Ooooo, lookit me!    2003-02-11 23:20:55 ET
Thanks Ali!

 My so-called life.    2003-02-10 15:32:07 ET
Part 1.

I am such a fucking assshole

I broke up with my girl.

I was feeling uncertain, undecicive, and I really didn't want to hurt her, as she was obviously starting to feel something for me, and I'm just a confused basket case all fucked up in the head, and, I guess, incapable of giving, right about now.

So even though I suppose it's for the best..

I still feel like a major asshole.

ADDENDUM: Oh, and I did it on the phone, on the week before Valentine's day.

I should be dragged out to the street and shot.


Part 2.

I am such a fucking pig

Went to the pub tonight to drink away my sorrows and such. Met up ith the usual gang of idiots. Then later me and Noa went to eat at this 24hr meatery.
We pigged out like only me n' her can. It was fun, we had a barrel of laughs.. Got me cheered up a bit from my otherwise-gloomy evening.

I ate large quanitities of meat, 3 times today.

My tummy wants me dead.

 phone convo.    2003-02-09 05:43:52 ET
people who are still in the army are weird.

That's all I have to say.

:: Listening to: Smashing Pumpkins - Jellybelly ::


 mmm    2003-02-09 03:44:35 ET
Woke up damn late, and rode off to Jerusalem. I haven't seen the gang in ages, and it was about time I did my bi-monthly-or-so visit. Met up with Ariel, fixed his computer n' stuff, Maayan, Mushon (the gas pumper. "I believe".), and Ravid. We ate some yummy food (the food was victorious over us) and then I rode off home, in the pouring rain...

:: Listening to: Absurd Minds - Deception ::

 trying to ruin something good    2003-02-07 17:16:04 ET
So, yeah, people have been bugging me to update.
Love you guys! It shows you all care.

Reason I haven't updated in a while is because my boss has been around the office all week, so I can't surf freely much anymore :/

Anyway, so what has been going on... Hmm.. Well, office work is office work, nothing new there.

The party on monday sucked major assness, thank god for soft drugs and Yemenite food. There's supposed to be a good brit/synth-pop party soon. Hope that won't suck.

The rest of the week was pretty blank, till yesterday.

After work I got home, got my shit together and spontaniously went to the Shy Nobleman concert. It rawked. I went by myself, which was sort of weird, but I met there quite a few people I know, so it turned out good. I really enjoyed myself there.
Later on I went to the usual EBM club, and met my girl..
She came to sleep over and stuff.
I honestly don't know where things are going with her.. I'm thinking that's not what she wanted to hear, when she asked. I'm such a basket case, I hate myself.
Woke up pretty early, went to my grandfather's grave.. It's been a year since he passed away. It was again pretty weird to see grandma crying. I don't know. Until he died I never saw her cry in my life. I don't think I knew old people could cry or something. It's odd... Or maybe it's just that I'm odd.
When I got back home I flopped to sleep till dinner.
When I did finally get up, it was already pretty late, and I wasn't in the mood for partying (even though Aya called and wantedme to come with to soem free techno party), so I called my ol' army chum Avi (who SMSed me even before I called him, though I was planning on calling him anyway) and I came over to his place, we watched Storytelling, and then went out to the Irish Pub with some other friends. A few beers later we found ourselves at this meatery (misa told me that you guys don't get goose meat around ..? Well, we do, anyway).
Now I'm back home...
Feeling all weird and tingly inside.
Kinda cold too.
I'm such a fuck up inside my head... I never know what I want or who I am.

This song describes my current mood, even though most of you don't know it:

:: Listening to: Yirmi Kaplan - Hadafook Hazeh ::

ADDENDUM: While sleeping tis afternoon I dreamed, and I tried really hard to remember it, by uttering a few descriptive words, to bringit to my conscious mind. I was in a chapter of OZ, possibly a season finale, or the first chapter of one. I'm standing from the viewpoint of an inmate, possibly new inmates. Mcmanos (well it's not him, but it's supposed to be him.. I don't remember who it is) is started to talk about something like "Welcome to Oswald correctional facility", then someone walks up to him from behind really fast grabs him by the neck and say something. It was a three word sentencebut a meaningful one (of course I don't remember him now). The guy who nabs him (possibly knifing him -- - And by this time Mcmanos is sort of me) has long black hair, palish face, and black stuff arond his eyes. Sort of what Rob Zombie would look like without a beard. I'm also sort of him, too. Ugh.. I remembered what he said.. It was something profound, a la "now it begins" or something to that extent...

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