Another dumb survey to pass the time...
2003-01-30 01:01:08 ET

Stolen from Liron

I should warn you. I'm in a crumby mood, and it'll reflect in the results.

I AM NOT: pleased with myself. (This is how I got it from Liron, and I'm keeping it that way).
I WAS: A different person, once.
I WAS NEVER: Happy with who I am.
I WILL BE: truly happy, someday. I hope.
I WILL: seize the day. Live in the now. Stop procrastinating.
I WILL NOT: Become that which I despise.
I LIKE: ... Stuff. I'm not sure.
I LOVE: ... Lately,I'm not passionate about anything.
I DISLIKE: Pain. Angst. Drama. The utter aloneness. Cellphones. Israeli culture.
I HATE: Nothing.
I WANT: To find peace. Maybe within myself, maybe with the help of others. True love would be nice, too.
I NEED: To start living for myself.
I DONT WANT: to die. Not yet.
I DONT NEED: all my fucking insecurities.
I SHOULDN'T: follow; I should lead.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE: guts.
I'D LIKE TO OWN: A small isolated island. I'd settle for a apartment, though.
I LISTEN: to all sorts of music.
I EAT: pseudo-food.
I DRINK: alcohol almost daily.
I SMOKE: mood-altering substances, but only when I\'m invited.
I DRESS: whatever I feel comfortable in.
I LAUGH: from brittish, macabre, and cynical/sarcastic humor
I DRIVE: a lot, and I hate it.
I PLAY: Bass guitar. The aren't any games worth playing being made anymore.
I CRY: when I'm pained.
I YELL: at other drivers. On the road, everyone's a maniac. Other than that I'm a pretty rational person.
I DREAM: but almost never remember.
I FEEL: emotions very intensely. I try to keep them buried deep down, though.
I MAKE: myself sick.
I SAY: to myself all sorts of stuff and never do them.
I WISH I COULD: change.
I WISH I WAS: someone else.
I WISH I WASN'T: so fucked up deep down inside.
I AM HAPPY: when I forget.
I AM HORNY: constantly.
I LOVE MYSELF: What's there to love?
I WANT TO ______RIGHT NOW: go home.
I WANT TO ______ TOMORROW: sleep like sane people do.


2003-01-30 01:11:58 ET

depressing. one kiss for every dismenor here. fuck your insecurities. fuck mine too. we dont need them. drop them.

i heart you, shay. dont be sad. i even dreamt about you. and israeli culture and cellphones... haha... ironically i posted my dream before i read this.

2003-01-30 01:23:32 ET

i might fill that out

sometime

hmmmmm

2003-01-30 01:53:21 ET

and everyone go all surveyish lately.

2003-01-30 03:03:39 ET

Becky <3 you!!!

Bizzaro dream you had there...

Heh. :) We be on same wavelength.

2003-01-30 04:38:41 ET

I AM NOT: a matriculated grad student, pro writer, owner of working car.
I WAS: small at one point.
I WAS NEVER: sane or in a stable family situation.
I WILL BE: sucessful and fully independent of drunks who spawned me.
I WILL: get into the damned library science program.
I WILL NOT: Succumb to my urge to build a car/computer/Rutger Hauer as Roy Baty clone for the express purpose of world domination or tormenting my exes.
I LIKE: movies, reading, writing, snotty cartoons, webcomics, surveys.
I LOVE: My bf, my friends...other than that, not very passionate about much.
I DISLIKE: those damned earthlings and this cockamamie rule that I have to apply for citezenship lest i get deported to Mars...grr...
I HATE: waking up with a headache and a stiff neck at 6 in the morning.
I WANT: normal mood swings.
I NEED: To stop letting comments from exes and mother regarding my weight get to me. To recognize that I am not perfect.
I DONT WANT: to burn out mentally.
I DONT NEED: bad body image, insecurities, anxiety, that nasty floor lamp in my room.
I SHOULDN'T: eat on the go, just go along with others, procrastinate.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE: more assertiveness.
I'D LIKE TO OWN: A house, a car that starts on the first go.
I LISTEN: to everything save rap, country and most top 40.
I EAT: on the go and not too often. I have to sop doing that.
I DRINK: an obscene amount of coffee.
I SMOKE: cloves out the window.
I DRESS: whatever is black, comfy and appropriate for work.
I LAUGH: pretty easily
I DRIVE: hopefully a Saturn L200...failing that, it is back to the chevy poop mobile that has acceleration issues.
I PLAY: Nintendo and JT's blocks at work.
I CRY: not often.
I YELL: I seethe, actually.
I DREAM: and feel disoriented when i wake.
I FEEL: exhaustion too damned intensely sometimes.
I MAKE: various pamphlet records, some foodstuffs, occasionally mixed drinks...which should be offered to Total Eclipse *hands over concoction of Ginger Ale, Pineapple juice and vodka*.
I SAY: bah!
I WISH I COULD: change.
I WISH I WAS: someone with a normal family.
I WISH I WASN'T: depressed, cynical, a pocket oscar levant (he made a comedy routine based on his various mental ilnesses).
I AM HAPPY: when with friends.
I AM HORNY: I read LOTR slash porn at my second job. nuff said.
I LOVE MYSELF: too conditionally
I WANT TO ______RIGHT NOW: sleep.
I WANT TO ______ TOMORROW: buy a new car.

2003-01-30 04:49:22 ET

Yea, how come when I filled out my goddamn survay everone gave me the cold shoulder? Yea, that's right, FUCK ALL Y'ALL.

Shay: Awww, not being able to sleep doesn't make one crazy...at least it better not.

2003-01-30 04:51:13 ET

*drinks up*
you read lord of the ring slash porn..??? wtf is that???

2003-01-30 05:24:38 ET

pornogrphic fan fiction regarding lotr....er, yeah, i crossed to fine line from horny to pervert.\
dammit, i was bored!

2003-01-30 05:25:38 ET

you didn't just corss it hon; you fuckin leaped deep into enemy lines!!

2003-01-30 05:33:26 ET

...as i said, i was bored.....

2003-01-30 05:37:24 ET

rrrrright, when I'm bored I stare at the wall.

2003-01-30 05:40:56 ET

When I'm bored, I go to the backroom and look through all the supplys to see if there's anything I could use at home, heh heh.

2003-01-30 11:24:08 ET

(grin) you know it. lol. how weird is that? are you feeling better, dear?

2003-01-30 16:21:38 ET

yup. :) nothing like alcohol to swing my mood to a brighter place.

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