The Power of Christ Impales you.

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 22:32:13 ET I think I just saw the worst movie ever made. It’s a little flick filmed in Canada that entitles itself JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER It is badly filmed. The dialogue left much to be desired. It’s portrayal of Christians, Atheists, Lesbians, and Mexican wrestlers will offend the above mentioned. The ending song….... “It’s ok, it’s all right. Everyone gets laid tonight.” I giggle while mourning the time I will never get back.

analog sky 2004-01-11 22:33:25 ET some movies are so bad they're painful. that sounds like one of those.

Lokichilde 2004-01-11 22:34:11 ET hah! that movie goes from bad to good all the way back to bad again.

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 22:34:33 ET No it begins at bad and gets worse from there

Lokichilde 2004-01-11 22:36:14 ET thats what i mean, its so horrible it goes beyond good in a campy way.

analog sky 2004-01-11 22:36:19 ET did you at least get some quality christploitation out of it?

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 22:38:42 ET If you call "quality christpolitation" God appearing as a bowl of ice cream and cherries and a side kick named Mary Magnum?

analog sky 2004-01-11 22:52:37 ET well, I was hoping for cheesy double entendres about religious themes like someone dropping something on their foot and yelling "jesus fucking christ" only to have jesus say "say what?" And of course black jesus will always have a special place in my heart along side those creepy Aryan jesuses with blonde hair and blue eyes. now that's quality christploitation--quaranteed to offend.

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 22:53:39 ET sorry to just jump in. One: The title should have told ya that it was going to bite! JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER!<---See!? Hahahah It reminds me of a comic book I saw awhile back titled BATTLE POPE AND HIS SIDEKICK CHRIST. And no I am not jokking here the series lasted for about three months.

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 22:54:38 ET Jesus in this film had brown hair and eyes. The to hunt the vampires he had to shave his head and peirce both ears with large gage earrings. Yes they accually showed him getting his ears peirced

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 22:56:23 ET hmmmm? Hahahaha! An updated jesus! *rolls on the floor* Well atleast they tried to make it funny....... X.X

analog sky 2004-01-11 22:56:24 ET jesus rocks

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 22:57:47 ET I'm sure he does.

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 22:58:03 ET Yes he does and he fights lesbian vampires well. *grimeses*

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 22:59:23 ET O.o lesbian vamps... That's a twist... *thinks* nope I can't remeber a movie with les vampires... !!! It's buffy gone wrong!

analog sky 2004-01-11 23:00:50 ET there is a movie called something like vampiros lesbos. that's a true prize if it's in you local video store.

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 23:01:54 ET Yes. Hard to imagine but it is worse than Buffy. (the tv show... the movie rocked)

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 23:02:48 ET really? I feel so...incomplete! I really enjoy a good bloody movie. Like resident evil, Seven blades, and All the jason,freddy,and H2O movies!

analog sky 2004-01-11 23:03:50 ET oh man, then you're missing all the quality euro-trash

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 23:04:47 ET like? I am a fan of Amera-trash myself! But I'll watch anything once.

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 23:04:53 ET This blood was quite fake. You could tell it was syrup

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 23:05:57 ET man that's sad even the guys I went to high school with make realistic blood in 2000

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 23:08:04 ET The sad part was this film was made only two years ago.

analog sky 2004-01-11 23:08:26 ET dead anime--check out directors like dario argento, mario bava, jess(e) franco, and jean rollin. they produce trash like noone else. haha corn syrup blood. that's the best...well, next to paint.

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 23:14:40 ET thanks for the names I will have to look into those sometime

Xaikayla 2004-01-11 23:16:20 ET My favorite part was the random preaching from some guy in the bushes. The scripture he was quoting had nothing to do with the movie

Dead Anime 2004-01-11 23:17:00 ET ? that's no fun. Well night I think I have had it for today.

analog sky 2004-01-11 23:17:17 ET cool. the euros seem to like gratuitous sex more, so yeah...expect trash :P oh, and how could I forget--fulci makes zombie flicks.

Return to Xaikayla's page