The Power of Christ Impales you.
2004-01-11 22:32:13 ET

I think I just saw the worst movie ever made.
Itís a little flick filmed in Canada that entitles itself

JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER

It is badly filmed. The dialogue left much to be desired. Itís portrayal of Christians, Atheists, Lesbians, and Mexican wrestlers will offend the above mentioned.
The ending songÖ.... ďItís ok, itís all right. Everyone gets laid tonight.Ē

I giggle while mourning the time I will never get back.


2004-01-11 22:33:25 ET

some movies are so bad they're painful. that sounds like one of those.

2004-01-11 22:34:11 ET

hah! that movie goes from bad to good all the way back to bad again.

2004-01-11 22:34:33 ET

No it begins at bad and gets worse from there

2004-01-11 22:36:14 ET

thats what i mean, its so horrible it goes beyond good in a campy way.

2004-01-11 22:36:19 ET

did you at least get some quality christploitation out of it?

2004-01-11 22:38:42 ET

If you call "quality christpolitation" God appearing as a bowl of ice cream and cherries and a side kick named Mary Magnum?

2004-01-11 22:52:37 ET

well, I was hoping for cheesy double entendres about religious themes like someone dropping something on their foot and yelling "jesus fucking christ" only to have jesus say "say what?"

And of course black jesus will always have a special place in my heart along side those creepy Aryan jesuses with blonde hair and blue eyes. now that's quality christploitation--quaranteed to offend.

2004-01-11 22:53:39 ET

sorry to just jump in.

One: The title should have told ya that it was going to bite!
JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER!<---See!? Hahahah It reminds me of a comic book I saw awhile back titled BATTLE POPE AND HIS SIDEKICK CHRIST. And no I am not jokking here the series lasted for about three months.

2004-01-11 22:54:38 ET

Jesus in this film had brown hair and eyes. The to hunt the vampires he had to shave his head and peirce both ears with large gage earrings. Yes they accually showed him getting his ears peirced

2004-01-11 22:56:23 ET

hmmmm? Hahahaha! An updated jesus! *rolls on the floor* Well atleast they tried to make it funny....... X.X

2004-01-11 22:56:24 ET

jesus rocks

2004-01-11 22:57:47 ET

I'm sure he does.

2004-01-11 22:58:03 ET

Yes he does and he fights lesbian vampires well. *grimeses*

2004-01-11 22:59:23 ET

O.o lesbian vamps... That's a twist... *thinks* nope I can't remeber a movie with les vampires...

!!! It's buffy gone wrong!

2004-01-11 23:00:50 ET

there is a movie called something like vampiros lesbos. that's a true prize if it's in you local video store.

2004-01-11 23:01:54 ET

Yes. Hard to imagine but it is worse than Buffy. (the tv show... the movie rocked)

2004-01-11 23:02:48 ET

really? I feel so...incomplete! I really enjoy a good bloody movie. Like resident evil, Seven blades, and All the jason,freddy,and H2O movies!

2004-01-11 23:03:50 ET

oh man, then you're missing all the quality euro-trash

2004-01-11 23:04:47 ET

like? I am a fan of Amera-trash myself! But I'll watch anything once.

2004-01-11 23:04:53 ET

This blood was quite fake. You could tell it was syrup

2004-01-11 23:05:57 ET

man that's sad even the guys I went to high school with make realistic blood in 2000

2004-01-11 23:08:04 ET

The sad part was this film was made only two years ago.

2004-01-11 23:08:26 ET

dead anime--check out directors like dario argento, mario bava, jess(e) franco, and jean rollin. they produce trash like noone else.

haha corn syrup blood. that's the best...well, next to paint.

2004-01-11 23:14:40 ET

thanks for the names I will have to look into those sometime

2004-01-11 23:16:20 ET

My favorite part was the random preaching from some guy in the bushes. The scripture he was quoting had nothing to do with the movie

2004-01-11 23:17:00 ET

? that's no fun. Well night I think I have had it for today.

2004-01-11 23:17:17 ET

cool. the euros seem to like gratuitous sex more, so yeah...expect trash :P

oh, and how could I forget--fulci makes zombie flicks.

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