUCH MORE than ever I did before. Which was a good deal to begin with.

What about love though? What about that 'it makes my body and heart tingle to be in the same room as you' feeling? What about not the sex, but the making of the love? I do not know of any substitutions for such things.

2004-02-17 03:27:44 ET

Neko- I'm sure we could get some pills for that. Either to simulate or suppress those feelings.

Don't get me wrong, I really think that the vast majority of people out there, male and female, truly need someone to move through life with. All I'm pointing out is that guys should be a whole shitload more considerate than what's fast becoming the normal trend.

Men are visual creatures. That's why Playboy and videogames and action movies appeal to them more than they do to women. Women are social and cerebral creatures.
Women appeal to men cause they look good.
Men appeal to women cause they're smart? Not by the way things are going these days.
Men start wars.
Men ensalve.
Men beat women.

You can't honestly say the same things about women. At least not to any measurable degree.

What would have happened if women had been in charge of the world? Look back at all the plagues, wars and general atrocities throughout history and up to the present day. Were any women involved? Do you think a group of women in 1930s Germany would have come up with the idea to eradicate as many Jews as they could? Or would women have enslaved African people and dragged them to America?

Would a woman be so daft to send troops over to Iraq in search of weapons that weren't there?

Maybe. Maybe not. I just think that men are a foolish bunch and that we have to be aware that we've worked ourselves out of the loop.
Sex or "making love", or however you want to describe the male/female compatibility, are trivial things when compared to the damage men have done in the past.
Imagine what the world would be like if it went through a century of 90% female population. The medical advances, the enviromental clean-up, the improved living conditions for all.

There's a reason why nature is refered to as "Mother".

It all just comes down to being good to the woman you love and listening to her. If a guy can do that, then it's a start. If someone were to do research (if it hasn't already been done) on the wives of the most liberal and benevolent leaders and figureheads of the past, I'm sure you'd find that they listened to their wives and were good husbands to them.

At the end of the day, though, I'm good to theGirl because she deserves no less, not because I'm disposable or replaceable. Just because I want to be.

2004-02-17 04:54:24 ET

*hugs the cat because he's phenomenal*

It's men like you that make up for the assholes out there.

2004-02-17 06:15:38 ET

For every 1 of me, there's a battalion of morons who can't see past the beer in front of them. We're rare, but were out there.

I reckon Derek's another of the good 'uns. Otherwise you wouldn't be with him.

2004-02-17 06:18:14 ET

Derek is phenomenal.. one of the best people I've ever met. :)

and true enough.. there are SO many assholes out there.. *sigh* it's sad, really.

2004-02-17 19:32:08 ET

But that's why the good ones are so cherished and special.

2004-02-18 17:55:01 ET

well its true

2004-02-18 19:07:12 ET

Let me just say, with a big contented smile plastered all over my face...

The REAL men are gay. ;)

oh, and we don't have to worry about that whole women not wanting/needing us anymore.

Perhaps this is the way of the future?

Women become strong, and completely independant, breeding and what-not, working in the same league as men, but men get all the action!


2004-02-18 19:44:57 ET

But what about the warm fuzzy snuggles? ;___; WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE SNUGGLES!!

2004-02-18 19:47:55 ET

Who needs to snuggle when there is HOT MAN-ON-MAN ACTION!?!

They can snuggle afterwards when they are all shagged out. ;)

2004-02-18 19:50:24 ET

Cuddling is for pansy-men. The best thing after HOT MAN-ON-MAN ACTION is for one of them to push the other out of the bed so he can sprawl there, slick with sweat, dragging on a cigarette while the other smirks at him, gets his clothes on, calls him a bitch and walks off.. or something...

2004-02-18 20:02:31 ET

I don't like hot man on man action. ;_;

2004-02-18 20:17:38 ET


Hot man-on-man sex makes the world go 'round! ;)

...and I like that idea too, Syb ;)

2004-02-18 20:26:17 ET

*just purrrrrs*

2004-02-19 03:54:29 ET

Well then.
Good thought provoking conversation has been thoroughly defenestrated.

2004-02-19 12:35:58 ET

that promoted quite a visual
i cant say whether im aroused or disturbed.
i liked the part about the one calling the other a bitch though, that was a very nice touch.

2004-02-19 12:37:21 ET


2004-02-19 19:31:13 ET

I think you guys should be talking to YO-TAN about the hot man on man action. *hides in corner*

2004-02-20 03:42:45 ET

this just is not what i was hoping to be the end result.

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