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2005-04-18 20:30:06 ET
dont know anything anymore.
i dont know myself anymore.
i am going thru such hardcore shit right now, it doesnt even seem to be real.
am i caught in my own nightmare.
everyone is telling me the same thing. the more i hear it the more i hate myself and wonder how anyone can even look at me.
why cant i be an old woman who has already gone thru this shit life and be in my deathbed.
i thought this shit whud end with everything else, yet it creeps up on me everytime.
how cant i talk to my mom when she just thinks im feeling sorry for myself, why cant she see it goes way deeper than anything remotely in that category.
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