Bedtime stories
2005-06-20 02:49:47 ET

Once upon a time, in the land of Telaviv, lived a young comics store clerk.
He was a happy-go-lucky chap, though he was very poor.
One day, a fat lady came into the store.
"Where's the Buffy memorobillia?? I NEED IT." Said the lady.
"Uhm, actually, we're all out of Buffy merchandise at this time, miss." answered the comics store clerk apologetically.
"Lies!!!" said the fat lady. "Where are you hiding them?? We need our Buffy things NOW!!" she yelled, her face turning red.
"No, miss, honestly, the series ended ages ago, they're not putting out new merchandise.." said the comics store clerk, motioning with his hands to calm down.
"WHY DO YOU HIDE THEM FROM US?? I CAN SMELL YOUR LIES, BOY." said the lady, who as rage consumed her, seemed to be turning older and older. By the time the sentence was finished, she looked like she was at least 100 years old.
"Look, ma'am, I'm not lying. We have no Buffy crap." said the comics store clerk, and shook his head. "Another name to the loony-list," thought the clerk.
"But can I offer you the latest issue of Joss Whedon's X-Men perhaps?" suggested the comics store clerk.
"You'll regret this, puny boy!" she screamed. "If you do not supply our Buffy requirements by midnight, you will turn into a toad!!" said the old fat hag.
"No, you'll regret this," said the clerk, and pulled out from under the counter a chopped shotgun, and promptly blasted the old fat witch to kingdom come.
"sigh," he thought. "So many lost souls."
The End.

2005-06-20 06:23:01 ET

Buffy fanatics are lunatics. *shudders*

2005-06-20 07:39:24 ET

all is true

except for the poor part ;)

2005-06-20 09:19:40 ET

man, i've seen my share of buffy fanatics go into wade's and let me tell you, this isn't that far from truth.

whya re they always old overwieght women?

2005-06-20 13:07:37 ET

you're a badass.

2005-06-20 14:21:54 ET


I salute your method of handling these people. :)

2005-06-20 14:56:51 ET

that is the coolest story i've ever read.

2005-06-21 05:16:50 ET

Miss O-Doom - I know. O_o

Noa - I am poor, and you're not getting Lucifer 6 even though it's THE BEST TRADE OF THEM ALL.

Meghan - Yep. Based on a true story. I don't mind them being old fat hairy smelly hags. If they were young attractive women, it would be sad for me to keep having to kill them.
BTW, I may have encountered Wade's store on my eBay excursions. Small world.

Angel - You know it.

Drake - This has actually happened several times. OH THE HUMANITY.

klem - Why thank yee :) *bows*

2005-06-21 09:02:57 ET

haha, wades ebay store. thats what my boyfriend does all day at work. list shit on ebay.

2005-06-21 10:29:26 ET

Ooo, sweet. Tell him to list Madman tpbs real cheap. ^_^

2005-07-19 08:35:42 ET

God, I need to focus on money.

2005-07-19 11:11:48 ET

She has a mini-stargate?

2005-07-19 11:48:56 ET


but not the one with the slave in it.

2005-07-20 03:42:23 ET

They'd have to be mini-slaves to fit in that.

2005-07-24 15:10:32 ET

Buffy fans, I've never met a -real- scary buffy fan like that.. But I happen to like Buffy. It's so corny it's amusing.

2005-07-24 15:21:14 ET

Spike's cool

2005-07-25 06:53:25 ET

I have no quarrel with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's only a TV show.

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