six hours of my day
2004-01-28 19:53:48 ET

At work today I put together 15 Ikea chairs.

Yes Virginia, there is a seventh ring of Hell.

2004-01-28 19:57:35 ET

did satan chew on you while you had to put those aweful things together?

2004-01-28 19:59:46 ET

He tried but I kicked him really hard and he left me alone. I think he figured the fabric that I had to make fit over the backs of the chairs was torture enough.

2004-01-28 20:02:48 ET

yuck. send whoever a bill for your time.

2004-01-28 20:08:27 ET

Does the doorway to the 7th level of hell have a keyhole that only an alankey will unlock?

2004-01-28 20:11:29 ET

No. I found myself in hell and armed only with an alankey. It was useless in the lock

2004-01-28 20:45:53 ET

My friend described shopping at Ikea to be the best experience ever. Better than being a rockstar.

anyways ... crap ... were you being punished?

2004-01-28 20:52:33 ET

The only thing Rockstarish about Ikea is the eventuallity that one will stand back and shake their head muttering "well I thought it was a good idea at the time."

Not being punished. it just had to be done. I make props for corporate events. I believe someone will be using this crap for a superbowl party.

2004-01-28 20:54:11 ET

Do you like football? Just curious.

2004-01-28 20:55:46 ET

I love football.

2004-01-28 20:56:13 ET

It's Ikea I hate

2004-01-28 20:57:03 ET

:) Kids love that place though. The zip through the isles and jump over the pallets like elves.

2004-01-28 20:57:32 ET

demonic elves!

2004-01-28 20:58:50 ET

For reals ... you hear them taunt eachother ... "You ain't got shit bitch, you bettah keep up!" "Watchu gonna do now homie cry to mom? Go ahead she ovah there!"

2004-01-28 20:59:35 ET

Do not trust the children you find in the seventh ring of Hell.

2004-01-28 20:59:37 ET

"weee, this chair rolls down the isles...weeeee"

2004-01-28 21:03:03 ET

I have shopped once at Ikea. My roomate loved it. I twitch when I think of that miserable experience.

2004-01-28 21:06:20 ET

I'll never go back to that place. I hate long lines, poor service and feeling of seperation. I hate talking to other customers who are lonely on the elevator.

I hate sassy cashiers. I love them ... no ... I hate them ...

2004-01-29 03:00:39 ET

I've walked into Ikea once. I looked around at the entrance, found the door that everyone was leaving from, figured out that that was where the cashiers were so I bolted in there, grabbed a gift card, paid for it and ran for my dear life.

2004-01-29 07:21:57 ET

Ikea plans to ruin the world. Once every home has cheap furniture in place and nothing solid is left it will then all fall apart.

Enjoy the solid table I made you. You will be one of the only people able to eat once Ikea goes into phase two of their evil plan.

2004-01-29 07:23:11 ET

Let's put on a bunch of brightly colored spandex costumes and STOP THEM!

2004-01-29 13:08:46 ET

*does not want to see Chris in tight spandex*

Is there such a thing as loose spandex?

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