The stories people tell.
2003-12-12 18:47:05 ET

So something kinda interesting played itself out at work.
Because I go to school, college funding comes up a lot with the people I work with. One of my co-workers, Doug, announced that he was saving all he could for his children (of 9 and 11). Brooke (another co-worker) told us about how her parents refused to help her pay for school.

She was too young to be separate from her parent’s earnings, so she stuck without any financial aid. Her only chance to get out of this was to show proof of abuse or get married. So she got married. She and one of her best friends, who happened to be gay, married for convenience. They stayed married until they were out of school. Her divorce was finalized about three months ago.

While I found this to be amusing, Doug got angry at Brooke. Making off the wall accusations like “If I were gay would you marry me too?” He felt that what Brooke did was wrong and actually refused to talk to her the rest of the day.

Just for the sake of conversation.. what do you think about marriages of convenience?

2003-12-12 18:52:35 ET

i dunno if i could do it. it's really what the convenience is that determines its usefulness. in this case, i agree with it. because college is a spendy-ass institution and a lot of people have trouble coming up with the money. it's an inventive solution and i support it.

2003-12-12 19:22:43 ET

Yeah. I feel pretty much the same. She admitted to it having a bigger effect on her than she thought it would. They couldn't look each other in the eye for a couple of days.

2003-12-12 20:13:53 ET

I think it really depends on the circumstance.

2003-12-12 20:16:30 ET

Yes. people have gotten married for worse reasons.

2003-12-12 20:23:18 ET

In her case, I have no problem with it.. as long as both parties were ok with it.

2003-12-12 20:29:22 ET

I don't think I could do it. I have tried to think of any situation where I could see myself entering that kind of agreement. I can't think of one.

2003-12-12 20:31:45 ET

I think I probably could.. but I'm weird like that.

2003-12-12 20:35:50 ET

I don't think it takes weird to do it. I think its more like, courage. I'd chicken out

2003-12-12 20:40:18 ET

I wouldn't see it as much of a courage thing, to be honest. Just a thing.

2003-12-12 20:52:14 ET

upon pondering, i think it'd be weird when you later find someone you truly want to marry and you have to explain why you married that first person. they'll think you think marriage is no big deal and things could sour.

man, thinking sucks.

2003-12-12 20:58:00 ET

not if they understood the reasons.

2003-12-12 21:00:14 ET

depends on the person you end up trying to marry for real, i suppose.

2003-12-13 09:01:32 ET

I would hope that the person you wanted to marry for real would be open and understanding enough to see why you'd done it previously.

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